Capsule Film Reviews #63: Nic Cage Times Two! Drive Angry and Season of the Witch.

Drive Angry (2011)
Starring: Nicolas Cage; Amber Heard; William Fichtner; Billy Burke; David Morse; Todd Farmer; Christa Campbell; Charlotte Ross; Tom Atkins.
Directed by: Patrick Lussier.
Colour/104 Minutes/R

Nicolas is an all-around bad ass in the Snake Plissken mold, called Milton. He's back from the dead, escaping from Hell (shown in this film as a large, very hot, prison), on the trail of cult leader -- and Elvis-look-alike -- Jonah King (Billy Burke), and his white trash Satanist followers. They have his granddaughter (his daughter was once a member of the cult until she fled and Jonah killed her) and intends to sacrifice the child during the next full moon in order to open Hell on Earth. A down-on-her-luck waitress called Piper (Amber Heard) joins Milton on his quest after he saves her from her abusive ex-boyfriend. On their trail is "The Accountant" (William Fichtner), a well-dressed soul collector for old Scratch himself, who will not take no for an answer. Drive Angry is an over-the-top and really quite fun mix of genres. It's a lewd, crude, and gory exploitation film; it's a chase movie; it's a western; and it's a supernatural action film. At times it felt like a crazy Joe R. Lansdale story come to life. Nicolas Cage wisely dials himself down in contrast to all the crazy stuff going on around him, and Heard makes for a good side-kick here. The stand-outs are Burke's evil Elvis and Fichtner's Accountant -- the latter having a lot of fun encountering various people and dealing with them as he hunts down Milton. Sometimes you need a film like this to flush out your system. It's nuts, like Shoot 'Em Up and the Crank series. The only real drawback is the wonky CGI (obviously overdone for 3D) which looks like total ass in 2D. Can we put this craze to rest? As always, it's nice to see genre fave Tom Atkins making the most of his bit part here. Good rental.

Season of the Witch (2011)
Starring: Nicolas Cage; Ron Perlman; Stephen Campbell Moore; Stephen Graham; Ulrich Thomsen; Claire Foy; Robert Sheehan; Christopher Lee.
Directed by: Dominic Sena.
Colour/95 Minutes/PG-13

Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman are Teutonic Knights Behmen and Felson. After growing tired of the horrors they have seen while taking part in the crusades, they desert and head back to Germany. However, as they travel through a plague-ridden Styria (Austria), they are caught. Cardinal D'Ambroise (Christopher Lee) tells them that a young woman (Claire Foy) is a suspected witch, and is the reason for the plague. If the two Knights escort her to a remote monastery, where the monks there know of a ritual than can stop the plague, they will be forgiven for their desertion. Behmen agrees as long as the girl gets a fair trial. Along for the ride are a priest called Debelzeq; an altar boy called Kay; the Knight Eckhart; and their shady guide Hagamar. Is the girl a witch, innocent, or something else altogether? Well, read no further if you don't want it given away. As these men undertake their mission strange things start to happen to them. She appears to have supernatural strength and powers, and the party is killed off one-by-one. This is a men-on-a-mission film with a dash of demonic possession thrown in, and it partly feels like a throwback to classic Hammer films, much like Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow did. However, the film is quite flawed. One can forgive the historical and geographic screw-ups (which there are quite a few), but it's hard to overlook how bored Cage and Perlman look here. I realize both characters are supposed to be world-weary men, but in their cases here it goes beyond method acting. It's the supporting characters that are forced to breath some life into this, and it's an uphill battle. Between the by-the-numbers script and the garbage CGI (those wolves were bloody awful), there's little to get excited about. It's not until the climax, as they fight undead monks, that we really get some fun brewing, but even that is undone by the horrible CGI demon they must face. Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? If you check the special features, there's a much better alternate ending that does away with the CGI demon and much of the wonky CGI effects, giving us a much more creepy and satisfying conclusion. It could be worth checking that out on a rainy day. Okay rental.