The Hougly Film and Beer Journal.

Capsule Film Reviews #68: Captain America; Wrong Turn 4; Terror Trap.

2012-01-30T16:18:00.008-04:00

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Starring: Chris Evans; Hayley Atwell; Sebastian Stan; Tommy Lee Jones; Hugo Weaving; Dominic Cooper; Richard Armitage; Stanley Tucci; Samuel L. Jackson; Toby Jones; Neal McDonough; Derek Luke; Kenneth Choi; JJ Feild; Bruno Ricci.

Directed by: Joe Johnston.

Colour/124 Minutes/PG-13

When I was into comic books I was never into Captain America. American Nationalism, apple pies, boy scouts. Blah. Not interesting. As boring as Superman really. I always took Batman's side. Of course Batman is a violent, anti-social psycho -- so that may say more about me than it does anything else. Still, the idea of a meek but determined young man being selected for a top secret super soldier programme, and becoming a hero and figurehead for the war effort, isn't a bad story if you do it properly. Captain America is another big budget entry into this "let's introduce the main Avengers characters before we do The Avengers movie" series of films. We've already had two okay Hulk films, two pretty good Iron Man films, and Thor. Poor Thor. Here we get Captain's (Chris Evans) origin story, how he becomes a propaganda tool, and how he eventually decides to take matters into his own hands, becoming the man he always wanted to be, and serving his country by going head-to-head with the evil Nazi Red Skull (Hugo Weaving, who is good despite his shitty mask). It's flashy, moves quickly, and it touches on all the points it needed to connect upon. It ties into the rest of the Avengers films by the end of it (other Avengers appear, as well as the black Nick Fury, Samuel L. Jackson!). Having good actors in key and supporting roles helps hold together an otherwise light story. I like good super hero films. This is an okay one. The genre, I think, is pretty much burned-out at this point. We'll see what The Dark Knight Rises has to say about that. I'm going to say this is worth a rental if there's nothing else.

Wrong Turn 4: Bloody Beginnings (2011)

Starring: Jennifer Pudavick; Tenika Davis; Kaitlyn Wong; Terra Vnesa; Victor Zinck, Jr.; Sean Skene; Blane Cypurda; Daniel Skene; Tristan Carlucci; Scott Johnson; Bryan Verot; Dean Armstrong; Ali Tataryn; Samantha Kendrick; Arne McPherson; Kristen Harris; Dave Harms.

Directed by: Declan O'Brien.

Colour/93 Minutes/R

A large group of young, dumb, and full of cum twenty-somethings show up to be killed and eaten by cannibal mutants. This time the film is set in an abandoned mental hospital that the victims get stuck in thanks to a snow storm. We learn that the original mutant family from the first three films had their start here as patients, and at this point in time are still living there. Prequel time. Oh joy. The budget seems a tad bigger than in the previous (horrible) film, Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (2009), which was to the original Wrong Turn (2003) as The Hill Have Eyes Part II was to The Hills Have Eyes, both in the case of the originals and remakes, actually. Wrong Turn 2: Dead End (2007) was actually really fun. Apparently someone has been watching the very good Cold Prey/Fritt vilt (2006) and its sequel, as this film borrows from both liberally, without managing to clone the mood and style. Sadly there is no Ingrid Bolsø Berdal as a final girl here. In fact none of the victims inspire any interest. Nor do the mutants, whom the film obviously wanted to shift attention to here as the stars. But the make-up effects this time around don't do them much justice. There are a few gore gags, and some skin, that do spruce things up, but overall this film is such a boring mess. It's better than part 3, but what isn't? Rent. Maybe.

Terror Trap (2010)

Starring: Michael Madsen; David James Elliott; Jeff Fahey; Heather Marie Marsden; Andrew Sensenig; Lacey Minchew; Matt Triplett; Mark De Alessandro; Danny Cosmo.

Directed by: Dan Garcia.

Colour and B&W/86 Minutes/R

Have you seen Vacancy (2007)? Have you seen the direct-to-video Vacancy 2: The First Cut (2008)? Then you've seen this film already. A shameless and disjointed rip-off that makes most of the torture porn Hostel (2005) rip-offs look like original masterpieces. And of course, Vacancy was a bit of torture porn and a Hostel rip-off itself, wasn't it? Well, if this is its own sub genre now (Motel Torture Porn, I guess?), then Vacancy is Hostel and this is somewhere at the tail end of the Saw series. But hey, we get Michael Madsen in this for five seconds as the owner of this capture-and-kill motel set-up, where innocent victims are trapped at the motel and killed for sick fucks observing via two-way mirrors. Jeff Fahey is the only shining light here, making the most out of his scene-crewing psycho cop who rounds up victims, and keeps the motel protected from the law and any other peeping eyes. He's essentially playing R. Lee Ermey's character from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003) and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006). I can forgive that rip-off though because Fahey is fucking awesome. Michael Madsen, when did you stop giving a shit? Avoid. Abort.

DVD Spotlight: Day of the Dead (1985).

2012-01-04T08:30:00.018-04:00

Day of the Dead (1985)

DVD Release Year: 2003.

Release by: Anchor Bay Entertainment.

Region: 1.

Starring: Lori Cardille; Terry Alexander; Jarlath Conroy; Joseph Pilato; Richard Liberty; Sherman Howard; Gary Howard Klar; Ralph Marrero; John Amplas.

Directed by: George A. Romero.

Colour/101 Minutes/NR

Years after the zombie apocalypse has taken place, the undead now have overrun the world. Some of the last human survivors (a small combination of civilians, scientists and soldiers) are hiding in an underground army base in the Everglades, where the scientists are trying to both look for a solution to the zombie problem, as well as make contact with other survivors. The soldiers are there to protect them. However, there is a need to capture "live" zombies in order to do tests on them. This is costing the soldiers their lives, something they are not too keen on. The two civilians, John and William McDermott (Terry Alexander and Jarlath Conroy), the helicopter pilot and a drunk in charge of the radio respectively, are just keeping their heads down as tensions escalate.

There is division even between the two lead scientists. Dr. Sarah Bowman (Lori Cardille) just wants to find a "cure", or at lest find some way to put an end to the zombie threat, as well as support her emotionally unbalanced boyfriend, Pvt. Miguel Salazar (Anthony Dileo Jr.). However, Dr. Matthew "Frankenstein" Logan (Richard Liberty), who has obviously gone bonkers, wants to find a way to actually control the zombies and use them. Because of this he's been burning through test subjects. However, he does keep one prized subject "alive", that being "Bub" (Sherman Howard), who has displayed an ability to learn and recognize things and concepts from his past, before he turned into a zombie. Logan thinks he's on the verge of a breakthrough.

But their time is short, and the fuse on the new military commander, Capt. Rhodes (Joseph Pilato), is even shorter. The previous commander has just died, and now Rhodes is in charge and not as interested in putting his men at risk for experiments that have failed to produce any real results. He wants to cease the look for a cure and find a way out of the hole they are in. He's quickly turning into a mad dog under the stress, and his men are no better. They seem like they are bottom of the barrel National Guard recruits rather than trained soldiers. Slobs, who don't trust Miguel to do his job (even making racist remarks towards him) and leering at Sarah, as she's the only woman in the base. It doesn't help matters when Rhodes starts to suspect Logan is up to something. And he is: Logan has been running out of regular zombies from outside the base to do his tests upon, and has been using the bodies of the recently dead soldiers to keep things going...

Day of the Dead is the most looked-down upon of Romero's original trilogy, and indeed there's not a lot that's new here from the previous film Dawn of the Dead. It's the same situation, but much worse. Society is totally gone now. Hordes of zombies walk the streets. The last people alive are very close together and isolated from the outside world. Tensions are as high as can be. Racism and sexism find a fertile breeding ground, and the zombies continue to wait, and wait. Eventually they will get in because the humans will leave the door open. Deep down the last survivors know it, and that only makes things more desperate for them. There is no hope anymore but to escape and live out their lives somewhere.

Romero and crew were faced with having a substantial amount of their budget cut from the film (from about 7 down to 3.5 million), so much of the original story got thrown out. This film was actually intended to be an epic to rival Dawn of the Dead. The subplot with Bub, and Dr. Logan learning to control the zombies was to be a much larger part of the original film. But most of that was lost, and sadly critics focused more on the scenes of stressed-out people yelling at each other in an underground bunker. Not enough action, not enough zombies. It's too bad, as I think Day deserves much better. The actors are good. This may be the best acting in any of Romero's zombie pictures, actually. I bought into each performance. Everyone is stressed and dealing with it in different ways. Sarah is not only being strong for herself, but for Miguel, who has fallen into a nervous breakdown. The soldiers are scared and have become mean, alcoholic bullies. Capt. Rhodes is a despot. Dr. Logan is clearly insane beyond reason. The civilians, John and William, have isolated themselves from the rest in an effort to hold on to their humanity and sanity. The zombie, Bud, is like an innocent child, and seeing part of his past humanity coming back to him through Logan's encouragement is touching (and heartbreaking when he discovers Logan's corpse later on).

Also of note are the locations used and the make-up effects. Much like the mall in Dawn was perfect, the underground facilities near Wampum, Pennsylvania, were exactly for what they needed here. The cast truly feels walled-in and isolated in this storage facility, full of the remains of a now collapsed society. They are in effect living in a tomb. The abandoned cities above ground are no better for them, as the scenes shot on location in Florida are just as claustrophobic when the walls of zombies show up. The effects work from Tom Savini and Gregory Nicotero are really quite impressive and only highlight why there should have been more zombie scenes in the film to spice things up ("Dr. Tongue" from the opening is a jaw-dropper in more ways than one!). There is, at least, a hell of a lovely slaughter when the zombies do finally make their way into the base. And Bub should also be mentioned here: he really comes alive with a perfect melding of physical performance and make-up design. He has stood out in the minds of fans over the years, and the "smart zombie" concept has lived on into Romero's Land of the Dead.

The film has gone on to have a lasting influence on the zombie horror genre, and in pop culture, although not as strongly as Dawn. But let's face it, that's a pretty big giant to slay. Anchor Bay's 2-disc DVD (also in single disc DVD and Blu-ray) is a perfect way to pay due respect to the film. The commentary track, like all of Romero's commentaries, is laid back, fun, and informative. This, along with the film looking and sounding great on DVD, is generally worth the price right there, but then you get an okay fan boy commentary from Roger Avary (writer/producer/director, who is best know for writing Pulp Fiction). Disc 2 gives you the expected extensive, and informative, documentaries and production supplements. You even get a physical extra in the form of Dr. Logan's "files", which is a fake ruled notepad with an essay on the film, artwork, and some of Logan's "notes". Sort of pointless, but good fun.

DVD Information:

Disc One: Feature Film

Video: 1.85:1.

Audio: Dolby Digital-EX 5.1, Dolby Digital 2.0 and DTS-ES 6.1

Subtitles: English.

--Audio commentary with writer/director George A. Romero, special make-up effects artists Tom Savini, production designer Cletus Anderson, and actress Lori Cardille.

--Audio commentary with filmmaker Roger Avary.

Disc Two: Bonus Materials

--The Many Days of Day of the Dead -- An all-new 39 minute documentary featuring interviews with writer-director George A.Romero, producer David Ball, special make-up effects artists Tom Savini and Greg Nicotero, production designer Cleatus Anderson, assistant director Chris Romero, and actors Lori Cardille, Joseph Pilato and Howard Sherman.

--DAY OF THE DEAD: Behind The Scenes -- 31 minutes of production footage from special make-up effects artist Tom Savini.

--Audio interview with actor Richard Liberty.

--Wampum Mine promotional video.

--Theatrical trailers.

--TV spots.

--Production Stills.

--Behind-the-scenes photos.

--Posters & advertising art.

--Gallery of memorabilia.

--Zombie make-up photo gallery.

--Continuity stills gallery.

--George Romero bio.

--DVD-ROM: Original screenplay and production memos.

The 20 Best Films I Watched in 2011.

2012-01-01T10:19:00.028-04:00

I hope everyone had a good holiday season. Much like in 2010, I just don't get to watch a lot of new releases. I don't have time for theatres (or at least easy access to a good one) so I generally have to wait until something comes out on video and I have time off to actually sit down and watch the film. My list of the best films I watched in 2010 reflected this. I do watch a lot of films and I have a quite large DVD collection at this point with a couple hundred films I haven't even watched yet (you can thank those ultra-cheap 50 film DVD sets for that!). So yet again I'm going to list the 20 films I enjoyed the most this year, regardless of what year they are actually from. They don't even have to be "good" movies, they just had to be films that were new to me, that I enjoyed. Most of the films on this list have yet to be reviewed by me officially for the blog. Hopefully they will all be written about soon (if my plans to post more often hold up). I've written a small blurb for all of these. Hopefully there will be a couple of films on this list that may spark some interest for you.

20. Conan the Barbarian (2011) | Directed by Marcus Nispel.

This film deserved a better script and a better director, but Jason Momoa is the right guy for the role (he's a much better fit physically and verbally than Arnold Schwarzenegger ever was). He makes the most out of what he's given here in this otherwise drab and by-the-numbers CGI-ridden sword and sandals film. At the very least he's got some really solid villains to go against and the film does stick a bit closer to the original stories. There is potential here for the future, but I fear we'll never see a proper Conan series.

19. Nightmare City (1980) | Directed by Umberto Lenzi.

Perhaps the most crazy of all the late '70s-early '80s zombie films to come out of Europe. There's no doubt there's some distasteful treatment of women in this film (a not uncommon attitude from Euro horror films of this era) but one can not deny the charm of the "zombies" in this film. Here we have crazy, radiation-infected, fast zombies, long before 28 Days Later came to be. They use weapons, they bite, they infect everyone they come in contact with. Mobs of them swarm the city without fear. They are almost unstoppable. The heroes are more keen to run and evade than fight, and of course the military is to blame, and are unable to fix their mistakes. It's almost like Romero's The Crazies on speed. Not a great film, but great fun.

18. Jive Turkey (1974) | Directed by Bill Brame.

This is a prime example of those everything including the kitchen sink cheap Blaxploitation films. The Black crime lord vs the Italian Mafia with the white establishment caught in the middle, and other various standard stock characters thrown in, all with different motivations. Lots of action, violence, and a cross-dressing hit man! This was an era where the word "nigger" was thrown at the viewer a mile a minute (even one of the theme songs is called "Nigger Rich"). The film is an entertaining piece of trash.

17. Black Fist (1974) | Directed by Timothy Galfas and Richard Kaye.

A refreshing Blaxploitation film where the hero isn't anything more than a street tough who works his way up through an illegal street-fighting ring. He makes a lot of money for the local crime boss and the dirty cop, but when he wants to stop playing their game and get out, things cycle out of control and into violence that affects his family and friends. Cheap, but well-acted, and there's a message about what a life of crime and solving violence with more violence will lead to. This one, I think, screams for a remake because the message is solid.

16. Black Swan (2010) | Directed by Darren Aronofsky.

Another look at obsession from Aronofsky. Parts of this film leave me cold, and it was a much over-hyped film, but it is well acted, and it does look great. I just feel it pales in comparison to The Wrestler. Perhaps it's just because ballet is not my thing. Still, a fairly strong effort overall. Vincent Cassel's slime ball character here is great.

15. Red State (2011) | Directed by Kevin Smith.

The most un-Smith Kevin Smith film, with a stand-out villain in Micheal Parks' crazy fundie preacher. He pretty much steals the entire film away from everyone else. The film itself is not greater than the sum of its parts and Smith backs away from a real daring ending after teasing us, but it's still a good effort considering he stepped way out of his comfort zone for this. It may be his best film as far as serious work goes, and it's really not a bad little horror film all things considered.

14. Monsters (2010) | Directed by Gareth Edwards.

I don't know if I can properly sum this one up until I've seen it a couple of more times. I know there were aliens but the film is not really an alien invasion flick. I know there was a dangerous journey and an understanding that develops between two people put together in a bad situation. I also know quite liked it. Singular.

13. Hanna (2011) | Directed by: Joe Wright.

I think some will be rubbed the wrong way watching a film about an innocent-looking, willowy teen-aged girl being a highly-trained assassin on the run, but for everyone else, this is a top-notch action film with a bit of Euro travelogue thrown in. It plays out at times like a fairy tale and indeed presents us with one hell of a nasty wicked stepmother for a villain. The key to the whole thing is that although Hanna is programmed to be a killer, she really is a sensitive, intelligent and inquisitive young woman looking for a family and a sense of purpose in a world that may as well be another planet for her. All the chase scenes involving sadistic hired goons looking for Hanna, and Hanna dealing with them in nasty ways, are just nice window dressing.

12. The Eagle (2011) | Directed by Kevin Macdonald.

A really well done adventure following the son of the last eagle standard bearer of the Ninth Legion looking to reclaim it for Rome. He goes behind enemy lines into the wilds of unoccupied Britain with his British slave. Their quest, which involves a test of trust and loyalty between the Roman master and his slave is only half the story, as we also get a look at what the Celts and Picts may have been like, as well as the day-to-day life of the Roman foot soldier guarding the border that was Hadrian's Wall. A fun film for a lazy night. Neil Marshall's Centurion would pair well with this film.

11. Black Death (2010) | Directed by Christopher Smith.

A men on a mission film set in the newly plague-ridden England of 1348. Mercs led by Sean Bean's knight Ulric go on a holy quest to find what they believe to be the supernatural cause for God bringing his punishment down upon them. They bring a young, innocent monk along with them as they hunt down a supposed necromancer in a pagan village that is free of the plague. The actors are good, the film moves at a good pace, and we are wisely kept in the dark about if there is any real supernatural forces at work, as these two religions clash. Does either one have any moral high ground in the end? Gory, tough, good.

10. Mesrine: Part 1 - Killer Instinct/Mesrine:

Part 2 - Public Enemy #1 (2008) | Directed by Jean-François Richet.

Every bit one film as the Kill Bill films are, so I include both parts here as one entry. A stylish, never boring, bio pic about the real life international criminal Jacques Mesrine. Vincent Cassel gives a great performance, keeping you glued to the screen as he does the most awful things to whoever gets in his way. Like most bio pics, it's a bit episodic, and real life facts get compressed, switched around and sometimes just dropped altogether. But somehow it works very well as a lean, mean gangster film and a look at the persona Mesrine created for himself with the media, up to the very end of his life when the police most likely put a hit out on him.

9. Red Hill (2010) | Directed by Patrick Hughes.

An escaped convicted murderer, looking like some sort of cowboy from hell, sets to take his revenge on a small rural Australian town. The new rookie cop is caught in the middle of it, looking to get to the bottom of just who this man is and why he's got such a grudge, when it's obvious the rest of the local cops know more than they are letting on about the situation. Stylish, well-acted, and moody. Makes you think it is just another low budget slasher film, but then it throws you a few curve balls to keep you on your toes. I really enjoyed this one.

8. Stake Land (2010) | Directed by Jim Mickle.

A dash of I Am Legend (the novella, you mook, not the damn Will Smith film) and the visual style of The Road and Children of Men. This vampire-hunting journey in a vampire plague-destroyed USA is not only an eye-catcher, it's also well-written and well-made indie effort that puts many big budget horror films to shame. It's almost a really gritty, humorless version of Zombie Land. I went in expecting nothing and came out quite impressed. There is real talent here. Why can't all indie horror be this good?

7. True Grit (2010) | Directed by Ethan Coen & Joel Coen.

If you want the closest adaptation to the original book, this is where you should go. To hell with John Wayne playing a grumpy John Wayne with an eye patch. Jeff Bridges loses himself in the character and the film really does have the true grit the original lacked. Hailee Steinfeld and Matt Damon provide good foils for this Rooster. Barry Pepper and Josh Brolin are great, believable villains. This isn't the greatest western made in the last twenty years or so, but it's one of them, and it feels like one of those brave westerns from the 1970s, when the genre was in its death throws.

6. My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done (2009) | Directed by Werner Herzog.

Herzog gives us what first appears to be a very by-the-numbers police procedural and throws it on its head when put in contrast to the deep insanity Willem Dafoe's tired cop encounters on one bright and sunny morning, as a man has snapped and killed his mother with a sword. Micheal Shannon is totally believable as a man who has lost his mind somewhere after a trip to Peru. He's one of the best and most singular actors out there. Maybe the new Christopher Walken? Produced by David Lynch...did he also provide the craft services for this film?

5. Attack the Block (2011) | Directed by Joe Cornish.

The best alien invasion film I've seen in years. Fun action, good characters and effective alien designs. Animalistic aliens that are apparently jumping from planet to planet in a mating/eat-the-native-creatures cycle. They meet up with some teen-aged London street toughs who don't feel too keen on being food for these "gorilla-wolf motherfuckers", as our heroes so coin them. This sets up what I think can best described as the film John Carpenter might have made if he was given the Goonies script and allowed to rewrite it as an alien invasion film. The set-up is so simple, yet there's also some depth, with good character stuff here. And it's not one of those safe films about young heroes saving the day and living happily ever after. Some bad shit does go down for some of them. A real gem genre fans should be looking out for.

4. Inception (2010) | Directed by Christopher Nolan.

A visual mind-fuck, but not nearly as confusing as it could have been...and this film is not as dependant on its secrets as Nolan's Memento was. After all the flashy (and first-rate CGI) effects and high-profile cast are set aside, one can see a sad, haunting ghost story in the heart of this, pretending to be sci-fi. What is a ghost anyway, but guilt or memories of past mistakes? Leonardo DiCaprio's character, with out a doubt, is haunted here.

3. Strangers on a Train (1951) | Directed by Alfred Hitchcock.

An early classic from Hitchcock's American films. I can't properly sum up how many great things are going on in this chance meeting between two strangers on a train, which leads to a murder and our meek playboy hero trying to dig himself out of the hole Robert Wagner's foppish psycho has put him in. So much of what would come later in Hitchcock's best loved films is present here. And the film itself is quite subversive for its time. This film is overlooked quite often, which is a shame as it's a first-rate thriller.

2. 13 Assassains (2010) | Directed by Takashi Miike.

One of the few films of Miike's I've seen or was interested in seeing for that matter, and it was well worth it, even if the international version cuts twenty minutes from the film and stashes them in the DVD special features as deleted scenes. Restrained for Miike, but still shocking in key places, he makes his own stab at creating an epic samurai film in the Kurosawa mold. Although he's not as visually talented as Kurosawa was, this is no mere imitation of Seven Samurai (actually, it's a remake of a 1963 film of the same name). Miike takes the central idea and runs it down several winding paths. The samurai here are not all as well-defined as in Seven Samurai, but their goal is broken down to the finest gritty detail: save the empire from war by ambushing and killing a sadistic lord before he takes power. They all realize that at the same time they are helping doom the samurai way of life for good. Brutal and bloody, but humor and a nice little twist of the supernatural make their way into this impressive film, where more than half of it is taken up in a bloody, desperate battle.

1. Black Dynamite (2009) | Directed by Scott Sanders

The best film of the year of its release, as well, now that I think about it. I was expecting to find something akin to the awful Undercover Brother -- or if I was lucky, one of Tarantino's fun recreation-with-a-twist genre exhumations that doesn't quite hit the mark. I was blown away to find such a dead-on recreation of the Blaxploitation film, that I was often fooled into thinking I was watching one of those so-bad-they're-great budget Blaxploitation films, that throw everything including the kitchen sink at you. Great cast, great intentional mistakes throughout the film, and the film just looks and feels like the real deal. The only slip-up is that unlike the films in the genre it's paying respects to (great or awful), there are no slow moments. Every scene seems like it was taken from a reel of the best bad moments in Blaxploitation film history, forgetting just how many of those films had a lot of slow exposition and scenes where nothing happens, thrown in to pad the running time.

Honourable Mentions:

Wake Wood (2011) | Directed by David Keating.

The Town (2010) | Directed by Ben Affleck.

Machete (2010) | Directed by Ethan Maniquis & Robert Rodriguez.

Let Me In (2010) | Directed by Matt Reeves.

I Sell the Dead (2008) | Directed by Glenn McQuaid.

Predators (2010) | Directed by Nimród Antal.

Road Kill (2010) | Dean Francis.

Taking a break...

2011-12-02T13:01:00.005-04:00

To anyone who may stop by, the blog is not dead, nor am I. I've been too busy to do any real writing for about a month now. It's annoying, but it can't be helped. However, I have been watching movies, planning and working on reviews, and will continue to do so this month (I have a healthy backlog to post from). I'll be back to posting on a more regular basis (including beer reviews) in January 2012. Happy holidays/new year to you all. Cheers.

DVD Spotlight: Night of the Living Dead (Millennium Edition) (1968).

2011-10-30T10:48:00.020-03:00

Night of the Living Dead (Millennium Edition) (1968)
DVD Release Year: 2002.
Released by: Elite Entertainment.
Region: 1.
Starring: Duane Jones; Judith O'Dea; Karl Hardman; Marilyn Eastman; Keith Wayne; Judith Ridley; Kyra Schon; Charles Craig; S. William Hinzman; George Kosana; Frank Doak; Bill 'Chilly Billy' Cardille.
Directed by: George A. Romero.
Black & White/96 Minutes/NR

A diverse group of people find themselves trapped together in a farmhouse as the recently dead come back as flesh-eating ghouls. They must pull together in order to survive the night as the undead masses continue to grow larger outside, attempting to break into the house and eat them. The real threat to their survival, however, may very well be their own differences.

And there you have it: a premise so simple and effective for a number of reasons, both intended and accidental, that it went on to spawn four sequels, remakes, and remakes of its sequels -- not to forget the countless number of films that make up the modern zombie film genre. A lot of people who have seen other zombie films before Romero's look back and wonder what's so special about this cheap, black-and-white, indie effort from a bunch of professional local filmmakers from the Pittsburgh area, who before this were mostly making television commercials. Why would the Library of Congress select this film for preservation in the National Film Registry, as a film deemed "culturally, historically or aesthetically significant"? Because is was a bit different and it came out at a perfect time. It was gory, violent, it had some nudity. Not really new, but at the time it was pushing limits and it was shocking, and it did a lot to define what the modern horror film was to become. It was, in a way, the next step after the era of the Universal monsters all the way to Hammer's re-imaging of those classics. People went in not expecting to see walking corpses actually eating guts, and the living shooting and beating these ghouls back into death.

The combination of both professional and amature actors, the setting, and the grainy black and white (done because it was cheaper to make the film this way, not for artistic reasons), gave the film an almost pseudo-documentary feel to it. These were not the zombies of past films. These creatures were not safe or clean. These were monsters out of nightmares -- and with a strong literary influence (Richard Matheson's I Am Legend). Some aspects of this film's success critically, over the years, really only fell into the filmmakers laps...and being smart to see what they had, they ran with it. Romero and crew swear to this day that there was no grand design for the racial subtext many people would later cite as being the most significant aspect of the film. The casting of Ben as a black male lead, who was obviously an intellectual and a humanist, trying to be rational in this crisis, was more Duane Jones doing than the actual script, which had called for a traditional tough-guy (in this case a truck driver), who would take charge, beat the monsters, and get the girl. It's so obvious it was a happy accident when we see that these young, liberal, filmmakers still had the female lead (Judith O'Dea) diminished into near-insanity within the first half of the film...a traditional helpless female victim if there ever was one, although an understandable one given what she went through. There was to be no happy ending for any character in this film other than the good ol' boy hunting parties and their brute indifference, that come to the "rescue" at the end of the film. We would learn ten years later in Dawn of the Dead, that they were just as doomed as the rest of us. Romero's nihilistic vision was born here and spread its wings in several of his still-to-come films. Like it or hate it, you can not deny the impact this film had on the horror genre, generations of people, and on a culture in general.

While officially out of print, Elite's Millennium Edition is still fairly easy to get online or by special order at your local DVD seller. If you're really lucky you can find it in a cheap bin or second hand. After the countless horrible DVD and VHS versions that have been released over the years, this is nothing short of being one of the best DVD releases outside of most of Criterion's output. Forget the colourized versions, the censored versions, and the horrible re-cut and musically abused 30th Anniversary edition. This is what you want and this is what you must own if you're a fan. You get the best possible picture and sound you could hope for. You get all the standard production and promotional-related bells and whistles. The two commentary tracks alone, both fun and casual, also provide everything one could ever hope to know about how the film came to be, how it was made, and what happened behind the scenes between the people involved. It's really eye-opening to realize just how damn good this little movie really is when Romero and crew point out every little error they made, which you've probably missed during the many times you've seen the film. The real gem in the extras is the Duane Jones interview. While audio only, it sheds some light on just why the late actor's role in the film was so effective: because so much of this man was put into what was originally a one-dimensional character. He became real. And, of course, at the time you didn't really see a strong black lead in a film that didn't pander to some sort of stereotype. Romero would catch on and use this to great effect in his next two zombie films as well. There's a lot to take-in here, and a lot to drool over.

DVD Information:

Video: 1.33:1.
Audio: English (Dolby Digital 2.0 Mono), English (Dolby Digital 5.1).
Subtitles: None.
--Trailers/TV Spots.
--Dual Commentary Tracks featuring creator/director George Romero and the entire cast.
--Film Parody Night of the Living Bread.
--Still Photo Gallery, featuring rare colour photos.
--The history of Romero's company -- The Latent Image.
--Scenes from the “lost” George Romero film, There’s Always Vanilla.
--Video interview with Night of the Living Dead's Judy Ridley.
--Final interview by star Duane Jones.
--Foreign and Domestic posters and collectibles.
--Original props.
--The entire original shooting script.
--Cast members’ personal scrapbooks.
--George Romero directed TV spots and short films.
--Full colour insert featuring liner notes by Stephen King.

Film Review: Hanna.

2011-10-06T11:47:00.007-03:00

Hanna (2011)
Starring: Saoirse Ronan; Eric Bana; Cate Blanchett; Tom Hollander; Olivia Williams; Jason Flemyng; John MacMillan; Tim Beckmann; Sebastian Hülk; Joel Basman; Sebastian Hülk.
Directed by: Joe Wright.
Colour/111 Minutes/R

16 year old Hanna (Saoirse Ronan) is raised in isolation in the Finnish wilderness by her father Erik (Eric Bana). All of her life she has been trained as a perfect assassin. Everything she knows of the outside world comes from Erik and the books they have in their home. She has been taught to speak in many languages and has been drilled with false back stories in order to protect her once she does step into the real world. One day Hanna is given the choice by Erik to press a button which will activate a transmitter. It will alert some specific people in the CIA to their whereabouts. She presses the button and her whole world changes. Erik leaves after giving Hanna instructions. Hanna is soon captured by a special forces team and is taken to a CIA safe house where it's revealed that CIA officer Marissa Wiegler (Cate Blanchett) is tasked with finding and killing Erik, and Erik has raised Hanna to kill Wiegler. After killing Wiegler's double (thinking it was the real deal), she escapes to find her father. The chase is on.

Hanna is a surprisingly well-done and effective mash up of spy, assassin and chase films, with a bit of European travelogue thrown in. Pale and willowy, Hanna is almost like an alien visitor to our world. Highly intelligent and inquisitive as she may be, she bumps up against a world far beyond what her father and his books have prepared her for. It's only the ruthless training she has had that manages to keep her one step ahead of those who seek to capture and kill her. There may be some sly jab at home-schooling there, but who knows.

Hanna is a believable character because, much like the protagonists in La Femme Nikita (1990) and Leon: the Professional (1994), there is a real person inside: she's not a comic book cut-out, who spouts bad-ass lines, like "Hit-Girl" from 2010's Kick-Ass. Hanna may be a trained killer but she's also an innocent young girl, coming into sexual maturity. Her ability to kill does not define her, her desire to connect and find a family and discover who she is does. As people who come in contact with her suffer, she soon realizes she must make her own decisions and find her own purpose.

Not to be outdone, there's the cold, professional, and highly determined Weigler. We discover as the film goes on just why she is so driven to kill Erik and Hanna. If they live, her past will come back to haunt her. She is highly amoral, but no doubt does not think of herself as so. In her mind this whole thing is all about damage control. Ends justify means. The more the situation spirals out of control, the more desperate actions she will take. Hired killers from outside her organization, illegal interrogations, and the ability to pull the trigger herself are all within her to do without a second thought. The major indication of the stresses she is under, in order to keep her outward appearance of control, comes out in her obsession with her dental hygiene. She'll cut her gums up if it means a perfect flossing. Nobody looks at the gums, just the teeth. She reminded me a lot of Tilda Swinton's character Karen Crowder from 2007's Michael Clayton. Although not quite equal to that, it's still a fine performance.

Some of the strange characters Hanna meets, including the vacationing family who sort of adopt her (and whose fate is left wisely unknown after Weigler catches them), and the freaky Germanic assassins Weigler employs, almost seem to skirt the line between realistic and comic book, but I think they work because we are sort of seeing them through Hanna's eyes. To her they are strange and because our sympathy lies with Hanna, we can accept them. The action scenes are not overdone to any extent that I said "oh, fuck off, that's stupid", and are well-staged. Hanna does eventually learn about who she is and why she is the way she is. Much of it is no surprise to anyone who has watched a movie or two, but these revelations are hardly the point. In the end, all that counts is that I liked Hanna, and because the film is mostly about her journey, I liked the film. A very worthy rental or buy.

Charles Napier RIP.

2011-10-06T07:56:00.005-03:00

Charles Napier

April 12, 1936 -- October 5, 2011

Selected Filmography:

Cherry, Harry & Raquel! (1970)
Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970)
Supervixens (1975)
The Blues Brothers (1980)
Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985)
Miami Blues (1990)
The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

One-Eyed Monster (2008)

Capsule Film Reviews #67: Street Kings 2: Motor City and The Big Bang.

2011-10-01T12:36:00.006-03:00

Street Kings 2: Motor City (2011)
Starring: Ray Liotta; Shawn Hatosy; Linda Boston; Ele Bardha; Kevin Chapman; Clifton Powell; Tiren Jhames; Inbar Lai; Gordon Michaels; Jack Moore.
Directed by: Chris Fisher.
Colour/92 Minutes/NR

This is the direct-to-video sequel to the original theatrical film about dirty cops, starring Keanu Reeves, and the screenplay was written by James Ellroy. All of that is gone, and now we have a film about dirty cops, this time set in Detroit. Ray Liotta was part of an undercover squad attempting to bust a major drug ring. The deal went bad, he was shot, and here we are years later with Liotta disabled and playing the part of an anti-crime mascot for appearances at elementary schools. One of his former partners is killed on the job and a young cop, played by Shawn Hatosy, is tasked with the investigation. Liotta is paired with him. Cue the usual old cop vs. young cop stuff. More of Liotta's old squad are killed. Cue the typical young cop finding out that the old cop is hiding stuff from him, and hey, let's blow the whole mystery 45 minutes into the story and run on a revenge autopilot plot for the rest of the film. That's Street Kings 2. When it's not on autopilot, it's illogical and dumb. It's not the worst film of this type I've seen, but a tubby, unmotivated Liotta brings nothing to the table here, and why the hell do I care to watch this when it's obvious Liotta is the killer? This doesn't live up to the original film, and the original wasn't exactly setting the world on fire. You want a better dirty cop film starring Liotta? Go find Narc from 2002. Avoid. Abort.

The Big Bang (2011)
Starring: Antonio Banderas; Thomas Kretschmann; William Fichtner; Sienna Guillory; Delroy Lindo; Robert Ernie Lee; James Van Der Beek; Robert Maillet; Snoop Dogg; Rebecca Mader; Autumn Reeser; Sam Elliott; Jimmi Simpson.
Directed by: Tony Krantz
Colour/101 Minutes/R

Antonio Banderas is Ned Cruz, a private detective who finds himself being interrogated by some hot-headed detectives, who want to get to the bottom of the murders connected with his latest job. A former boxer and ex-con, Anton 'The Pro' Protopov (Robert Maillet, an ex-pro wrestler who was best known as Kurrgan in the WWF) was serving a life sentence for murder, when he was suddenly released after someone else admitted to the crime. He is now seeking the love of his life, a stripper who wrote him love letters while he was behind bars, and is sitting on a cache of diamonds. Cruz, of course, finds that things are much more complicated than they seem. He must wade through various odd characters as he searches for a women he finds himself falling for as well. Some of the people he talks to drop like flies. Of note, there is an eccentric billionaire conducting atomic fusion experiments with an underground proton collider, in an attempt to find the "God particle" (Sam Elliott); a disgraced actor (James Van Der Beek); a nympho physics freak, who wants to be there when the collider comes online (Autumn Reeser); and a porn director who stars in his own films (Snoop Dogg). The Big Bang is a nice little love letter to noir films of the past, but it manages to add its own little twists to the formula, and it has a great cast, who all manage to make the most of their parts, big or small. Don't get me wrong: there's nothing really new here, but as long as it's done well, does it matter that much? I'd say no. Banderas reminds the viewer that he's actually a really good actor when he's not wasting his talent on Zorro films, and he carries this film well, even if he's sort of miscast here. The film ends with the required, but well-done twists in the plot. A lot of people die. Autumn Reeser gets naked. You could do much worse. Worth renting.

Capsule Film Reviews #66: I Sell the Dead and Blood Creek.

2011-09-20T11:55:00.013-03:00

I Sell the Dead (2008)
Starring: Dominic Monaghan; Ron Perlman; Larry Fessenden; Angus Scrimm; John Speredakos; Eileen Colgan; Brenda Cooney.
Directed by: Glenn McQuaid.
Colour/85 Minutes/NR

Dominic Monaghan is Arthur Blake: a grave robber by trade, who is awaiting his execution. Visited by the odd Father Duffy (Ron Perlman), he exchanges his life story for a bottle of whisky. He takes us back to his start as an apprentice grave robber of the slimy pro Willie Grimes (Larry Fessenden). He relates their early exploits digging up corpses for the evil Dr. Vernon Quint (Angus Scrimm) -- which leads them to more and more encounters with the supernatural (vampires, zombies...and something a bit more "out there") -- to going into business themselves; teaming up with the ambitious Fanny Bryers (Brenda Cooney), and their troubles with a rival gang of grave robbers, made of much meaner stuff than they ever where. This is a feature length remake of director Glenn McQuaid's 13 minute short The Resurrection Apprentice, from 2005 (Fessenden and Cooney starred in that as well). It's briskly-paced and it has a lot in common with the sort of classic Hammer or Amicus stuff a lot of die-hard fans like, although there's a lot more black humour running throughout the film than you would usually find in those sort of films. Good performances from the leads, and it's nice to see Angus Scrimm ham it up as only he can (damn it though: Phantasm V is never going to happen is it?). On the negative side of things, although there is a nice twist ending, just about anyone can see it coming a mile away, and the brisk pace chops the film up, making it feel a bit too episodic, leaving one wanting a bit more from the various plot points they touched on. Still, a pretty good rental or even a buy.

Blood Creek (2009)
Starring: Henry Cavill; Dominic Purcell; Emma Booth; Michael Fassbender; Rainer Winkelvoss; László Mátray; Joy McBrinn; Shea Whigham.
Directed by: Joel Schumacher.
Colour and B&W/90 Minutes/R

In 1930s rural West Virginia an immigrant German family are contacted by a Nazi occultist (Michael Fassbender). He wishes to stay with them, pretending to be a visiting scholar, offering them money for their room, board, and time. They soon learn that his visit is concerned with tapping into the powers contained in an unearthed Viking rune stone. The family go against him, trapping both he and themselves in a cursed supernatural prison of sorts, that exists in its own time bubble, that requires blood sacrifices to keep it up and running. This of course leads to various people in the area going missing over the years. In 2007 one such victim manages to escape, after being captured for many months, and enlists the help of his shell-shocked brother to go back and take revenge on the family for what they did to him, unaware of the much more horrible secret they are keeping buried on their property. Trapped on a farm with a seriously pissed-off Nazi occultist, who can raise the recently dead (human or otherwise), is not a situation one wants to find themselves in. Joel Schumacher is a love him or hate him sort of director, and this little swim into the ocean of direct-to-video horror is not one of his best efforts. Still, with his and Michael Fassbender's names attached, one may be interested in checking this out. The setting and the mood generally works. The Nazi occult angle stuff is effective enough if you don't think about it too hard (it helps if you're like me and really dig that sort of plot device), and the film is well-made action-horror film over all, despite the fact that Schumacher had arguments with writer David Kajganich over the script, and eventually rewrote parts of it himself. Is that why there's some downright terrible dialogue and logic gaps here? Who knows. Thankfully the actors are good enough to sell it for the most part. Okay rental.

Capsule Film Reviews #65: The Big I Am and The Bleeding.

2011-09-05T13:01:00.006-03:00

The Big I Am (2010)
Starring: Leo Gregory; Vincent Regan; Michael Madsen; Robert Fucilla; Steven Berkoff; Paul Kaye; Beatrice Rosen; MC Harvey.
Directed by: Nic Auerbach.
Colour/105 Minutes/R

Leo Gregory is Skinner, a down-on-his-luck petty criminal, who in an unlikely twist of fate finds himself saving the life of one of the top London crime bosses, named Barber (Vincent Regan...who is such a dead ringer for Gerard Butler that I thought it was him for a second). Barber is on the brink of closing a huge human trafficking deal, but rival gangsters are out for blood. He decides to go into hiding and put Skinner on his throne as a stand-in/decoy. But just as Skinner gets caught up in the thrill of his new found power, he finds he's really in over his head. Barber's woman is throwing herself at him, the rival gangsters are taking shots at him, and can the American gangster and partner of Barber's, Martell (Michael Madsen), be trusted? Hell, even the unhinged Barber seems to often be on the verge of capping Skinner as well. Imagine a cliche-ridden, lower budget rip-off of the Guy Ritchie-style British crime film, and that's pretty much what you get from The Big I Am. Poorly paced from the get-go, and the plot is fairly implausible even for this style of Brit gangster film. The actors are fine (even Robert Fucilla, who produced this film as a way to launch himself into an acting career, does okay) but they have pretty much zero content in the script to work with. My guess is that Michael Madsen's scenes were largely improvised by him -- especially his odd-ball, bloody, death scene on a piano, that pretty much comes out of nowhere. When Madsen slumming for five minutes of screen time is the best thing in your film, you might want to rethink what you're doing. Avoid. Abort.

The Bleeding (2009)
Starring: Michael Matthias; Michael Madsen; Vinnie Jones; Armand Assante; DMX; Katherine von Drachenberg; Rachelle Leah.
Directed by: Charlie Picerni.
Colour/83 Minutes/R

What is the plot of this film? I really couldn't say for sure. It's loosely a very low rent Blade and Fast and the Furious rip-off, with vampires and guns and vampire hunting, starring Michael Matthias as vampire hunter Shawn Black. He's perhaps the worst possible choice for a lead actor in a direct-to-video action film one could hope to find. He is the living embodiment of what would happen if Vin Diesel suffered massive brain damage in an accident, and had to work in low budget films to pay off the medical bills. The only thing I can think of that got him the job is that he held the director's family hostage somewhere in Mexico, and was mailing their fingers to him one-by-one until his demands were met. Actually, I guess he's a producer on this film, so there you go. It wasn't his horrible lack of acting talent that got him the gig, that's for sure. Said lack of talent is highlighted by a horribly written story, with crappy characters, bad effects, shitty editing, and a plot that may very well make sense, but I'm hard pressed to believe anyone could stand watching closely enough to understand it. Guys like Vinnie Jones as king of the vampires, and Michael Madsen as a gun-toting priest, can't even begin to carry this film. I think Armand Assante has just about given up on acting and life in general. I wish DMX would. The female leads do no better. Rachelle Leah is a UFC ring girl. Not that that would mean she's automatically a horrible actress, but yeah, I don't see a future for her in film unless she's willing to get naked. As for Kat Von D? Hell, I don't even want to see her naked, and she should be lasered off this DVD like an unwanted tattoo. Avoid. Abort.

Capsule Film Reviews #64: Zombies, Zombies, Zombies! Part 5.

2011-09-01T09:00:00.004-03:00

Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)
Starring: Milla Jovovich; Ali Larter; Kim Coates; Shawn Roberts; Sergio Peris-Mencheta; Spencer Locke; Boris Kodjoe; Wentworth Miller; Sienna Guillory; Kacey Barnfield; Norman Yeung; Fulvio Cecere; Ray Olubowale.
Directed by: Paul W.S. Anderson.
Colour/97 Minutes/R

Milla Jovovich's character Alice (and a shit load of her clones) attempt to wipe out the Japanese headquarters of the evil Umbrella Corporation and kill main baddie Albert Wesker. After apparently killing Wesker and losing her T-Virus powers, she then turns her attention to finding the apparently T-Virus free Arcadia. That turns out to be a myth and she looks for those she left behind from Resident Evil: Extinction, who were already on their way there. Her travels lead her to a group of survivors in Los Angeles, living in an abandoned prison. Outside the prison walls a horde of zombies are digging their way in from underground, and a giant, axe-wielding T-Virus monster, called the Executioner, is making short work of the front gate. Oh, and hey, you didn't think Umbrella and Wesker were down for the count yet did you? After some promising fun in Resident Evil: Extinction, the series goes back to the sewer of excesses that was Resident Evil: Apocalypse. Too much mindless action and throw-away characters are thrown into a badly-plotted and written storyline that ends with one of the worst final battles I can recall. The amount of badly-done CGI in the finale makes me wonder how this film ever made it to theatres. I think part of that was because I was watching effects intended for 3D, but fuck, it looked really bad. And where was the Jovovich nude shower scene? They set it up and never paid off. Bastards. I'm dreading the sequel they managed to set-up. Avoid. Abort.

Night of the Living Dorks (2004)
Starring: Tino Mewes; Manuel Cortez; Thomas Schmieder; Collien Fernandes; Hendrik Borgmann; Nadine Germann; Sissi Perlinger; Henry Gründler; Patricia Thielemann; Oliver Grober.
Directed by: Mathias Dinter.
Colour/89 Minutes/NR

A German horror comedy/parody that is best described as American Pie with zombies. High school nerds turn into zombies and suddenly become popular with their peers. Not horrible I suppose, but not good either. It's apparently being remade for North American movie-goers (although this was first announced four or five years ago, and still nothing has appeared). Do they feel that they can out-raunch the Germans? If so they might have something, because this film is pretty tame. A few amusing moments of comedy, lots of filthy language, some tits, and some okay gore keep things going from point A to point B. Probably the most amusing thing is watching with the English dubbing and the English subtitles on, and seeing how totally different they are from each other. Lost in translation indeed. One might be keen to rent this on a lazy day.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Starring: Sarah Polley; Ving Rhames; Jake Weber; Mekhi Phifer; Ty Burrell; Michael Kelly; Kevin Zegers; Michael Barry; Lindy Booth; Jayne Eastwood; Boyd Banks; Inna Korobkina; R.D. Reid; Kim Poirier; Matt Frewer.
Directed by: Zack Snyder.
Colour/110 Minutes/NR

One day the world wakes up to a viral outbreak that reanimates the recently dead, turning them into vicious flesh-eaters. Shit is hitting the fan, as society is breaking down at an alarming rate. A group of survivors flee to a nearby mall, only to find themselves at the mercy of the rent-a-cops who have already set themselves up there, and soon another group of people join them. They know they can't stay there forever, and now must attempt to work together to find a way out, as the masses of zombies increase outside the walls of their department store prison. Here's one of those remakes that probably sunk the heart of every fan of the original classic. I went into this film expecting to dislike it, but I found myself enjoying it. Even the addition of fast zombies didn't ruin it for me. It fits the more slick, flashy, fast pace of the film. I found the opening effective. Indeed most of our current mass media-polluted culture would ignore late night local TV news warnings, and even warnings on 24-7 news networks. How many outbreaks of new "super" flu have we been desensitized to in recent years? It's background noise during the opening credits. So it both sets the film's back story up and reflects our indifference to it, until it literally bites us in the face. Unlike in the original film, the virus brings the dead back almost instantly, thus there's very little time to react to the situation and it quickly snowballs. It doesn't help that the population is so much larger today than in the 1970s. There's just more people to infect. As it gets going, this film briskly breezes over a lot of the talking points Romero's original brought up, which I think is a wise decision overall, because who can match it? Beyond the opening dig at mass media, this movie is not really interested in pondering racism, commercialism, police brutality, or anything else interesting. Well, there's the zombie baby, but that goes nowhere. The much larger cast kills any real dramatic weight. That's not a major problem because the film focuses on action, gore, and nihilistic, impending doom for the characters, and in that regard it manages to be one of the best of the big budget zombie films of the last ten years or so. Good rental.

Capsule Film Reviews #63: Nic Cage Times Two! Drive Angry and Season of the Witch.

2011-07-30T10:21:00.004-03:00

Drive Angry (2011)
Starring: Nicolas Cage; Amber Heard; William Fichtner; Billy Burke; David Morse; Todd Farmer; Christa Campbell; Charlotte Ross; Tom Atkins.
Directed by: Patrick Lussier.
Colour/104 Minutes/R

Nicolas is an all-around bad ass in the Snake Plissken mold, called Milton. He's back from the dead, escaping from Hell (shown in this film as a large, very hot, prison), on the trail of cult leader -- and Elvis-look-alike -- Jonah King (Billy Burke), and his white trash Satanist followers. They have his granddaughter (his daughter was once a member of the cult until she fled and Jonah killed her) and intends to sacrifice the child during the next full moon in order to open Hell on Earth. A down-on-her-luck waitress called Piper (Amber Heard) joins Milton on his quest after he saves her from her abusive ex-boyfriend. On their trail is "The Accountant" (William Fichtner), a well-dressed soul collector for old Scratch himself, who will not take no for an answer. Drive Angry is an over-the-top and really quite fun mix of genres. It's a lewd, crude, and gory exploitation film; it's a chase movie; it's a western; and it's a supernatural action film. At times it felt like a crazy Joe R. Lansdale story come to life. Nicolas Cage wisely dials himself down in contrast to all the crazy stuff going on around him, and Heard makes for a good side-kick here. The stand-outs are Burke's evil Elvis and Fichtner's Accountant -- the latter having a lot of fun encountering various people and dealing with them as he hunts down Milton. Sometimes you need a film like this to flush out your system. It's nuts, like Shoot 'Em Up and the Crank series. The only real drawback is the wonky CGI (obviously overdone for 3D) which looks like total ass in 2D. Can we put this craze to rest? As always, it's nice to see genre fave Tom Atkins making the most of his bit part here. Good rental.

Season of the Witch (2011)
Starring: Nicolas Cage; Ron Perlman; Stephen Campbell Moore; Stephen Graham; Ulrich Thomsen; Claire Foy; Robert Sheehan; Christopher Lee.
Directed by: Dominic Sena.
Colour/95 Minutes/PG-13

Nicolas Cage and Ron Perlman are Teutonic Knights Behmen and Felson. After growing tired of the horrors they have seen while taking part in the crusades, they desert and head back to Germany. However, as they travel through a plague-ridden Styria (Austria), they are caught. Cardinal D'Ambroise (Christopher Lee) tells them that a young woman (Claire Foy) is a suspected witch, and is the reason for the plague. If the two Knights escort her to a remote monastery, where the monks there know of a ritual than can stop the plague, they will be forgiven for their desertion. Behmen agrees as long as the girl gets a fair trial. Along for the ride are a priest called Debelzeq; an altar boy called Kay; the Knight Eckhart; and their shady guide Hagamar. Is the girl a witch, innocent, or something else altogether? Well, read no further if you don't want it given away. As these men undertake their mission strange things start to happen to them. She appears to have supernatural strength and powers, and the party is killed off one-by-one. This is a men-on-a-mission film with a dash of demonic possession thrown in, and it partly feels like a throwback to classic Hammer films, much like Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow did. However, the film is quite flawed. One can forgive the historical and geographic screw-ups (which there are quite a few), but it's hard to overlook how bored Cage and Perlman look here. I realize both characters are supposed to be world-weary men, but in their cases here it goes beyond method acting. It's the supporting characters that are forced to breath some life into this, and it's an uphill battle. Between the by-the-numbers script and the garbage CGI (those wolves were bloody awful), there's little to get excited about. It's not until the climax, as they fight undead monks, that we really get some fun brewing, but even that is undone by the horrible CGI demon they must face. Who the fuck thought that was a good idea? If you check the special features, there's a much better alternate ending that does away with the CGI demon and much of the wonky CGI effects, giving us a much more creepy and satisfying conclusion. It could be worth checking that out on a rainy day. Okay rental.

Capsule Film Reviews #62: The Eagle; Kill the Irishman.

2011-07-07T11:15:00.005-03:00

The Eagle (2011)
Starring: Channing Tatum; Jamie Bell; Donald Sutherland; Mark Strong; Tahar Rahim; Denis O'Hare; Douglas Henshall.
Directed by: Kevin Macdonald.
Colour/115 Minutes/NR

An adaptation of Rosemary Sutcliff's book The Eagle of the Ninth (1954). Set in 140AD, twenty years after the famed Roman Ninth Spanish Legion was apparently lost in what is now present day Scotland. The son of the last eagle standard bearer of the Ninth -- a young centurion called Marcus Flavius Aquila (Channing Tatum) -- comes to Roman-ruled Britain to serve as a garrison commander. He has dreams of finding the standard and reclaiming it for Rome, restoring honour to his father's name. After Celtic tribesmen attack his garrison he proves himself in battle by winning the day, and is decorated as a hero, but he is badly injured and honorably discharged. Still, he is determined to go past Hadrian's Wall into the untamed Britain of the Picts, with only his British slave Esca (Jamie Bell) as his guide. But can Esca be trusted? The question is put to the test when the two encounter the very tribe of Picts who now hold the eagle standard. There is no solid evidence of the Ninth Legion's actual fate, but films like The Last Legion (2007) took the bare bones of the story and proposed connections between the Legion survivors and the roots of Arthurian legend. Neil Marshall's Centurion (2010) turns the aftermath of its destruction into a chase film for a handful of weary survivors and ends with a Roman political cover-up. Here the story is turned into a quest mixed with a more detailed look at the peoples and geography of that time. Here we touch on what the Celts and Picts may have been like, and we see the day-to-day toil of a Roman foot soldier defending the border of where the known world once ended. But central is the relationship between master and slave. The movie is a bit more of a slow burn than Centurion, but it too features well-done battle scenes, and it is thankfully light on CGI effects. Channing Tatum is sadly a bit wooden and uninteresting in the lead, and I had no interest in his quest. It was Jamie Bell's Esca, whose conflict of loyalty between his people and to his master, that really hit the right dramatic notes. This movie would also pair well with Centurion in a double feature. Good rental.

Kill the Irishman (2011)
Starring: Ray Stevenson; Vincent D'Onofrio; Val Kilmer; Christopher Walken; Linda Cardellini; Tony Darrow; Robert Davi; Fionnula Flanagan; Bob Gunton; Jason Butler Harner; Vinnie Jones; Tony Lo Bianco; Laura Ramsey.
Directed by: Jonathan Hensleigh.
Colour/106 Minutes/R

Adapted from the book To Kill the Irishman: The War That Crippled the Mafia (1998) by Rick Porrello. A direct-to-video, dramatised biopic of real life Irish gangster and FBI informant Danny Greene (Ray Stevenson), who rose quickly through the 1970s Cleveland underworld becoming both a mob boss and a legend with much of the local population as a Robin Hood type figure. The film follows him from his start in the shipyards, to union boss, mob enforcer, and rival of the Italian mobsters he once worked for. The film is briskly paced, and tries to echo the feel of films like Goodfellas and Heat. It manages to keep the viewer interested an unconfused, reminding me of how the two-part biopic of Jacques Mesrine (Mesrine: Part 1 - Killer Instinct; Mesrine: Part 2 - Public Enemy #1) managed to hold its narrative together despite events being glossed over, shown out of sync, or changed for dramatic purposes. The cast is solid, featuring a roll call of past A-listers, and character actors. Stevenson plays Greene larger than life (and indeed to some degree he was), without going over the top. It's nice to see Kilmer and other familiar faces in a DTV film worthy of their talents for once. The film paints Greene in a fairly positive light as a family man and local hero, arguing that his mob war, and his death by the hands of a mob hit man, led to the fall of both the Cleveland mafia and the Cosa Nostra throughout the USA. This is not to say that the film does not shy away from his dark side. He's also shown as being head strong, violent, bigoted, and self-destructive. The film suffers the most from its sometimes shoddy special effects and badly-written moments of sappy character stuff that feel like they were first intended for a TV movie. Not a bad rental.

Beer Cellaring: Opening the Second Bottle of Chimay Grande Réserve.

2011-07-05T07:53:00.006-03:00

In 2009 I made a post called Beer Cellaring: My First Serious Attempt, where I posted a video from my YouTube channel showing me putting three bottles of Chimay Grande Réserve away for aging on June 20 of that year. My plan is to open one bottle per year for three years. On June 20, 2010, I both uploaded to YouTube and posted here the results of the first bottle I'd opened: Beer Cellaring: Opening the First Bottle of Chimay Grande Réserve. Now, in the above video, I opened up the second bottle and documented the results. There were some nice changes to the beer, which makes me excited to get the next 340 or so days over with so I can open the third and final bottle.

I realize that the beer side of this blog has been lacking quite a bit. Sorry about that. I'm hoping to play catch-up this summer with my reviews (I have a huge backlog to write).

Capsule Film Reviews #61: The Long Good Friday, Mona Lisa, Gangster No.1, The Night Listener, Jason X, The Three Burials of...

2011-06-27T10:18:00.012-03:00

The Long Good Friday (1980)
Starring: Bob Hoskins; Helen Mirren; Derek Thompson; Bryan Marshall; Eddie Constantine.
Directed by: John Mackenzie.
Colour/114 Minutes/R

The top gangster in London (Hoskins) wants to go legit and become a more proper businessman. He is about to broker the big deal with the American mafia that will set him on that course on a day where his empire is suddenly being destroyed around him via bombings and hits put out on his men. The best gangster film I've ever seen, Brit or otherwise. I've never really rated Bob Hoskins that much until I finally got a chance to see this. Shit, is he great in this. A mad-dog, tough as nails guy, that beat his way to the top through the 1970s, finds himself up against an enemy he doesn't understand (the IRA) in a new era that is quickly leaving him behind. They can't be frightened and they can't be bought. Helen Mirren is also really good as Hoskins' smart and attractive moll -- apparently the part was originally written as a typical dumb gangster moll, but Mirren refused to play the character dumb, so they had to do a rewrite. Anyway, this instantly goes on my favourites list. No question. So many great moments, including choice quotes and the especially poignant final shot, where Hoskins silently comes to terms with his situation. Worth owning.

Mona Lisa (1986)
Starring: Bob Hoskins; Cathy Tyson; Michael Caine; Robbie Coltrane; Clarke Peters; Kate Hardie; Zoë Nathenson; Sammi Davis.
Directed by: Neil Jordan.
Colour/104 Minutes/R

Another British gangster film with Bob Hoskins. As opposed to the earlier The Long Good Friday, here he's just a low-level soldier in the mob rather than the head guy, and he's just out of prison, looking for a job, unaware of just how much has changed since he went away. Michael Caine plays the head of the mob, and he owes Hoskin's character, so he gives him an easy job of driving around one of his high-class hookers. A tense early relationship between the two develops into something much deeper. That's all I'll give away. The film goes in some unexpected directions for sure. Some damn great performances, and good film overall, even if the ending is a bit too tidy and "happy" given the genre. Provides a good balance to The Long Good Friday. Rent this sucker at the very least.

Gangster No.1 (2000)
Starring: Malcolm McDowell; David Thewlis; Paul Bettany; Saffron Burrows; Kenneth Cranham; Jamie Foreman; Eddie Marsan; Andrew Lincoln; Doug Allen; Razaaq Adoti; Cavan Clerkin.
Directed by: Paul McGuigan.
Colour/103 Minutes/R

Brit gangster film. Malcolm McDowell plays a mob boss. He gets word of his former boss getting out of prison after nearly 30 years, and as he prepares to confront him, he recalls, in flashback, his rise in the mob when his former boss first took him in. We see how McDowell's character eventually set into motion the events that put his boss in prison and McDowell on the criminal throne. A bit of style over substance, but not as guilty as Guy Ritchie is. Paul Bettany plays McDowell's younger self. At first it's sort of odd because they don't look alike at all, but I think the point was that McDowell is viewing an idealized version of himself in his flashbacks. His character is very vain and totally obsessed with being his boss, played by David Thewlis, who unlike McDowell, is handsome and stylish and high class. There is almost a subtle homoerotic tone to the obsession, but sex doesn't seem to interest him, just being "No.1". A very interesting film. Not as good as The Long Good Friday, but it's more akin to Sexy Beast anyway (although, again, not as good), what with all the times "cunt" is said in the course of the film. Worth renting if you want something a bit different in your gangster picture.

The Night Listener (2006)
Starring: Robin Williams; Toni Collette; Joe Morton; Bobby Cannavale; Rory Culkin; Sandra Oh.
Directed by: Patrick Stettner.
Colour/91 Minutes/R

A homosexual late night radio talkshow host, Gabriel Noone (Robin Williams), just fresh from a broken relationship, starts up a phone friendship with a young boy named Pete (Rory Culkin) who has AIDS, and his caretaker, Donna (Toni Collette). Pete has apparently written a great book about his story and Noone wants to use his story in his show, but he also wants the friendship to work, just so he'll have something meaningful to hold on to. However, questions arise about Pete's identity. Is he really who he says he is? Does he even exist? Willaims finds himself thrust into a mystery that puts his own life in danger as he tries to track Pete down. This is a pseudo Hitchcock sort of film, with lots of twists and turns. I can't say I was really kept guessing about Pete, or that many of the twists surprised me all that much, but Williams and Collette really do a great job in their roles. I totally bought both of their characters. The movie itself just wasn't able to totally live up to said performances, for me when it was all said and done. Worth a rental on a lazy day.

Jason X (2001)
Starring: Lexa Doig; Lisa Ryder; Chuck Campbell; Jonathan Potts; Peter Mensah; Melyssa Ade; Melody Johnson; Philip Williams; Derwin Jordan; Dov Tiefenbach; Kane Hodder; David Cronenberg; Boyd Banks; Kristi Angus.
Directed by: James Isaac.
Colour/91 Minutes/R

Finally, a Friday The 13th sequel that gets what the long-running series has become. "Jason in Space", boys and girls. Somehow the franchise would go on to survive this. Jason is unfrozen 400 years into the future where he decides he's still keen with the killing and such. And hey, here's a space station full of horny teens and space marines. They seem to skip parts 6-9 because Jason is not in zombie mode. We get a bit of the usual Jason comes back and wipes out some young flesh. Then some hot, female android, without nipples, kills him. Nanobots rebuild him as a cyborg. Who in their right mind keeps those damn things around? It never works out for the best. He goes on with the killing thing again. This movie is pretty much in on the joke. Yes, the whole idea is silly, so they have some fun with it. The VR Camp Crystal lake: that was a great idea. The tough-as-nails space marine's great one line he has. Funny stuff for fans of the series. Okay action, skin, mildly good special effects, no brains or character development to worry about. David Cronenberg bit part! Not the best Jason flick, but much more fun than it had any right to be. I'm just glad they have yet to make Friday the 13th 11: Jason in The Hood. Oh wait, that was Part 8, wasn't it? Fuck. Fun rental.

The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (2005)
Starring: Tommy Lee Jones; Barry Pepper; Julio Cedillo; Dwight Yoakam; January Jones; Melissa Leo; Levon Helm; Mel Rodriguez; Cecilia Suárez; Ignacio Guadalupe; Vanessa Bauche; Irineo Alvarez.
Directed by: Tommy Lee Jones.
Colour/121 Minutes/R

Tommy Lee Jones plays an old style cowboy/ranch hand named Pete Perkins -- a very reserved loner that doesn't relate much with the modern world -- who sets out to live up to his promise to pretty much his one and only friend: an illegal Mexican immigrant named Melquiades Estrada. That promise was to bury him in his home town back in Mexico. The only problem is that Estrada was killed in an accident by a young, trigger-happy Border Patrolman called Mike Norton. The local Sheriff (Dwight Yoakam) doesn't think too much about causing a big scene, thus he has no intrest in arresting Norton. He calls the case closed and has Estrada buried. Perkins takes the law into his own hands and kidnaps Norton, has him dig up Estrada, and rides off with him and the body on hoseback, setting out to Mexico in order to fulfill his promise to his friend. The film was directed by Tommy Lee Jones and it starts off almost like it's going to be a Clint Eastwood-type drama, but it evolves from that and goes off into more of a brutal Sam Peckinpah sort of direction, as it gets more morbid. Perkins calmly puts Norton through hell on a daily basis, while spending his nights talking to the rotting corpse of his dead friend (well, when he's not trying to keep the ants off of him) with equal calm. The final act takes a more introspective turn. None of the characters are one-dimensional, and the movie touches on man's inhumanity to man, touching also on racism, marital relations gone sour, and fathers and sons. There were some weak bits about Norton's wife that seemed tacked-on, but all in all this is a really effective low-key story, highlighted by quirky character moments and morbid sights that are also somewhat funny. Take the scene where Perkins sets the corpse of Estrada on fire in order to get rid of a few ants. It was dark, funny, and sweet all at the same time. Worthy Rental.

James Arness RIP.

2011-06-04T11:43:00.004-03:00

James Arness
May 26, 1923 -- June 3, 2011

Selected Filmography:

The Thing From Another World (1951)
Them! (1954)

Capsule Film Reviews #60: The Inheritance; Black Death; Damned by Dawn.

2011-05-30T08:11:00.010-03:00

The Inheritance (2011)
Starring: Rochelle Aytes; Golden Brooks; Janae Burney; Keith David; André De Shields; Demetrius Grosse; Darrin Dewitt Henson; Shawn Michael Howard; Lanre Idewu; Adriane Lenox.
Directed by: Robert O'Hara.
Colour/90 Minutes/NR

A group of black young adults come together for a family reunion of sorts at the isolated home of Uncle Melvin (Keith David). Although not cousins by blood, they all come from five families who were slaves at the same plantation and have stayed very close through the generations. They think they are there to receive inheritances from the family elders. It quickly becomes clear that not everything is what it seems. They learn of their ancestors strange association with an African witchdoctor of sorts named Chakabazz, and the dark price they may have paid to him to be free. Soon they find themselves becoming part of a horrible blood rite that none of them may survive. Marketed as a "black movie", at least in the venues it was mostly shown, about 98% of the cast is black (the sole token white couple are dispatched quickly after cracking some stereotypical black jokes and having sex). But really the film is not so much a black movie as it is a typical occult flick mixed with some slasher elements. The window dressing does have its roots firmly in African pagan culture, but does that really make it a black movie? At any rate, it does add a different flavour to the thing, especially an opening montage that establishes (what we eventually learn is) the back story for this film. Sadly, after a nice set up, the film blows its wad far too quickly. Had they drawn out the story a bit more and not laid all of their cards on the table within the first hour, the film would have been much more effective. Instead the film breaks down into several chase scenes and our main characters doing a lot of stupid things while screaming. How a group of young and fit adults are unable to handle a bunch of over-the-hill occultists is beyond me. The suspension of disbelief took a major nose-dive for me because of that. Yeah, I get it. At first they are creeped-out and scared, but after they decide to pull together and fight back, they are, well, just REALLY bad at it. And by that point the film just ends. It seems like they couldn't think up anything interesting. Still, the film does have some nice atmosphere, good acting, and some nice visual touches, like the flesh-words on the window gag...although that makes me wonder why Chakabazz seems to prefer using and speaking English when he's obviously not too keen about whitey. Oh well. Worth a rental on a slow night.

Black Death (2010)
Starring: Sean Bean; Eddie Redmayne; Carice van Houten; David Warner; Kimberley Nixon; John Lynch; Tim McInnerny; Andy Nyman; Emun Elliott; Johnny Harris; Tygo Gernandt.
Directed by: Christopher Smith.
Colour/97 Minutes/R

In 1348 the first outbreak of bubonic plague is happening in England. It's widely assumed by the Church and the general population that this is punishment from the Christian God for their sins. Some even say that demons walks the countryside, spreading the disease. However there are towns that are rumoured to be plague-free. A group of mercenaries, led by a knight called Ulric (Sean Bean), is tasked with finding one such place (where it is also said that the dead are being brought back to life because of a necromancer) and either finding a cure, or perhaps stopping the plague by killing the necromancer. A young monk called Osmund (Eddie Redmayne) volunteers as a guide both because he knows the area (a large forest and marsh separate the town) and because he hopes to escape and reunite with his lover, who has recently fled to that area. After fighting savages in the woods, and crossing the marsh, they find the village. The people are happy and disease free...and they seem quite without Christian faith of any sort. Is the village leader, Langiva (Carice van Houten), the necromancer they are seeking? Black Death is a really nice little film that would pair well with Neil Marshall's recent Centurion (2010), or Nicolas Winding Refn's Valhalla Rising (2009). Fairly well-written, with good actors who manage to carve out their characters quickly while keeping the story moving. The film wisely keeps you guessing if there really is anything supernatural going on or not. Much like Valhalla Rising (or, for you more experienced horror fans, perhaps more akin to The Wicker Man), there is a clash between Christian and Pagan beliefs here. The dangers of religion turning men to evil is explored on both sides, but the film is indeed more critical of the Christian faith, as we see witch-finders attempting to burn a suspected witch and our heroes looking to kill those not of their faith. The Pagans are more or less only killing in order to keep themselves isolated and safe from the plague. Gory and tough at times, the film never lulls and it brings up some good points. It also has a fairly downbeat but realistic ending. A very worthy rental.

Damned by Dawn (2009)
Starring: Renee Willner; Bridget Neval; Dawn Klingberg; Danny Alder; Taryn Eva; Mark Taylor; Peter Stratford.
Directed by: Brett Anstey.
Colour/81 Minutes/R

Set in Australia, a young woman named Clair, and her boyfriend Paul, return to her family home after receiving a strange package from her dying grandmother. After reuniting with the family (her much younger sister and her father are still at home, caring for the ailing Nana), they settle down for the night only to hear the wailing screams of a woman coming from somewhere in the surrounding woods. Could this "lady of sorrows" Clair's grandmother warned of -- a banshee -- be coming to ferry Nana off to her final reward? It seems so, and a spooked Clair freaks out and manages to prevent the banshee from doing her job that night, which unfortunately unleashes some much more malevolent spirits, who are out to kill the whole family. Damned by Dawn is another one of those frustrating direct-to-video horror films that starts out with a lot of promise, but never manage to follow through. The set-up is well done, the acting is fairly good, and it's not every day you get to see a banshee film. Now if we could only have a good one. Damned by Dawn builds some good atmosphere at first. The wailing screams coming from the misty woods, at first sort of silent and far off, get closer and louder. It's effective. But then we get to see the banshee...far too much of her, to the point where she starts to look like a teenager in decent Halloween costume and nothing more. And the evil spirits that show up? At first these CGI beasties look sort of effective. Skeletal reaper-type things. But the CGI, much like the banshee, becomes over-exposed. The final act is a jumbled mess of chase scenes and nonsense about blood lines that makes no real sense. The movie has tried to promote itself as an Evil Dead sort of film, but it really falls short. The first act was much more akin to a early Hammer horror, and some of the practical gore effects were worthy of a Lucio Fulci film, but sadly the movie can't rise to those levels as a whole. Avoid. Abort.

Film Review: Machete (2010).

2011-05-16T12:03:00.013-03:00

Machete (2010)
Starring: Danny Trejo; Robert De Niro; Jessica Alba; Steven Seagal; Michelle Rodriguez; Jeff Fahey; Cheech Marin; Don Johnson; Shea Whigham; Lindsay Lohan.
Directed by: Ethan Maniquis & Robert Rodriguez.
Colour/105 Minutes/R

Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo), is a former Mexican Federale and all-around badass. Three years previous to when the main story takes place, drug lord Rogelio Torrez (Steven Seagal) kills his wife and daughter, and leaves Machete for dead. However, he survived, and now he finds himself making do as an illegal day labourer in Texas. A shady businessman named Booth (Jeff Fahey) hires him to kill anti-immigrant Senator McLaughlin (Robert De Niro), but really it's a double cross. McLaughlin is slipping in the polls, and a botched assassination attempt by an illegal immigrant is what Booth feels will be a perfect way to get the Senator re-elected. With McLaughlin re-elected, the borders will be walled-up and better controlled, and Booth can continue to run his secret drug smuggling operations he has with Torrez. So Machete is shot and finds himself on the run from Booth's hired killers and a pesky US Immigration agent (Jessica Alba). Along the way he hooks up with his brother: a pot-smoking, gun-slinging Padre, played by Cheech Marin. He also finds himself being protected by the Mexican underground, later becoming a figurehead for a coming conflict with a group of Minutemen-style border vigilantes, with connections to McLaughlin, led by the evil Von Jackson (Don Johnson).

Ever since the fake trailer for Machete was seen as part of the Grindhouse double feature from Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez, fans drooled at the possibility of it, along with the other fake trailers (like Eli Roth's Thankgiving) becoming actual feature length films (the Canadian, fan-made grindhouse trailer, Hobo With a Shotgun, eventually went on to become a 2011 feature length release starring Rutger Hauer). Robert Rodriguez has wanted to make the film in some form since the early 1990s, going so far to write some if not all of the screenplay back then, and to cast bit parts for Trejo in several of his films, as a version of the title character. Danny Trejo is one of the most well recognized character actor/bit players in films today, and probably the most well known Latino example after Luis Guzmán. His lined face and well-muscled, tattoo-covered body, mustache, and tough-guy attitude, along with a solid talent for acting has gained him parts in everything from top of the line blockbusters to low budget, direct to video trash.

Finally he gets his own film, and he does not let the fans down. More importantly he manages to carry a sometimes jumbled mess of a film with a gritty, minimalist, and often funny performance. There's just a lot of good feelings generated being a cult film fan and seeing Trejo violently hack and slash his way through the bad guys, charming the ladies, and generally making the best out of being in his own starring vehicle. Michelle Rodriguez, as the head of the Mexican underground, and the already mentioned Cheech Marin, provide good supporting roles. Jeff Fahey, Steven Seagal, Robert De Niro and Don Johnson each provide good, different degrees of scenery-chewing villainy. Fahey especially steals every scene he's in, no matter if he's shooting people or trying to hold his family life together (Lindsay Lohan plays his slutty, party girl daughter, making a bit of fun of her real life image). Steven Seagal is never going to be accused of being a great actor, but his first-ever turn as a full-on baddie works quite well, and De Niro plays his campy corrupt senator note-perfect. Don Johnson's redneck heavy is easy to loath. Even Tom Savini has a fun, small role, as a pro hit man. Perhaps the only real weak lead here is Alba, who is an ineffectual push-over and just doesn't seem to fit her role at all...and what the hell is with her semi-nudity being CGIed in here? Crazy, man. Oh well, she stopped being hot after Idle Hands anyway.

The strength of the Machete trailer was obvious: it featured all of the best parts of the (then) fake film. These scenes, including some of the featured actors, were later put in the finished film. This left Rodriguez with the hefty task of filming all the filler and coming up with some stuff to either top or equal the previously existing footage. Sometimes he manages quite well. There's lots of blood, babes and bad-ass lines to be found. It sort of has that anything goes grindhouse feel to it. Sadly, it also does have something typical of a lot of the '70s exploitation this film borrows from: scenes of heavy-handed exposition and lulls between the action, where the plot becomes far too complicated for its own good. The very topical immigration issue is shoe-horned in here, and it becomes annoying, even though it's obvious that Rodriguez is poking fun at both sides of the issue. Still, seeing Machete leading fleet of illegals in comically bumping low riders doesn't feel right at all for this film. This leads to a finale that is mostly taken up by buffoonish stereotypes killing each other, and is not saved until Machete and Torrez have their final duel (which should have been the real focus of the film, had they really wanted to stay true to this film's cinematic roots).

It's a bit of a let down considering how perfect the first half of this film is in its tone, but that being said, it wasn't a deal-breaker for me. It just feels like this sort of finale would be a perfect fit for a lesser third entry in an exploitation series (Shaft in Africa, anyone?). And yeah, there are already two sequels planned for this, which makes me question where they can go now that Machete has led the revolution to victory? Flawed, but overall quite fun, Machete is a good rental, and worth owning if you are into Rodriguez, Trejo and exploitation awesomeness. Hey, I like all three of those things.

Film Review: Let Me In.

2011-05-10T10:02:00.007-03:00

Let Me In (2010)
Starring: Kodi Smit-McPhee; Chloe Moretz; Richard Jenkins; Cara Buono; Elias Koteas; Sasha Barrese; Dylan Kenin; Chris Browning; Ritchie Coster; Dylan Minnette; Jimmy 'Jax' Pinchak; Nicolai Dorian.
Directed by: Matt Reeves.
Colour/116 Minutes/R

Remakes are now just something you have to accept, I guess. Well, their existence and staying power in the industry, at least. Some may never accept the need for them, even if they are good films. It's interesting how many actually are good these days. Some (The Hills Have Eyes, 2006) even improve on the original film. Let Me In, North American remake of the Swedish modern vampire classic Let the Right One In, does not improve much on the original, but it does not disgrace itself either.

A slightly tweaked copy, slightly toned-down in subject matter, slightly less weird as the Euro original. You know the original, correct? A young, lonely boy, and victim of intense bullying, called Oskar, befriends a young girl, called Eli, that moves into his apartment complex, with a man seemingly much too old to be her father. He soon discovers she's a vampire, and they become friends, eventually falling in love. It was both a heart-warming and creepy film. Strange and lonely characters populate a small, isolated, and snowed-in early '80s Swedish town, that is about to become much less quiet than usual. Here the story is set in America, and it's Owen and Abby. Let Me In manages to capture much of the same atmosphere (here in 1983-era Los Alamos, New Mexico) effectively, and it does flesh out the story of the vampire girl's familiar, thus making Owen's ultimate fate much more obvious and horrible.

The real improvement on the original is the focus on Abby's familiar Thomas (Richard Jenkins), and the un-named homicide detective investigating the murders both Abby and Thomas have been committing (Elias Koteas). Thomas and the detective's stories could make for a good film on their own. Really, here I found the heart of this film was not the young couple's love story but the decline of Thomas as a familiar, and the horrible end of the tired detective, who while not a villain, is a threat to our young heroes that must be done away with. Unlike Thomas who meets his end because he can no longer do his job, the detective does his job too well and passes beyond a point he can't come back from, encountering something worse than just a serial killer. The film looks good, it's effectively acted, and it's essentially pointless, but it's also not offensive in the least. The recreation of the pool scene is still quite effective here. I expected something really bad coming into this, but instead it's a good little horror film. It's no wonder the resurrected Hammer Films decided to acquire the rights to this one. Worth renting.

Capsule Film Reviews #59: Don McKay and The Tourist (2010).

2011-05-09T13:12:00.008-03:00

Don McKay (2009)
Starring: Thomas Haden Church; Elisabeth Shue; Melissa Leo; James Rebhorn; Keith David; M. Emmet Walsh.
Directed by: Jake Goldberger.
Colour/87 Minutes/R

A going nowhere, lonely high school janitor Don McKay (Thomas Haden Church) receives a letter from a former high school sweetheart of his, called Sonny (Elisabeth Shue). Sonny claims she is dying and wants to see him. He makes the trip back to his home town -- a place he left behind years ago after being a suspect in a murder. When he arrives everything is weird from the get-go. Sonny's care-giver obviously does not approve of Don, and the same goes for her doctor, the latter of which seems a bit too firendly with Sonny. In fact, her doctor attacks Don and is killed in the struggle. Don panics and tries his best to hide the body. After enlisting the help of an old friend in Otis (Keith David) to dispose of the body, he finds it has been moved. It seems somebody, if not everybody, is not what they seem here. Don McKay is such a low-key film at first, that the crazy, almost outlandish noir twists that come in the second half of the film are like a slap in the face. The dark comedy elements and the minimalism almost come off like Coen brother's light (of course, having M. Emmet Walsh of Blood Simple in a small role here might have triggered that feeling for me). Thomas Haden Church plays Don so cold that one wonders if he's even breathing, and it seems for the longest time that both the film and the character are in a stasis lock, but those who give Don McKay a chance will find everything fall into place after a series of revealing twists, double-crosses, and shocking violence. Church's seemingly odd performance is actually note-perfect when one discovers the main players secrets, including Don's. I think the pacing could have been better, but in the end I liked Don McKay a lot despite this issue. If anything, the film at least has the best use of a track from an obscure soul group (The Topics) in recent memory. Worth renting.

The Tourist (2010)
Starring: Johnny Depp; Angelina Jolie; Paul Bettany; Timothy Dalton; Steven Berkoff; Rufus Sewell; Christian De Sica; Alessio Boni.
Directed by: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck.
Colour/103 Minutes/PG-13

Angelina Jolie is Elise, the sexy and smart femme fatale and lover of an elusive thief Alexander Pearce, who has stolen a very large sum of money from a British mob boss. Scotland Yard, French police, and the mob boss himself are after Elise in order to get to Pearce, as their believe he has changed his appearance and identity: everything from his looks right down to his voice and accent. Pearce contacts Elise and instructs her to find and hook-up with a stranger who looks enough like him, with the intent of using him as a decoy to throw the law off their trails. Enter Frank (Johnny Depp), an American tourist, who is pulled into this game, partly because he loves spy thrillers, and mostly because he quickly becomes smitten with Elise. From there the two of them form a bond as they go on the run together, Elise first intending to coldly leave Frank to the mercy of law, or worse, at the correct time, now finds she can't bring herself to do that, and comes clean to him. Frank seems determined to win Elise's love. Part thriller, part romantic comedy, and in the end an annoying failure, The Tourist is one of the most anger-inducing shaggy dog stories I've had the displeasure of watching. Here's the plot twist for you, so you can avoid this abortion: Frank is Pearce. See? Do you see how awful that is? The movie lies to the viewer. It outright insults the viewer. It presents to us an entertaining little action thrill romp, with two A-list, sexy leads (Jolie looks better and better as she ages), flirting, escaping danger, and generally having a good time, and then pulls the rug out from under our feet. You can't do this. You can't play it one way and do a 180, when you've previously established scenes between the characters that after the reveal make no sense. You can't have scenes of Depp's character alone, playing a mild-mannered tourist in-over-his-head (scenes where he had no need to fool anyone into thinking he really was Frank), and then in the end expect us to believe he's this sly mastermind thief. And Elise seems far too smart to have not recognized Pearce in Frank well before the end of the film. You know, having Elise dump Pearce for Frank wouldn't have been a bad ending. At least the film would have worked. Avoid. Abort.

Capsule Film Reviews #58: A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010), 2:22, and Give'em Hell Malone.

2011-05-03T06:51:00.004-03:00

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)
Starring: Jackie Earle Haley; Kyle Gallner; Rooney Mara; Katie Cassidy; Thomas Dekker; Kellan Lutz; Clancy Brown; Connie Britton.
Directed by: Samuel Bayer.
Colour/95 Minutes/R

A groups of teenagers are being stalked and murdered in their dreams by a creepy man with burnt skin, wearing a red and green sweater, a fedora, and sporting a glove with blades on the fingers. One of the teens, Nancy (Rooney Mara), soon discovers there's a connection between the deaths and a long dead gardener at the preschool all of the victims attended, a man named Fred Krueger (Jackie Earle Haley). Sometimes remakes don't work, and that's the case here. To compare this Freddy with Robert Englund's signature role, is unfair, but who isn't going to? Haley tries his best to come off as more of a creepy pedophile version of Freddy (they decided to go with Wes Craven's original intention, rather than the eventual -- and less offensive -- child killer they settled for with the classic Freddy). The choice of making his burns look realistic instead of the stylised burnt skin of the classic Freddy was an interesting choice, and indeed it makes Freddy seem to be a more realistic ghoul than the wise-cracking freak of the latter Nightmare sequels. But I had many of the same feelings with this film as I did with the Halloween remakes. This film would have worked much better if they had transferred some of the elements here into an original film and not a remake. Freddy isn't the first or last movie monster to kill people in their dreams, so they could have gotten away with it. Well, maybe, if they had provided some victims and a final girl that I could give a crap about. But the sons and daughters of the people who killed Freddy many years ago are cardboard cut-outs, better suited to one of those awful Nightmare sequels I mentioned. The movie almost saved itself by teasing an interesting spin to the Elm Street mythos. What if Freddy was wrongly lynched? For a while the film casts doubts on if Freddy actually did what he was burned to death for, but the film didn't have the balls to go somewhere different and unsafe. No, let's give the viewer the familiar good vs. evil thing, and maybe wrap it up with a twist ending. Boring. Avoid. Abort.

2:22 (2008)
Starring: Mick Rossi; Robert Miano; Aaron Gallagher; Jorge A. Jimenez; Peter Dobson; Val Kilmer; Bruce Kirby; Sile Bermingham.
Directed by: Phillip Guzman.
Colour/104 Minutes/R

In this low budget Canadian indie heist film, a tight crew of thieves rob a swank New York hotel. The 2:22 of the title is the exact time they start the job, for whatever reason. Of course, all the standard bad things manage to happen to them after pulling off the job. Rival criminals, cops, and strained loyalty within the crew. It's just as bad as every other bad rip-off of Heat, minus the other side of that film, that dealt with the life of the cop tracking the thieves down. Let's not even get started on the various subplots that make no sense and add nothing to the film as a whole, or the anti-climatic ending. Kilmer is all over the cover art, but is in this for about five minutes, playing a paranoid fence for the crew's spoils. I'll give him credit though. He actually tries to earn his quick paycheck here. It makes me wonder, just who is the current king of fallen-from-grace to direct-to-video stardom? Kilmer? Madsen? Cuba Gooding Jr.? Just when will Nick Cage finally drop down to that level? It can't be far off, I think. Gabriel Byrne is also in this for an even smaller cameo role as the detective tracking the crew down. He obviously didn't want to be there at all, as he adds nothing to the film. Avoid. Abort.

Give'em Hell Malone (2009)
Starring: Thomas Jane; Ving Rhames; Elsa Pataky; French Stewart; Leland Orser; Chris Yen; William Abadie; Gregory Harrison; Doug Hutchison; Eileen Ryan; David Andriole.
Directed by: Russell Mulcahy.
Colour/96 Minutes/R

Thomas Jane is Malone: a ex-private detective who has become a gun-for-hire after his wife and family was gunned down. He's almost a mythical bad ass within the world he exists. After what was to be a simple retrieval job of a suitcase (a McGuffin) turns out to be a double-cross, that ends in a major bloodbath, Malone keeps the suitcase and begins to hunt down his employer and find out what the deal is. Of course, he runs into other seedy and mysterious characters along the way, some or all of which possibly wanting Malone dead. There's the crime boss (Gregory Harrison), the ex-partner turned mob heavy (Ving Rhames), the psycho firebug (Doug Hutchison), and the femme fatale (Elsa Pataky). A strange film. Like in 2005's Brick, the characters talk and act as if they were stuck in a 1940's noir flick, although it's obviously set in the present day. The action is so stylized, violent, comic book, and generally over-the-top, that one thinks the film is going for a Sin City or even Shoot 'em Up feel to it, but then at times it feels as if they are trying to play it straight. It's a confusing balance problem that derailed the film for me a bit. To the film's credit it never stops to take a breath, and Jane and Rhames do well in their roles. But the different pieces never really fit together. The villains are lame ducks (Matchstick is pretty much a poor-man's Joker), and Elsa Pataky's female lead is a femme one wants to see become fatal sooner than later. Might be a worth a rental risk on a slow night.

Double Feature Review: Mesrine: Part 1 - Killer Instinct and Mesrine: Part 2 - Public Enemy #1.

2011-04-25T16:54:00.006-03:00

Mesrine: Part 1 - Killer Instinct (2008)
Starring: Vincent Cassel; Cécile De France; Gérard Depardieu; Gilles Lellouche; Roy Dupuis; Elena Anaya; Florence Thomassin; Michel Duchaussoy; Myriam Boyer; Abdelhafid Metalsi; Gilbert Sicotte; Deano Clavet.
Directed by: Jean-François Richet
Colour/113 Minutes/R

Vincent Cassel plays real-life French bank robber, burglar, kidnapper, and murderer Jacques Mesrine. This first part of a two-part bio pic is based on Mesrine's own autobiography, and follows a somewhat fictionalized account of his development into a psycho, from his brutal beginnings in the French army during the Algerian War, moving his way up as a French gangster under a mob boss played by Gérard Depardieu, all the way to international fugitive and association with the French Canadian left-wing nationalist paramilitary group FLQ (Front de libération du Québec).

Cassel's impressive performance keeps you watching, even though the film is slightly episodic. It essentially hits major turning points in his life, including crimes and relationships with fellow criminals and women (sometimes these were one in the same...and most were not long for this world). Mesrine was a piece of shit, but he had enough charm to sway many into thinking of him as some sort of heroic rebel and modern Robin Hood type, and Cassel manages to keep you interested in watching this maniac do horrible things. You don't get to know much about Mesrine personally -- just that he was obviously a nutcase, somewhat of an alpha male (he always attracted women it seems), and a bigot. He was also quite smart, charismatic, clever, tough, and aware of how to manipulate both people he knew, and the public in general. The action highlights here are two well-done prison break sequence near the end, and the film makes you want to see part two to find out how the story concludes. Worthy rental.

Mesrine: Part 2 - Public Enemy #1 (2008)
Starring: Vincent Cassel; Ludivine Sagnier; Mathieu Amalric; Samuel Le Bihan; Gérard Lanvin; Olivier Gourmet; Georges Wilson; Michel Duchaussoy; Anne Consigny; Laure Marsac; Alain Fromager.
Directed by: Jean-François Richet
Colour/133 Minutes/R

Public Enemy #1 picks up right where Killer Instinct ended, as we continue to follow international French criminal Jacques Mesrine. This film is much more disjointed and episodic as it depends more on outside accounts of his later crimes. However, it's also much more action-packed as there's less dramatic filler. We get more FLQ flirtations, a return to France, shoot-outs, bank robberies, escapes from the police, and Mesrine's increasing paranoia and belief in his own media image bullshit. We see how he eventually got to the point where the police gun him down in what may or may have not been a full-on hit, rather than an arrest attempt (the film argues hit).

Like the first film, the picture does not spend a lot of time focused on Mesrine the man, and this film depends on you having watched the first part, in order to really follow what's going on. Aside from the tweaking of the facts, some events being out of order, and the fact that almost all bio pics suffer from some sort of pacing issue, Mesrine is an interesting and well-done gangster film, with a ballsy lead performance from Cassel, in what might go down as his best role ever when it's all said and done. Much like the Kill Bill films, these two parts are really just one large film, thus they are best watched together as a double feature. As with part one, this a worthy (and essential) rental.

Elisabeth Sladen RIP.

2011-04-20T06:38:00.007-03:00

Elisabeth Sladen
February 1, 1948 -- April 19, 2011

Selected Filmography:

Doctor Who (1973-1983; 2006-2010)
K9 and company (1981)
The Sarah Jane Adventures (2007-2010)

Film Review: Halloween 2 (2009).

2011-04-17T22:04:00.013-03:00

Halloween 2 (2009)
Starring: Sheri Moon Zombie; Chase Wright Vanek; Scout Taylor-Compton; Brad Dourif; Caroline Williams; Malcolm McDowell; Tyler Mane; Dayton Callie; Richard Brake; Octavia Spencer; Danielle Harris.
Directed by: Rob Zombie.
Colour/119 Minutes/NR

A year after the events of Halloween (2007), Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) is trying her best to deal with the aftermath of Michael Myers murderous rampage, that left her friends and parents dead (along with many other victims). She's in therapy, and now living with Sheriff Brackett (Brad Dourif), whose daughter Annie (Danielle Harris) also survived that night. Dr. Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) also managed to survive and now has made a name for himself after writing a book about Michael Myers -- a book that essentially is exploiting the deaths of Michael's victims -- and going on tour to promote it. What nobody knows is that Myers survived being shot by Laurie and escaped. Now he's having visions/hallucinations of himself as a child and of his mother Deborah Myers (Sheri Moon Zombie) pushing him to return to Haddonfield to finish what he started. Laurie is also experiencing similar visions, which drive her deeper into depression. After reading Loomis' latest book, Laurie discovers a horrible truth: that she was born Angel Myers, Michael's sister, which causes her to try and escape her depression in a night out with some of her friends. Unknown to her, this of course sets up several new victims in Michael Myers' way, as he returns on that very same night to kill Laurie.

I did not think too highly of Rob Zombie's original remake of Halloween. While I think Zombie has talent, the whole point of remaking Halloween and in the way he did it, seemed pointless beyond a petty cash-grab. Halloween (1978) was more pure horror than it was an exploitation film. Trying to make it the latter was a mistake. Michael Myers' abusive childhood is not interesting to me. Rednecks saying "fuck" every thirty seconds is not interesting to me. Upping the gore and violence does nothing for me when you have nothing interesting to hang the cut meat upon. I guess it all boils down to this: Halloween is a classic film that can't be improved on as a whole. The sequels proved it. Zombie proved it. Let's move on. Well no, money talks, so here we are again. To Zombie's credit, he apparently only took on the directing job here so nobody would further fuck things up too badly. And I'll say it right now: Halloween 2 is a better film than Zombie's original remake because of this. This is especially true if you watch the Director's Cut, which adds 14 minutes of extra footage (along with a slightly different ending).

What is good here? I must admit that taking the plot of the original Halloween 2 (1981) -- where we pick up on the same night the original film ended, now with Myers' stalking a wounded Laurie Strode at the local hospital -- and turning this into a dream sequence, was a fun idea. I was almost fooled. I liked that Zombie really went for something more ghostly and interesting here with the whole Moody Blues Nights in White Satin and the cover of Love Hurts peeking up, and an ethereal Sheri Moon Zombie on a white horse. It's odd, and it never quite comes together, but it was something a bit better than the tired abuse subplot from the first remake. Are Laurie and Michael really seeing the ghost of their dead mother? Are they just both batshit crazy? Such psychic connections were part of the later sequels from the original Halloween films, and like the hospital sequence, it was a nice nod. Also, one must thank Brad Dourif for giving us one character to really root for here. Sheriff Brackett is the real heart of this picture. A common, decent man, stuck now with two traumatized teenaged girls he can't control, and the possibility that the nightmare from a year ago will repeat itself. Dourif manages to hit all the right notes for me. By the end of the film he's the most brutalized victim out of all of that Myers' has touched, because he's still alive to remember. Here Zombie manages to bring out one perfect note of true horror beyond the visceral.

But sadly this film falls from much of the same flaws that pulled down the original remake. Myers and his mommy issues (snore). Too much violence and too much white trash swearing, and an unreal bodycount (I realize that probably half the bodycount was in the dream sequence, but come on). I found Loomis' jerkass turn most distasteful here. I suppose that was the point, but it just feels wrong -- feel free to disagree. And what the hell was with Myers (Tyler Mane) looking like a 7-foot tall homeless Rob Zombie here? Was that some sort of joke? Really, like I said in my review of Zombie's original remake, this has all the elements of a good, modern slasher film here, but as a different film. It's just not Halloween (or Halloween 2 for that matter). I'd actually say this is a slightly better rental than the first remake trainwreck. But what does that really say?

Film Review: Sherlock Holmes (2009).

2011-04-12T13:02:00.008-03:00

Sherlock Holmes (2009)
Starring: Robert Downey Jr.; Jude Law; Rachel McAdams; Mark Strong; Eddie Marsan; Robert Maillet; Geraldine James; Kelly Reilly; William Houston; Hans Matheson; James Fox; William Hope.
Directed by: Guy Ritchie.
Colour/128 Minutes/PG-13

When taking on the task of adapting such beloved characters as the brilliant and eccentric detective Sherlock Holmes and his friend and partner in private investigation, Dr. John Watson, you run the risk of repeating too much of what came before or going wildly too far outside established cannon to the point where things become a disgrace you can't ever apologize for. Well, I think most die hard fans (and I'm one of them) would view it this way. Casual fans are open to reinvention or re-imaging, because they don't know any better. This is true with every beloved work of fiction, no matter what the source. There's an army of dedicated fans out there that want to let you know they have their knives sharpened in case you slip up.

Guy Ritchie jumped into that pool of sharks with this entry in a long line of Sherlock Holmes adaptations. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's original cannon of fifty-six short stories and four novels have been followed by hundreds of adaptations on film, television, stage, in print, on radio, and even in board and video games. Basil Rathbone is the most well-known of the early big screen Holmes, appearing in two films for 20th Century Fox and thirteen others for Universal with Nigel Bruce, who is infamous for playing a much dumbed-down and inept version of Dr. Watson compared to the original stories. Holmes has been parodied in Billy Wilder's The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes (1970). He's been taken much more seriously in such films as 1965's A Study in Terror and 1979's team up of Christopher Plummer and James Mason, Murder by Decree, where the heroic duo hunt for Jack the Ripper. Even Hammer took a stab in The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959), where my personal favourite Holmes was played by Peter Cushing.

Some of the more adventurous adaptations have seen Holmes and Watson as schoolboys pitted against Holmes' fencing instructor, who later goes on to become Holmes' most well-known foe, Moriarty (Young Sherlock Holmes, 1985). In the 1976 film The Seven-Per-Cent Solution, Holmes' hinted at drug problems from the original stories take center stage, as Watson and Sigmund Freud try and treat him for cocaine addiction. Here Sherlock's rivalry with Professor Moriarty is created by his own subconscious in order to deal with childhood trauma. The 1988 film Without a Clue has Ben Kingsley's Dr. Watson as the real detective, hiring a washed-up actor in Michael Caine to stand in as Holmes for the public, as Holmes is merely a fictional creation the doctor has hid behind in the accounts of his adventures. Jeremy Brett played the detective in The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, which was a much loved series of TV adaptations. Each adaptation has its fans and detractors. I'm much more a fan of what fits in with cannon and the general feel of the original stories. I find such nonsense as Young Sherlock Holmes to be stupid.

And so here we are with Guy Ritchie's big, stylish recreation. Holmes and Watson (Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law) investigate a series of occult-related murders connected to one Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong), who appears to have managed to come back from the dead, and is using his dark arts to attempt an overthrow of the British Empire. What do they get right? First off they wisely place this several years into Holmes' and Waston's career together, so they do have cannon to refer to and draw on. Holmes depression and drug addiction and Watson's search for a wife and his gambling problems are touched on. No need for some shitty origin story. And it makes the appearance of Rachel McAdams' Irene Adler (the only woman who has ever out-witted Holmes -- twice) seem like an understandable shock to a Holmes who is deeply in depression and drug addiction at this point. It's too bad it sadly spirals to a typical love interest angle. Watson is becoming more and more annoyed by Holmes and his weird behaviour, and wants to move out to marry the love of his life Mary Morstan. Holmes feels betrayed. And there's the first real missed step: bringing up the gay lovers angle. A common ghost that has haunted both characters, often coming from the minds of the common illiterate dunce, unfamiliar with Victorian social norms, and in full-on homosexual adaptations for years, most being tongue-in-cheek. Oh, it's so cute in this day and age to hint that two men sharing a flat must have been horny for each other. Let's grow up and get over the bromance shall we?

Continuing on, the characterization of Holmes doesn't feel right. Sure, Downey gives a nice performance, but it's not Holmes. Too flamboyant in the wrong ways, and far too pathetic even at his worst moments. And he really doesn't look the part. Too foppy. Sorry, but for me that is important with this character. Jude Law's Watson, while thankfully smart and tough, is also far too lean, and smiles far too much. The villain, Lord Blackwood (come on, really no better name could be thought of?), at least adds in an interesting spin. Does he really have supernatural powers? One would hope not, and part of the fun is having Holmes do away with any such possibility with his cold logic and reason. It's nice that they kept Moriarty in the background here. In somewhat of a retcon by Doyle, he and Holmes waged a secret war in the original stories, with Moriarty only actually meeting Holmes in The Final Problem as a perfect device for killing Holmes off...for a while. Later adaptations helped cement him as one of the greatest fictional villains ever. We'll see how he comes off in the sequel, I'm guessing.

And finally the most obvious flaw: it's a Guy Ritchie film. The entire film is just a bit too slick and bit too action packed. While Holmes could get physical when needed, this Victorian Fight Club shit is just that: shit. It sucks too, because for the first time Guy Ritchie's use of slow-motion, where we get a look at Holmes brain in action, actually feels like a good use of the technique from him. Is it a horrible failure as a Holmes adaptation? No, but it's not a very good one. It is a fun, and often funny action film with touches of mystery, that sadly falls short of what it could have been. Okay rental.

Capsule Film Reviews #57: Predators, The Expendables, and Pig Hunt.

2011-03-25T10:43:00.011-03:00

Continuing to slash through my review queue backlog. I'm thinking two to three more parts before I get back on track.

Predators (2010)
Starring: Adrien Brody; Topher Grace; Alice Braga; Walton Goggins; Oleg Taktarov; Laurence Fishburne; Danny Trejo; Louis Ozawa Changchien; Mahershalalhashbaz Ali.
Directed by: Nimród Antal.
Colour/107 Minutes/R

A group of assorted mercenaries and other professional killer types (and one odd man out -- a doctor) are dropped on an alien world with no memory of how they got there. After some tense moments between the group, as they are quick to be suspicious of each other, they soon discover they have been abducted and placed on an alien game preserve as prey for everyones favourite race of alien hunters, the Predators. Now they must pull together as they are picked off one by one. As much as I like the original film and the sequel, this is the real sequel to Predator I think most people wanted. It doesn't change up the formula, it doesn't dump on all of this Alien vs Predator mythology bullshit, that has ruined both respective franchises for the true fans for years now. It's fast, brutal, simple and brainless, but not without a few nice little twists and turns of its own. It plays like a lesser remake of the first film but it gets back to the basics that we want: hunters and the hunted. The cast doesn't quite hold up to Arnold Schwarzenegger's original group of tough guys, but who can? The actors all do well with what they are given, and Adrien Brody is good enough an actor that he makes the transition to ass-kicker, and manages to carry the film. Worthy rental.

The Expendables (2010)
Starring: Sylvester Stallone; Jason Statham; Jet Li; Dolph Lundgren; Eric Roberts; Randy Couture; Steve Austin; David Zayas; Giselle Itié; Charisma Carpenter; Gary Daniels; Terry Crews; Mickey Rourke; Bruce Willis.
Directed by: Sylvester Stallone.
Colour/103 Minutes/R

Do we need to know the story here? In real life Stallone pulled together an ensemble group of past and present action movie stars, for this film about Stallone's character putting together a group of mercenaries. The mission? Overthrow one of those stock Latin American dictators with the help of the rebel underground the dictator's daughter is part of. Really the film is an excuse to write a big dumb love letter to the action movie peak of the 80s, which made the careers of many of the cast. So really, this film is designed for a specific fan base. If you have no love for films like First Blood, Cobra, Tango and Cash, Commando, and the like, you'll want to stay away from this. But you already knew that. However, those coming in expecting some sort of perfect combination of all of those films will probably be let down. There's not enough action. I could have used a little more ass-kicking from our band of heroes. But there's a bit too much plot and a bit too much talking. It hurt the pacing for me. I mean, Mickey Rourke's little bit about a dark secret from his past, Dolph Lundgren's drug problems, and Jason Statham defending the honor of his girlfriend were all well done, but they were distracting. Still, when the action comes, it delivers in spades and overall the film is a big, dumb, fun macho buddy film...but it could have been much better. Worth renting.

Pig Hunt (2008)
Starring: Travis Aaron Wade; Tina Huang; Howard Johnson Jr.; Trevor Bullock; Rajiv Shah; Jason Foster; Nick Tagas; Bryonn Bain; Christina McKay; Charlie Musselwhite; Les Claypool.
Directed by: James Isaac.
Colour/99 Minutes/R

A group of friends go for a weekend of pig hunting and relaxation in the middle of redneck nowhere, where they soon run afoul of the locals. However, they discover that possible Deliverance moments turn out to be the least of their worries. They also encounter a murderous hippie-like cult, mostly made up of young women that consider clothing optional, as well as a ton and a half giant man-eating boar they feed and let loose on any unfortunate people who happen to trespass into their territory. Pig Hunt is a bit of a let down. Sure, you've got some pretty decent effects for the actual monster boar, and they wisely keep it off screen for most of the film. And there's the already mentioned naked cult babes. So far, the film seems like it knows what I like. However, I just didn't give a damn about the one-note redneck villains or the one-note main characters, and the film never really delivers on what it promises. At least not enough. The film needed less plot and more giant-boar-killing-idiots action. It needed more lesbian cult bathing scenes. It seems like they were trying too hard to make this film more than the gory Jaws rip-off film this should have been. Worth renting, but only if there's nothing else.

Michael Gough RIP

2011-03-17T17:37:00.005-03:00

Michael Gough
November 23, 1916 -- March 17, 2011

Selected Filmography:

Horror of Dracula (1958)
Horrors of the Black Museum (1959)
The Phantom of the Opera (1962)
Dr. Terror's House of Horrors (1965)
The Skull (1965)
Horror Hospital (1973)
The Boys From Brazil (1978)
Batman (1989)
Sleepy Hollow (1999)

Capsule Film Reviews #56: Toolbox Murders (2004), Dead Birds, Frankenfish, Adam and Evil, and Switch Killer.

2011-03-07T09:45:00.009-04:00

Toolbox Murders (2004)
Starring: Angela Bettis; Brent Roam; Marco Rodriguez; Rance Howard; Juliet Landau; Adam
Gierasch; Greg Travis; Chris Doyle; Adam Weisman
Directed by: Tobe Hooper.
Colour/95 Minutes/R

A young couple, Nell and Steven Barrows (Angela Bettis and Brent Roam), move into a rundown Hollywood hotel called Lusman Arms. The place has a bad history of its residents disappearing. Nell suspects someone or something is lurking in the building and starts to investigate. Not a remake of the original The Toolbox Murders from 1978, but rather Tobe Hooper's re-imaging. More of a gory supernatural mystery with slasher overtones then just a grind house slasher like the original. It reads on paper like a bad idea, but it actually turns out to be a manic and gory ride. This low budgeter is not going to set your world on fire, but the film features a solid cast and a promising return to form for Hopper, whose last really good film was probably Lifeforce from 1985, or the 1986 sequel to The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Sadly this film only received limited release, was cut to get an R rating, and didn't really do anything for his career. Worth renting however.

Dead Birds (2004)
Starring: Henry Thomas; Patrick Fugit; Nicki Aycox; Michael Shannon; Muse Watson; Mark
Boone Junior; Isaiah Washington; Harris Mann; Melanie Abramoff; Donna Biscoe; Brian Bremer.
Directed by: Alex Turner.
Colour/91 Minutes/R

Helped by an escaped slave and an army nurse, a group of Confederate soldiers knock off a bank and attempt to steal a large amount of rebel gold. Things go wrong and they find themselves on the run with the gold. They decided to hold up in an abandoned mansion for the night. The in-fighting between the members of the group soon seems secondary as things begin to go bump in the night. Strange ghosts and monsters appear and start to pick them off. This is a nice little low budget Civil War era haunted house story, with Lovecraftian overtones, and some gory fun. I actually really liked it after I figured out just what the fuck was going on (for the most part). It builds well and delivers the goods in the final third. Worth renting.

Frankenfish (2004)
Starring: Tory Kittles; K.D. Aubert; China Chow; Matthew Rauch; Donna Biscoe; Tomas Arana;
Mark Boone, Jr.; Reggie Lee; Noelle Evans; Richard Edson; Muse Watson.
Directed by: Mark A.Z. Dippé.
Colour/84 Minutes/R

An okay-looking genetically engineered breed of CGI monster fish (based on real life snakehead fish) chomp down on stupid people in the swamp. You've seen one of these SyFy "monsters attack humans" specials, you've seen them all, but this at least lives up to the more decent side of the Jaws rip-off genres standards, even if it doesn't improve on them. When it comes to these SyFy specials that they crap out every minute, you could do A LOT worse. Rent it on a slow night.

Adam and Evil (2004)
Starring: Sean Arnfinson; Lynsey Brothers; Erica Cerra; James Clayton; Jeffrey Fisher; Jodie
Graham; Brody Harms; Barbara Kottmeier; Terran Orletsky; Tiffany Paterson.
Directed by: Andrew Van Slee.
Colour/90 Minutes/R

Oddly-titled slasher in the woods film (one of the characters is named Adam... but it's not like he actually matters too much story-wise), isn't the worst I've ever seen, but isn't exactly something I'd consider worth seeing. You know the drill: sexy young adults, an isolated location, and a masked someone determined to killify them all in various gory ways. Red herrings abound. Poor acting overall. Not enough blood and tits to keep it interesting (more tease then sleaze). Don't even ask about the acting or story. Thank you, drive through.

Switch Killer (2005)
Starring: Cara Jo Basso; Eric Bishop; Monique Chachere; Alix Agar; Susan Blonsky; Jennifer
Autry; Amy Desta; James Tamis; Drew Lepkowski.
Directed by: Mack Hail.
Colour/85 Minutes/R

Interesting concept for a slasher film that is railroaded by a low budget, HORRID acting, pacing and writing. A crazy gets a sex change and tracks down his ex-girlfriend, who has become a stripper and muff-diver. There are a lot of very naked strippers being stalked and killed in this one, however, most of them actually look like real life strippers, if you get my drift... all plastic tits and stretch marks. Yummy. The movie trys to make you believe at first that the killer is female, but it's so painfully obvious that it is a dude in drag that it falls flat. Also known as Transamerican Killer for some stupid reason. Pass on this one.

Capsule Film Reviews #55: Road Kill, Wrong Turn 3, and Get Him to the Greek.

2011-03-06T11:35:00.011-04:00

Road Kill (2010)
Starring: Xavier Samuel; Bob Morley; Georgina Haig; Sophie Lowe; David Argue.
Directed by: Dean Francis.
Colour/90 Minutes/R

Four friends on a camping trip in the Australian outback are run off the road by a Road Train, which is the name given to large diesel trucks that haul two or more trailers, usually with two drivers. As they crawl out of the wreck that was their jeep, one of them injured badly, they notice the Road Train has stopped off in the distance. They decide investigate only to find the truck abandoned. After hearing gun shots, one of the two drivers comes out of the desert, shooting at them and screaming like a nut case, apparently having just killed his co-pilot. They take off in his truck in an effort to escape. They intend to get to the next town but something strange happens to them as they ride in the truck. Some sort of supernatural influence starts to take them over one by one and play them against each other. There's something very wrong happening inside those trailers the Road Train is hauling. Road Kill (also known as Road Train) is a surreal and effective little minimalist supernatural romp; yet another in a growing list of impressive genre films coming from down under. At times it perhaps tries too hard to be weird for the sake of being weird, but generally I liked it. It takes the already established internal conflicts between the characters (essentially a love triangle with an unsuspecting fourth wheel) and plays them off on each other. The truck seems to need blood and it seems to need a driver. Who will be food and who will take the wheel? The acting is good considering that the cast are required to go bug nuts crazy after spending only moments around the truck. David Argue, who some may remember from 1984's Razorback, is great in his brief time as the previous driver. While making us wonder who will survive and what will be left of them, the film peppers the viewer with grue, impressive Australian scenery, hallucinations, and more questions than answers. In fact, if anything, the film gives too much away. I think we never needed to see what was in those trailers. Some may be put off by the weird and unexplained, and the fact that one character is pretty dumb for still being in love with an obviously possessed and dangerous former lover, but I think it's still quite a worthy rental.

Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead (2009)
Starring: Tom Frederic; Janet Montgomery; Gil Kolirin; Christian Contreras; Jake Curran; Tom
McKay; Chucky Venice; Tamer Hassan.
Directed by: Declan O'Brien.
Colour/92 Minutes/NR

I liked the first Wrong Turn. I quite liked the second one... maybe even a bit more than the first, but this one got everything wrong. Instead of boring you with the plot here's some random thoughts I had: There's only two mutants, and one of them is a useless child mutie? No, no, no, we need a family of muties picking off a proper busload of cons, not two picking off a handful. Did they actually try to build sympathy for the mutant dad because the normal people snuffed out his son? Come on, nobody bought it, and neither did the film makers, who pretty much dropped the idea half way through anyway. Suddenly enraged daddy quickly seemed to calm back down to being just normally cannibalistic daddy pretty quickly. They really didn't use their budget to full effect on this one. Apparently horrible CGI gore is more important than decent pacing and writing. THEY SHOWED THE KILLER IN THE OPENING ACT! Why was there an undercover cop in this if he wasn't going to do anything but have his face CGI'ed off? One moment that hot deputy is sitting in her truck. Moments later she's hanging around bloody and nude, dying in some ill-advised rip-off of Hostel. They actually do show her being molested in a deleted scene, but that doesn't count. I think the only thing I liked about this film was the overly evil lead prisoner. He was a total dick.Yeah, they really shouldn't make another one... but that tacked on "oh right, it's a horror movie, so let's add a twist...no, two twists!" ending doesn't bode well. Not really worth your time.

Get Him to the Greek (2010)
Starring: Jonah Hill; Russell Brand; Elisabeth Moss; Rose Byrne; Sean Combs; Colm Meaney.
Directed by: Nicholas Stoller.
Colour/109 Minites/R

In this semi-sequel to Forgetting Sarah Marshall Johna Hill plays Aaron Green, a meek record company intern at Pinnacle Records, which is losing money. After pitching an idea to head of the company, Sergio Roma (Sean "Diddy" Combs) to have fallen-from-grace rock star Aldous Snow (Russell Brand) play at the Greek Theatre, Aaron is tasked with getting Aldous there in one piece, as the rock star has relapsed into drug use and self-destructive behaviour after his last album was a critical failure and his marriage to pop star Jackie Q (Rose Byrne) ends. Aaron soon finds himself being pulled into the rock star's inner circle and controlled by Aldous, in a string of missed flights, drunken binges and sex with strange women. If he can not manage to assert himself soon, the concert will not happen, something Aldous is counting on. Hill and Brand make a pretty good on-screen duo. Hill's character is smart, sensitive and just in need of some self confidence. Brand's Aldous Snow is a perfect role for him, and he plays up the comedic, over-the-top, self-destructive rock star character to perfection. Most of the laughs come from the two leads playing off of each other, getting into weird situations, and the crazy characters they cross paths with, including a very good Colm Meaney playing Aldous' mooching father, and real life stars like Lars Ulrich as Jackie Q's new lover. Sean Combs somehow manages to be really good here, too. The film only lags when the raunch and slap-stick dies down for heart-felt scenes of self-introspection and recovered relationships. This is one film that didn't need that sort of muck. Still, the laughs manage to shout-down the snores. Worthy rental.

Capsule Film Reviews #54: Red, Red Hill, Mirrors 2, Hatchet II, and Ong Bak 3.

2011-02-21T13:13:00.012-04:00

Red (2010)
Starring: Bruce Willis; Mary-Louise Parker; John Malkovich; Helen Mirren; Karl Urban; Morgan Freeman; Brian Cox; Rebecca Pidgeon; Ernest Borgnine.
Directed by: Robert Schwentke.
Colour/111 Minutes/PG-13

Based on a DC comic. Willis is a retired CIA super agent (thus "RED": Retired, Extremely Dangerous) who is leading a dull and lonely life, trying to spark a romance with the customer service girl working for his pension office (Mary-Louise Parker). One night he's attacked by a team of assassins. He kills the lot and hooks up with his retired and terminally ill mentor (Morgan Freeman) and assorted other retired agents and killers (Malkovich; Mirren; Cox) to discover who is after him and why. It turns out it's his former employer, the CIA, cleaning up something from its past. Karl Urban is the stoic CIA agent sent to take Willis and co. down. Lightweight, full of action, and obviously over-the-top, the film focuses on comedy and great actors having a lot of fun. In general the film works as a breezy action comedy, with some cute character moments. A real highlight is the knock-down-drag-out fight between Willis and Urban in the offices of the CIA. I was not expecting thought-provoking drama or a tight suspense picture, so I enjoyed myself. Willis is perfect for these tough straight man roles, and Parker is goofy and fun. It's great to see Borgnine still working. Perhaps the only real problem is that Freeman, Cox, and Mirren have very little to do, where as Malkovich is all over the place in his supporting role as a paranoid conspiracy nut. Worth renting.

Red Hill (2010)
Starring: Ryan Kwanten; Steve Bisley; Tommy Lewis; Claire van der Boom; Christopher Davis; Kevin Harrington; Richard Sutherland; Ken Radley.
Directed by: Patrick Hughes.
Colour/95 Minutes/R

Set in the rural Australia, Ryan Kwanten plays Shane Cooper, the young city police officer who relocates to the quiet town of Red Hill, with his pregnant wife, in order to settle down a bit. However, he finds out that unfriendly fellow officers and a hard ass boss (Steve Bisley as police chief "Old Bill") are the least of his worries when a convicted murderer called Jimmy Conway (Tom E. Lewis) makes a dramatic escape from prison and heads to Red Hill to take cold and deadly revenge on the police chief and everyone else he feels wronged him. A really good thriller that plays like a western, the film builds some good tension as we watch the sly cat and mouse games Conway plays with the police as he fearlessly assaults the town alone, bent on his revenge. Cooper can see something else is going on between Conway and the police that is being kept secret, and he intends to get to bottom of it if he can survive the night. The film almost tricks you into thinking this is a standard slasher film of sorts. Conway, dressed up like a cowboy from hell, half of his face badly scarred with burns, he looks like an iconic movie killer in the slasher mold. Moody and solidly acted. I personally found the film did a good job of keeping its secrets, and even when I discovered them for myself half way though, I still wanted to watch everything play out. A very worthy rental. I plan on owning it.

Mirrors 2 (2010)
Starring: Nick Stahl; Emmanuelle Vaugier; Evan Jones; Christy Carlson Romano; William Katt; Lawrence Turner; Stephanie Honore; Jon Michael Davis.
Directed by: Víctor García.
Colour/86 Minutes/R

A large mirror from the haunted Mayflower Department Store of the first film is used to decorate the new store being opened in New Orleans. When the first security guard badly maims himself with glass, the owner Jack Matheson (William Katt) hires his son Max (Nick Stahl) to fill the position in an attempt to give him some purpose in his life, after losing his fiancée in a serious car accident a year previous. Max starts to see visions of a dead girl in the mirror, who shows him the people working there being brutally murdered. These nasty fates begin to come true. Jack discovers that the girl is a former employee who went missing. What is the connection between the dead girl and these people? Is she taking revenge upon them from beyond the grave? Jack is determined to get to the bottom of it. This sequel to the Alexandre Aja directed original, which was a significantly changed remake of the South Korean film Into the Mirror, actually plays much closer to the South Korean original. It's essentially just a fairly well-done direct-to-video supernatural slasher film, with a bit of mystery jammed in there. The acting is competent, the effects are acceptable, and the story is very by-the-numbers and predictable. But hey, there's some nudity! It does not have the budget or the style Aja's Mirrors did, but you could do a lot worse than this one when diving into the rental shark tank. Worth renting.

Hatchet II (2010)
Starring: Danielle Harris; Tony Todd; Kane Hodder; Parry Shen; Tom Holland; R.A. Mihailoff; AJ Bowen; Alexis Peters; Ed Ackerman; David Foy; Colton Dunn; Rick McCallum; John Carl Buechler.
Directed by: Adam Green.
Colour/89 Minutes/NR

Picking up on the same night the first film ends, the final girl (this time played by genre vet Danielle Harris) who survived the rampage of hulking, deformed undead killer Victor Crowley, tracks down the help of con man Reverend Zombie (Tony Todd) in order to send Crowley to his final resting place and recover the bodies of her father and brother. Zombie, convinced he can kill Crowley for good (who is cursed to come back to physical life every night) by taking his head, and thus opening up the swamp for his tour boat business, hires some local hunters and trackers to help them. I personally had little love for the first film. Too much gravy, not enough meat. But here Adam Green gives us the first film over again, but with amped up gore, fun, and more interesting characters to watch get torn into piles of gore. As I said, the film generally just seems to be more fun, and Crowley's back story is fleshed out. While still not a great film, it's entertaining with some cool kills (the scene involving two victims having sex is a stand-out mix of sick humor and gross-out shock). Strangely enough, Crowley himself is even more of a background element here than in the previous film. Spot the Lloyd Kaufman cameo and a sly wink to Green's Frozen. Good rental.

Ong Bak 3 (2010)
Starring: Tony Jaa; Primrata Det-Udom; Dan Chupong; Sarunyu Wongkrajang; Nirutti Sirijanya; Petchtai Wongkamlao; Chumphorn Thepphithak; Supakorn Kitsuwon; Sorapong Chatree; Santisuk Promsiri.
Directed by: Tony Jaa and Panna Rittikrai.
Colour/99 Minutes/R

I'd love to tell you the story here. Sometimes one can get the gist of what's going on, but for the most part, this direct sequel to Ong Bak 2, which picks up right after the previous film ends, is a mish-mash of bad acting, horrible writing, and Buddhism. What made Ong Bak 2 interesting pretty much ruins this film: far too much talking and attempts at concluding the story in some epic way; insertion of too much silly supernatural nonsense; and the unforgivable sin of cutting back the martial arts action scenes as mere window dressing. The film looks good, Tony Jaa is still awesome when he's kicking ass, and this film does up the brutality and blood quite a bit, but the attempts at an epic story generally hamstrings this film before it ever gets a chance to get going. It does do some nice subtle connections to the first film, which confirms that Jaa's character in Ong Bak is a reincarnation of his character in Ong Bak 2 and Ong Bak 3, but it's not enough. Skip this one, watch the first Ong Bak again.

Tura Satana RIP.

2011-02-07T11:01:00.009-04:00

Tura Satana
(July 10, 1938 -- February 4, 2011)

Selected Filmography:

Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965)
The Astro-Zombies (1968)

Capsule Film Reviews #53: The Wolfman (2010), The Horseman, Dark House, The Wild Hunt, and The Road.

2011-02-07T09:30:00.020-04:00

I know I've not been updating more than a couple of times a month (this post is the first in series that shall attempt to fill-in those gaps). Mostly this is due to lack of time and the fact that my computer (almost 10 years old now) is dying a slow, painful death. I hope to purchase a new computer soon, and my personal life is thankfully becoming less hectic as of late, so I should be able to get back to posting more soon. I have been writing stuff in preparation for planned "theme months", where I'd have a Japanese Samurai month; Spaghetti Western month; Martial Arts month; Blaxploitation month; and a Roger Corman month. It would be a mix of capsule reviews, full-length reviews and DVD Spotlight reviews. We'll see how it goes. Thanks to you, my readers/followers for sticking around.

The Wolfman (2010)
Starring: Benicio del Toro; Anthony Hopkins; Emily Blunt; Hugo Weaving; Geraldine Chaplin; Art Malik; Antony Sher; David Schofield; Simon Merrells; Cristina Contes; Michael Cronin; Nicholas Day.
Directed by: Joe Johnston.
Colour/199 Minutes/NR

Remake of the 1941 classic. del Toro is the half-white/half-gypsy Lawrence Talbot, an actor estranged from his family, who returns home after his brother is killed by a wolf-like creature. Further investigations lead him to being bitten by the creature himself, which you know can't be good. He also finds himself falling for his brother's fiancé (Emily Blunt), and uncovering a deep, dark secret about his father (Hopkins). All the while Inspector Francis Aberline (Hugo Weaving) hounds Talbot. The film was plagued with production problems and was held back from release for a good while. You can see it in the disjointed and episodic nature of the film, as it jumps from one scene to another without much flow. Everything from decent to bad CGI is on display. The actors try their best and gore hounds will be pleased, but overall the film is a bit of a misfire, and very predictable. Worth a rental, but you can find much better werewolf films out there, including the original, of course.

The Horseman (2008)
Starring: Peter Marshall; Caroline Marohasy; Brad McMurray; Jack Henry; Evert McQueen; Christopher Sommers; Bryan Probets; Steve Tandy; Chris Betts; Damon Gibson; Hannah Levien; Ron Kelly; Robyn Moore; Warren Meacham.
Directed by: Steven Kastrissios.
Colour/96 Minutes/R

Peter Marshall plays Christian, a regular guy and pest exterminator by trade. He is sent a video tape showing his daughter taking part in amature gang-bang pornography. He discovers that she died of a drug overdose shorty after the porn shoot. That's too much for Christian -- he becomes unhinged and goes on a one-man mission, tracking down and killing the pornographers that played a role in his daughter's death, and anyone else connected to the tape. Along the way he picks up a female teen aged drifter who is unaware what his strange business-related stops entail. A pretty well-made and brutal indie revenge flick from Australia. The violence is exploitative, but realistic and effective. Christian's rage and inability to see his daughter for what she really was blinds him and fuels his violent quest. Nobody can explain to him the reality of the situation: although others were in part responsible for his daughter's death, she was not a saint by any means. The final act, where the tables are turned on Christian, is a bit of a stretch, but does not ruin the film as a whole. Worthy rental.

Dark House (2009)
Starring: Jeffrey Combs; Meghan Ory; Diane Salinger; Matt Cohen; Shelly Cole; Danso Gordon; Ryan Melander; Bevin Prince; Erin Cummings; Ian Reed Kesler; Meghan Maureen; McDonough; Scott Whyte.
Directed by: Darin Scott.
Colour/85 Minutes/R

Jeffrey Combs is Walston Rey, famous for creating horror theme parks. He hires a group of young actors to fill various roles in his latest attraction: "Dark House", a now famous murder house where foster children once lived. The house mother, Miss Darrode, went mad and killed most of them, and then herself, 14 year previous. What nobody knows is that one of the actors, Claire (Meghan Ory), was there that day and has been haunted by the event. She decides this a perfect way to face her fears. Rey shows the actors the sophisticated hologram technology used to create the various horrors in the house, but a true horror lurks there, and soon the actors find themselves trapped and in danger from the attractions, which are now apparently very real and very deadly. Essentially you'll be reminded of the remake of House on Haunted Hill. Most obvious: Combs yet again doing his best scene-chewing in the traditional Vincent Price-type role. The other actors manage not to tarnish things, but overall the film never really quite works. For the budget, the special effects are decent, and the film doesn't really lag, but there's an annoying double-twist ending here that soils the whole affair. What's with films these days that they feel the need to swerve the audience and then swerve them again? It just makes your film seem cheap and desperate. Okay rental, but only if there's nothing else.

The Wild Hunt (2009)
Starring: Ricky Mabe; Mark Antony Krupa; Trevor Hayes; Kaniehtiio Horn; Kent McQuaid; Claudia Jurt; Nicolas Wright; Kyle Gatehouse; Terry Simpson; Spiro Malandrakis; Victor Trelles; Martin Stone; Holly O'Brien.
Directed by: Alexandre Franchi.
Colour/96 Minutes/NR

Do you LARP, as in Live Action Role Play? No matter if it's a D&D adventure, a historic Civil War reenactment, or something sex-based, more akin to furries, there are a lot of people who do relax by dressing up and pretending to be someone else, and have fun doing so. This low budget Canadian film takes, what feels like a very authentic look into the world of LARPing. A young man named Erik is having relationship problems with his girlfriend Evelyn, mostly due to him taking care of his father, who is suffering from dementia. She runs off to join Erik's LARP-obsessed brother in a weekend LARP event based around Viking-like sagas and the mythical wild hunt itself. Everyone there must follow the rules, the most important one being to never break character. Erik decides to go there and make Evelyn come back to him. However, he has no respect for the game or the people playing it, and his single-minded desire to win her back disrupts the event. One player, going by the name Shaman Murtagh takes the game a bit too seriously and begins to develop an unhealthy obsession with making Evelyn his own and stopping Erik at any cost. That cost is the main element focused on here. The line between fantasy and reality. Retreating into another world to escape the horrors of the real world, only for them to eventually find you again. The film looks good for its budget, is well-acted, and makes a good point without looking down on the LARPing world. It echos The Lord of the Flies and contains elements of Shakespeare, mixed with the classic tragedy found in Norse mythology. Worthy rental.

The Road (2009)
Starring: Viggo Mortensen; Kodi Smit-McPhee; Robert Duvall; Guy Pearce; Molly Parker; Michael K. Williams; Garret Dillahunt; Charlize Theron; Bob Jennings; Agnes Herrmann; Buddy Sosthand.
Directed by: John Hillcoat.
Colour/111 Minutes/R

Based on Cormac McCarthy's novel. Some unknown event has destroyed America and possibly the world. All the animals have died, the plants are almost gone, too, and most people are soon to follow, be it from starvation or being preyed upon by their fellow man. Two survivors, a father and son duo known only as The Man (Viggo Mortensen) and The Boy (Kodi Smit-McPhee) leave their respective wife and mother (Charlize Theron), who gave up on life, and make their way to the ocean. Why? Why not? One needs a goal if one is to keep on living. The Man is determined to protect The Boy at all costs, but is realistic. There are two bullets left in his gun, and he realizes how they may need to be used. As long as they have food they can keep going and The Man is determined to fend off death, be it from starvation or human raiders (most, who have taken up cannibalism by this point)...and whatever disease is slowly eating him up from the inside. Hillcoat (The Proposition) does as good a job as can be expected. A damn bleak film, grey and damp. The visualization of this destroyed world is fully realized and impressive in the tone it sets. The world here truly looks to be dying, and the remaining survivors are its last breaths. The story is fairly predictable and the sub plot about remembering Theron's character should have been dropped, but otherwise you have a down beat and gritty end of the world picture here, that visually is on par with Children of Men. Worthy rental.

Double Feature Review: Valhalla Rising and Centurion.

2011-01-24T08:49:00.016-04:00

This is the first in a new feature on my blog. With each installment I'll pair together and review two films that I think work really well as a double feature. Much like my DVD Spotlight feature, it should be assumed that both films are already recommended as being worth renting at the very least. Disagree/agree with my reviews and my pairing? Feel free to comment!

Valhalla Rising (2009)
Starring: Mads Mikkelsen; Maarten Stevenson; Gordon Brown; Andrew Flanagan; Gary Lewis; Gary McCormack; Alexander Morton; Jamie Sives; Ewan Stewart; Mathew Zajac.
Directed by: Nicolas Winding Refn.
Colour/93 Minutes/NR

Set in 1000 A.D., we see Mads Mikkelsen as a scared, one-eyed, mute Nordic warrior, held captive and forced to fight to the death every day by his pagan captors. He seems to have a psychic foresight and is both feared and valued by the various tribes, who barter for him. He manages to escape and kill his captors, leaving alive only the young boy who tended to him when he was being held. The boy follows him and seems to be able to hear his thoughts, thus he becomes his mouthpiece. They soon encounter a group of vikings who have been converted to Christianity and are seeking the Holy Land. The boy introduces the warrior to them as, fittingly enough, "One-Eye". The leader of the group thinks One-Eye may be a positive boon in their quest, who can both help defend them and find redemption for his sins, while others think he may be a curse to them all. They set sail in a misguided attempt to reach Jerusalem. They actually are pointed on a long journey towards the New World, which tests their will power and bodies with starvation, dehydration and madness, as well as their faith in their adopted Christian god. In this new strange land that they decide to lay claim to in the name of their god, they soon find themselves being killed by an unseen enemy. Is it One-Eye killing them off? Savages? Demons? Have they made a wrong turn down into the very bowels of hell?

Valhalla Rising starts off with a gritty, filthy, bloody opening act, but soon settles into a slow-burn of suspense and strange, yet beautiful visuals. If one goes into this film expecting a bloody viking epic of some sort, they will probably be let down. The performances, especially by Mikkelsen, who never says a word, were good enough to keep me watching even when I became a bit lost at times. The film draws visually and thematically from Aguirre, Wrath of God, but it also plays like a science fiction film. To these Vikings, making it to the New World is like stepping foot on a new, alien planet. The strange-looking, painted aboriginals might as well be Martians.

I think one of the strengths of the film is that it has no real built-in message that it tries to beat you over the head with. Essentially it's up to the viewer to fill in the gaps as to what's happening, and what it's all about. Is One-Eye and his visions a representation of Odin, the one-eyed king of the Norse gods, who is said to have given one of his eyes for knowledge? Is the film about how the pagans used their gods as an excuse to kill each other and the Christians used the pagan beliefs and celebrations to help spread their influence? It's a film worth revisiting a couple of times, in order to come up with your own conclusions. All I know right now is that I really liked it.

Centurion (2010)
Starring: Michael Fassbender; Dominic West; Olga Kurylenko; Riz Ahmed; Noel Clarke; Imogen Poots; Liam Cunningham; JJ Feild; Dimitri Leonidas; David Morrissey; Ulrich Thomsen; Dave Legeno; Axelle Carolyn; Paul Freeman; Rachael Stirling.
Directed by: Neil Marshall.
Colour/97 Minutes/R

Centurion takes place in Roman-occupied Britain in 177 A.D. The conflict between the Roman Empire and the painted Celtic tribals known as Picts in the Scottish Highlands has been ground to a halt. The king of the Picts, Gorlacon, has employed guerrilla tactics to hold off the Romans and demoralize them. The Ninth Legion under General Titus Flavius Virilus (Dominic West), along with the help of the female scout Etain (Olga Kurylenko), a mute warrior from another tribe, is tasked with striking at the heart of the Pict forces, hopefully killing Gorlacon and breaking them for good. However, Etain turns on them and almost everyone in the Legion is slaughtered in an ambush; Titus Flavius Virilus is captured. Now only a small group of survivors, led by Centurion Quintus Dias (Michael Fassbender), find themselves on the run, being chased even deeper into Pict territory in hopes of being able to double back and escape to the Roman border.

Centurion is a typically well-made and good-looking Neil Marshall flick. At its heart it's a tense little chase picture, akin to 2006's Apocalypto, that uses the legend of the "lost" Ninth Legion as a framework. The Roman survivors are a mixed group from all over the vast empire, who are not so much unified by their duty as they are getting out of Britain alive. The Picts are relentless, bent on blood revenge, especially after a failed attempt to rescue Titus Flavius Virilus ends with the death of Gorlacon's son. I found myself comparing these soldiers and this conflict as a historic counterpart to Vietnam and the more recent wars in the Middle East. Both sides have committed horrible acts in this war. The Romans imperialistic brutality has forced the Picts to be even more brutal in return. The Roman Soldiers are burnt-out and want to go home -- a home they may not be welcome in any longer, as public opinion of the war has soured.

The acting is solid, but the film does lack depth as far the various characters are concerned. Also, some of the plot points are fairly predictable, especially Etain turning on the Romans, and the love interest angle between Fassbender and Imogen Poots' characters. Still, the picture is focused on action and there it succeeds quite well. The well-done battle scenes, highlighted by the impressive initial ambush by the Picts on the Ninth Legion, are worth the rental alone, even if the dramatic depth is cookie-cutter.

The 20 Best Films I Watched in 2010.

2011-01-04T14:53:00.013-04:00

Originally this post was going to be my top 20 horror films for 2010. I quickly realized I couldn't even list ten that were worth mentioning. How sad is that? Granted there's a few genre films from 2010 that are yet to be released on DVD, but even then I'm doubting I could even cough up five films that were better than just good. What right do they have to be on a list of the best? None, I say. I will not lower my standards or grade on a curve. So hell, let's not even focus on strictly 2010 releases: let's just list films I've only just seen for the first time in 2010, no matter what year they were released, regardless of genre. I'll make each comment as brief as possible, as I've yet to officially review most of the films on this list.

20. Django (1966)
A somewhat B-level spaghetti western from Sergio Corbucci, that borrows from Leone, but is not without its own ideas and iconic imagery. Corbucci generally had a much darker outlook in his films. See The Great Silence for his masterwork, but don't skip Django and that coffin he drags around behind him.

19. The Horseman (2008)
A tight and effective Aussie revenge flick sees an everyman become unhinged and taking out the pornographers that played a role in his daughter's death. Brutal and effective, somewhat undone by its final act, but the rest of the film is great.

18. Eaten Alive (1977)
Tobe Hopper gets unfairly stomped on as being a one-trick pony. Most people seem to forget both The Funhouse and this whacked-out, backwoods grindhouse treat, about a nutcase feeding his motel customers to his pet crocodile, and that's a shame.

17. Pontypool (2008)
A most original, and one of the more interesting zombie films you're likely to see. People already fail to communicate in zombie films at the best of times. So what does one do when spoken words are what triggers the zombie virus? This might be just what you're looking for if you're tired of a genre bloated with flesh-eating morons and the morons they eat.

16. The Hit (1984)
A cocky Brit criminal turned informer (Terence Stamp) seems perfectly zen when hit men John Hurt and Tim Roth come calling to him in Spain. A series of mind-games unravels hidden truths as they ride across the Spanish countryside, intending to deliver Stamp into the hands of the people he turned on. A great film that explores the courage of convictions in the face of death.

15. The Friends of Eddie Coyle (1973)
A really great depiction of small-time criminals in Boston who do the dirty work of the real gangsters. Robert Mitchum is the star, as a low-level gun runner looking for a way out of doing jail time, but he does not overshadow the other players here, including Peter Boyle as a middle-man that deals out jobs. Where does loyalty end and self-preservation begin? And is there ever really a way out of the world they've chosen to exist in?

14. Harry Brown (2009)
An understated and very well-done revenge film. Death Wish but set in England and it thankfully never gets knee deep in the sleaze like the later Death Wish films and their clones do. Michael Caine plays an aging ex-military man pushed too far. He's both quite capable and quite venerable, thus very human.

13. The House of the Devil (2009)
Probably too perfect a recreation of those obscure, and sometimes near-great, horror films that made the VHS rounds back in the day when you and your friends were up for watching two or three horror films a night.

12. The Curse of Frankenstein (1957)
Cushing in one of his his iconic Hammer roles as the amoral Frankenstein; Lee as the best monster in the series. Well-acted, bloody, and a whole lot of fun. They just don't make them like this anymore, sadly.

11. The Sherlock Holmes Collection (1968)
Here we get all that remains of the BBC series, starring Peter Cushing as the world's greatest detective and Nigel Stock as a (thankfully) competent Dr. Watson. It's a shame so much was lost, but the five episodes that do remain are a treat for Holmes and Watson fans -- especially those who hold the source material near and dear.

10. Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010)
Set outside the now quite large DC Animated television universe, here Batman gets taken to an even more dark and gritty direction than in the animated series. Will the guilt over the death of the second Robin, Jason Todd, cloud Batman's ability to bring him down when he's resurrected and becomes the vicious crime lord Red Hood? Based on the popular stories from the comic books, A Death in the Family and Under the Hood. It's the best animated film DC has put out so far and it's just a great Batman feature.

9. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans (2009)
The title sadly makes one want to compare it to Abel Ferrara's 1992 classic bad cop drama, but this is not a remake or a sequel. Herzog is indeed showing us another lower-than-low cop in Nicolas Cage, seeking his redemption in a fog of drugs and crime. But here everything is much weirder. You've not lived until the stare of an iguana has made you uneasy, and you've seen someone's soul still dancing.

8. Valhalla Rising (2009)
Gritty Viking action gives way to a slow dose of Aguirre, Wrath of God, as Mads Mikkelsen's silent Pagan stumbles upon the new world with a group of converted Christian Vikings. Very much about the clash between Christian and Pagan belief systems and how both were and still are used to control and seize power...and how such designs end in folly. Some may scratch their heads and fall asleep, I was quite impressed with the depth of the symbolism put forth.

7. Splinter (2008)
A carjacking couple and their yuppie hostages encounter a strange, spiky parasite, that invades, pokes out of, contorts, and then animates the bodies of its victims. Shades of Night of the Living Dead and Carpenter's The Thing, for sure, as they are trapped in a gas station by the parasite. However, for an indie effort like this, with such a great monster, and generally some solid acting, Splinter works really well.

6. Throne of Blood (1957)
Akira Kurosawa's adaptation of Macbeth, with Toshiro Mifune (of course) in the lead. Throne of Blood is a very atmospheric blend of Noh theatre and Shakespeare's play. Although the film does not really use any of the original language of the play, it does follow the story well enough that everyone who knows Macbeth will know they are watching a version of it. The stylistic choice to make the film look like an actual epic film instead of a stage play, and then drop in very specific trappings of Noh theatre within the film is a nice contrast.

5. Moon (2009)
One of the most surprising and thought-provoking science fiction films to come in years. Sam Rockwell is great as an isolated company man, working a three-year contract for an energy company that mines the moon. An accident reveals a shocking reality about himself. Kevin Spacey is perfectly suited for the voice of the AI assistant GERTY. Echos Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey but stands on its own two feet

4. Stray Dog (1949)
A rookie detective (Toshiro Mifune) in post-war Japan has his gun stolen, so he goes undercover to track down the thief, whom is already committing crimes with the gun. With both being war vets, the detective soon sees where his life could have led after he left the military. Probably Akira Kurosawa's first real masterpiece. It's a stylish little noir picture. With Kurosawa, however, I've always found that his style never overshadowed the plot or characters. Everything serves the story. This is the first film of his where his techniques really start to come together.

3. High and Low (1963)
Akira Kurosawa's fantastic and visually impressive drama/police procedural film about a wealthy executive (Toshiro Mifune) being targeted by a ruthless kidnapper. It doesn't quite follow the formula of these kinds of pictures. Hell, the film doesn't even start off like it's going to be a kidnapping picture at all. It's really well-acted and builds good suspense, with enough twists and turns to hold interest. The subtext is all about class struggle in a contemporary (at the time) Japan that has been rebuilding since the war. Thought-provoking stuff.

2. The American (2010)
Owing a lot to Jean-Pierre Melville's Le Samouraï, but standing on its own. George Clooney is good as a lone hit man/gun-maker on the run in Italy, possibly from his own employers. Who can he trust? Will love for a local hooker ruin the strict code he lives by, or is it possible for him to change and survive? It has the scenery and some of the minimalism of Jim Jarmusch's The Limits of Control, but it's got a lot more meat to it.

1. The Ghost Writer (2010)
No matter what one makes of Roman Polanski's sorted personal life, there's no mistaking his talent when it comes to suspense. A really slick thriller stars Ewan McGregor as a young, urbane writer picking up an unfinished ghost writing assignment for a former British Prime Minister (Pierce Brosnan, in a note perfect role, modeled after Tony Blair). McGregor's character is too smart and too snoopy for his own good and soon uncovers some shocking possibilities surrounding not only the former PM, but the real fate of the previous ghost writer. A tight and tense thriller. The best film I saw in 2010.

Film Review: Night of the Demons (2009).

2010-12-19T10:24:00.006-04:00

Night of the Demons (2009)
Starring: Shannon Elizabeth; Monica Keena; Bobbi Sue Luther; John F. Beach; Edward Furlong; Michael Copon; Diora Baird; Linnea Quigley.
Directed by: Adam Gierasch.
Colour/93 Minutes/R

Gothy chick Angela (Shannon Elizabeth) decides to throw a party in the notorious Broussard Mansion in New Orleans -- a place where six people vanished without a trace and the owner committed suicide -- in order to make a quick buck. However, the police soon break up what promises to be a wild party, and only her friends Maddie (Monica Keena), Lily (Diora Baird), Suzanne (Bobbi Sue Luther), and three guys are left, including Maddie's drug dealing ex-boyfriend Colin (Edward Furlong). They quickly come across the remains of the six missing people and discover they are trapped in the mansion. On this night demons seek out seven hosts to possess in order to break a seal that holds them from coming into our world. They have until dawn to do so. As they get taken over one by one, the surviving members of the group find apparent safety in a room with walls covered in strange symbols. Can they out-last the demons, or will the creatures eventually get in and take them as hosts?

While the original Night of the Demons (1988) was never a great film, it still remains a fan favourite cult gem from the late 1980s (and to some extent its two sequels are also fun). Many a horror fan growing up in that era, including myself, have fond memories of watching this on bad horror movie nights with friends. It had everything one could ask for: a cool premise, blood, demons, tits, lipstick being inserted into tits (a classic Linnea Quigley moment), coffin sex, the whole works. It was silly and gross, and just a lot of fun. How could one go wrong? The film really had a huge following on home video, and rightly so. This unneeded remake found itself going directly to video after being pushed back and having the idea of a theatrical release scrapped. Sort of a shame because that can be a big stigma for a film, especially when it's not a bad film at all.

This version of Night of the Demons plays things fairly close to the original. The location is changed and everything is updated a bit, but really, in spirit, this film manages to ape the tone of the original quite well. It actually does feel like one of those late '80s horror films I watched as a teen with my friends. Nobody in the cast really does a bad job with what they are given in the script and there's generally plenty going on to hold the viewer's interest. At the same time there's no strand-out performances either. Keena just isn't that good of a lead, and Furlong, while solid, looks lost and pudgy in yet another direct-to-video role. Also, the film does hit a bit of a speed bump for a bit once they get in that magical room. And it's also strange that the character of Angela is not given the role of head demon here, like in the original series. They really could have used a head baddie as a focal point.

Perhaps the only major downfall is a wasted opportunity to take the film somewhere a bit different. No real chances or risks are taken. The film makers seemed happy to keep things by the numbers. There's solid effects work on hand here, lots of blood and some breasts for the male and lesbian viewers (note: Diora Baird is sporting fake breasts here...okay, let me reword that: prosthetic breasts. Ahem). In fact, this film is in no shortage of hot females, and for that I thank the filmmakers. They at least didn't turn this into some PG-13 nightmare. Sadly, Linnea Quigley is only given a brief cameo, still looking good while sporting her costume her character in the original wore, and Tiffany Shepis is totally wasted in a bit part (seriously, she couldn't get naked or dead in this? She's the modern day Quigley for fucks sake!). The movie treads water. Had this been released in the 1980s, perhaps I'd look upon it a bit kinder, but at this point it's a passable retread of the original at best. Worth a rental on a bad horror movie night.

Capsule Film Reviews #52: Frozen, Green Zone, Ghosts of Goldfield.

2010-12-13T09:53:00.004-04:00

Frozen (2010)
Starring: Emma Bell; Shawn Ashmore; Kevin Zegers; Ed Ackerman; Rileah Vanderbilt; Kane Hodder.
Directed by: Adam Green.
Colour/93 Minutes/R

Two best friends, Dan and Joe, take the weekend to ski/snowboard at a resort. Traditionally this tends to be a guys only outing for the two, but this time Dan brings his girlfriend Parker into the mix, which Joe isn't too keen on, but he's trying his best to be cool about it. They bribe the lift operator to give them one last late-night run down the hill on Sunday. However, they get forgotten as a storm starts to move in, and are left stuck in the lift half way up the mountain when the resort shuts down for the week. Now with the real threat of dying up there, either due to the elements or just good old fashioned starvation, they must come up with a plan to escape, and soon. Below them a pack of wolves await the first one to try to chance a jump. Dan makes that mistake. Will Joe and Parker manage to escape? Will they turn on each other? Not a bad film, perhaps getting a bit too much praise. There is some good suspense built and the characters seem fairly believable. It's an interesting idea for a horror film, that draws from a possible real life situation. The broken legs, frostbite, and hand stuck to the bar, were all very effective in execution. Minor errors like the thing about the cable holding the lifts being razor sharp is bullshit, and wolves don't hunt during the day. Still, those are fairly forgivable points overall. The biggest problem is the fact that there was a pack of wolves in this at all. The addition is not needed, and it felt like a ploy to up the more typical horror movie feel of the film, when really the film had plenty of meat to work with already. The addition of the wolves makes the film a bit of a retread of Open Water. Still, a worthy rental.

Green Zone (2010)
Starring: Matt Damon; Greg Kinnear; Brendan Gleeson; Amy Ryan; Khalid Abdalla; Jason Isaacs; Yigal Naor.
Directed by: Paul Greengrass.
Colour/115 Minutes/R

Matt Damon plays Chief Warrant Officer Roy Miller, an American soldier heading up a squad that's searching for WMDs in Iraq. When they keep coming up empty he begins to question the validity of the intelligence reports he's been given. A shady contact from the CIA (Brendan Gleeson) strengthens his suspicions that perhaps elements from within the Pentagon may be providing the bad info in order to strengthen the war effort and justify disbanding the current Iraqi army and government, while setting up their own puppet government. Miller now finds himself going rogue in order to discover the truth. This is a fairly fast-paced and tense thriller. Of course, anyone who has seen the previous teaming up between Greengrass and Damon in the last two Bourne films will not be surprised. The film should not be taken at face value as a truthful account of what happened in the initial years of the Iraqi war. Essentially fact and fiction have been blended here in order to make for both an exciting but also thought-provoking film. It works fairly well. It manages to get its central message through without beating you over the head with politics or demonizing the American side. Perhaps its only problem is that actors like Gleeson and Kinnear take a backseat to Damon, as he runs around and uncovers the truth while shooting at people. Still, Damon is a good actor, and how else are you going to market a film like this if you don't keep the action up front? This film was smeared by the usual neocon nutjobs, but that was to be expected. Thankfully most actual movie fans watch a film before they give their opinion on it. Worth renting.

Ghosts of Goldfield (2007)
Starring: Kellan Lutz; Marnette Patterson; Mandy Amano; Scott Whyte; Chuck Zito; Ashly Margaret Rae; John Bloom; Teri Corcoran; Roddy Piper.
Directed by: Ed Winfield.
Colour/86 Minutes/R

A group of typical young victims, working for the Discovery Channel, take a trip to the mostly deserted town of Goldfield with camera equipment to film one of those "true haunted house" style shows, hoping to capture the ghost of a woman murdered in the local hotel on film. The leader of the group, Julie (Marnette Patterson) has some connection to the murdered woman (don't remember what...granddaughter, I think). It seems that because an actor from the Twilight series is in this (Kellan Lutz), this direct-to-video stinker managed to get released. That's got to be the reason, right? Because, just like those haunted house "reality" shows, most of the movie features false scares and lots of boring conversation in between uninteresting non-events, from dull people nobody cares about. It's not until the final twenty minutes or so that anything really happens, and by then it's just a confused combo of a supernatural slasher film and a poor attempt to tie up everything with a twist ending. The fact that retired pro wrestler Roddy Piper has a role here as a bartender and caretaker of the old hotel, may attract curious fans of some of his older genre films, but don't be fooled. He spurts out his grumbling lines with the voice of a gravel-eating whisky fiend. Flashbacks that flush out the "back story" have him playing another role, but with the WORST fake sideburns in history. The film never tries to even do the basics and make some connection between his present day character and the flashback character, who was also the bartender for the motel! Avoid. Abort.

Capsule Film Reviews #51: Zombies, Zombies, Zombies! Part 4.

2010-12-10T15:53:00.013-04:00

Dead Eyes Open (2008)
Starring: Birgit Dziobek; Rocco Finamore; Malte Gutkowski; Sonja Imping; George A. Romero.
Directed by: Ralf Möllenhoff.
Colour/85 Minutes/NR

Q: What do you get when a bunch of Germans somehow sucker George Romero into making a cameo appearance in their lower than low-budget zombie film?

A: Very mad at yourself for shelling out the money to actually watch this piece of garbage.

Yes, yet another in the long line of cheap zombie films. Thanks to Troma's sad policy of "no film is a big enough waste of time for us to turn down", North Americans can feast their eyes on a group of non-actors saying and doing boring, mind-numbing shit, and then encountering zombies. Seriously: this group of party animals idea of a good time is sharing a single bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Man, those Germans sure know how to drink! They try and go for this '70s grindhouse vibe with the very cheap and dirty picture quality. I'm not sure if they shot it on crappy old film stock, or if they edited the footage that way in post production, but that's pretty much the only interesting thing about the film, and even that gets to be a bit much, especially when there's nothing going on in the film itself to hold the interest of the viewer. Seriously: what the fuck is this shit? Non-existent acting. Horrible make-up effects (the zombies from Zombie Lake are Tom Savini-level masterpieces in comparison). Lack of logic and continuity. Lack of a plot. Lack of anything that's so-bad-it's-good. And yeah, George Romero is in this film. Does he even know he's in it? It looks like they filmed him doing an interview at a convention and then dubbed his lines with some much younger German voice. Maybe they figured he'd never see this? Where the hell is the blood and boobs? I mean, if ever a film needed it, it's Dead Eyes Open. The blood looks like red water, and we get a brief bare, skinny back of one of the female "leads". I'm scratching my head as to what audience they were shooting for. There's no excuse for releasing the incompetence on display here. Robot Monster would shun this at a party. Avoid. Abort.

Dead Snow (2009)
Starring: Vegar Hoel; Stig Frode Henriksen; Charlotte Frogner; Lasse Valdal; Evy Kasseth Røsten; Jeppe Laursen; Jenny Skavlan; Ane Dahl Torp; Bjørn Sundquist; Ørjan Gamst.
Directed by: Tommy Wirkola.
Colour/91 Minutes/NR

A group of Norwegian students go on Easter vacation at a cabin in the mountains. A strange hiker stops by and warns them it's best that they leave. To do so he relates to them the horrific past of the area. It seems that during WW2 there was a group of Nazi soldiers who had abused the locals for years. Near the end of the war they tried to loot them of their valuables and then run before the area was liberated. However the locals took their revenge, killing many of the soldiers and driving the rest into the mountains where they froze to death. It's not long before the students come across some of the loot the locals did not recover, and even death itself will not stop the corpses of the long dead Nazis from staking a claim on it. Now the students find themselves stuck on the mountain in a bloody struggle with relentless Nazi zombies. Dead Snow has quickly gained a lot of hype as being the second coming of the Nazi Zombie sub genre, but it's really not. Hey, it's fun, gory, funny in parts, and generally entertaining for the full 90 minutes. However, the films spends way too much time paying homage to all the better horror films that have inspired the film makers. Nothing wrong with that, but I wish they had tried to carve out a bit of an identity of their own and perhaps strengthen the logic gaps and exposition instead of showing us how much they love Evil Dead and Braindead. Seeing previously limp-wristed medical students suddenly go head-to-head with fast and very vicious undead Nazis in limb-hacking combat only can take a movie so far. You need some meat with the gravy. Still, it's a pretty good rental.

Zombieland (2009)
Starring: Woody Harrelson; Jesse Eisenberg; Emma Stone; Abigail Breslin; Amber Heard; Bill Murray; Derek Graf.
Directed by: Ruben Fleischer.
Colour/88 Minutes/R

A couple of months after a mutated strain of mad cow disease has turned most humans into flesh-eating zombies, four unlikely survivors join together, each with separate quests in mind. There's the meek "Columbus" (Jesse Eisenberg), who just wants to get home to Ohio, and has managed to survive thanks to a set of rules he lives by. There's tough-guy "Tallahassee" (Woody Harrelson), whose casual yet no-nonsense attitude towards zombie killing helps hide some deep inner pain. He's in search of the last remaining Twinkies in existence. Finally there's a pair of sisters: the older "Wichita" (Emma Stone) and the younger "Little Rock" (Abigail Breslin), who are just looking out for themselves, and are quite willing to con Columbus and Tallahassee anytime they get a chance. The film is not plot heavy by any means. Its success totally rests on the shoulders of the main cast and the laughs their characters -- and the situations they find themselves in -- generate. Eisenberg, while generally a bit too much like Michael Cera, manages to be a good foil for Harrelson, and in turn Stone and Breslin are perfect foils for our male leads. However, Harrelson manages to steal the show for almost the entire film. Only the cameo by none other than Bill Murray, mid way through, playing himself, manages to derail Harrelson for a brief period. Unlike, the great Shaun of the Dead, this film doesn't give a lot of focus to winking at us with sly references to past zombie films and that helps it avoid being easily written off as a Shaun clone. Add on a fast pace, interesting zombies, and good gore effects to go with them, Zombieland is very much worthy of renting. Own it if you like your zombie films collected.

Pontypool (2008)
Starring: Stephen McHattie; Lisa Houle; Georgina Reilly; Hrant Alianak; Rick Roberts; Daniel Fathers.
Directed by: Bruce McDonald.
Colour/95 Minutes/NR

A radio shock jock called Grant Mazzy (Stephen McHattie), on a downward spiral after his past antics have finally caught up with him, limiting his employment opportunities, comes into work one morning at a small radio station in Pontypool Ontatio, located in a church basement. Working that morning with only his producer and technician, the three of them soon start to receive strange reports of violence spreading through the area from listener call-ins and their field reporter. It seems that groups of ordinary people are turning into violent zombie-like maniacs, and nobody knows why. They are soon joined by a local doctor, who fled from the zombies. He claims it's a virus and it is transmitted by certain words, specifically from the English language. Isolated from the world, and unable to really call for help because anything they say to each other or over the air might trigger more people to become infected, they now must quickly find an inventive way to survive...and perhaps even stop this disease before it spreads to the rest of the world. The Canadian-made Pontypool is directed by the talented Canuck Bruce MacDonald (Hard Core Logo) and adapted by Tony Burgess from Burgess' own novel Pontypool Changes Everything. It's one of, if not the most, original zombie films you're ever going to see, where most of the story is driven by the small cast and how they react to what little they actually know about the horrible events that are taking place outside the walls of their fragile little sanctuary. Veteran character actor McHattie (most would recognize him as the older of two criminals wasted by Viggo Mortensen in the first half hour of David Cronenberg's A History of Violence) creates a great burnt-out rebel, both half-mad and incredibly cool, self-assured and uneasy. He perfectly carries the film on his shoulders. The film creates a good sense of claustrophobic suspense and dread. The fear the characters feel is not so much of the zombies but of communication. This is one of the rare films that leaves itself open for a sequel I really want to see (just ignore that weird bit after the credits have rolled). Worth owning.

Ingrid Pitt RIP.

2010-11-23T19:47:00.010-04:00

Ingrid Pitt
Nov 21, 1937 -- Nov 23, 2010

Selected Filmography:

Where Eagles Dare (1968)
The Vampire Lovers (1970)
Countess Dracula (1971)
The House That Dripped Blood (1971)
The Wicker Man (1973)

A Massive Beer Review Post.

2010-11-15T16:15:00.005-04:00

No, I'm not an alcoholic. I just haven't had the time to do any posts again as of late, so here's most of what I've had the pleasure (and in some cases, displeasure) of drinking in the last couple of months or so. I'll also be doing another, slightly smaller beer review post soon, in order to fully be up to date. I'll also be posting a couple of movie review posts very soon in order to play catch-up with the other half of this blog.

Mill Street Stock Ale (341ml bottle)
Brewery: Mill Street Pub & Retail Store, Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
ABV: 5.0%
Visit the official website.

This one pours out a golden lagerish colour with a foamy finger of white head, leaving a small bit of lacing as it goes down. The aroma, while not strong, is has a nice fresh grain character with a hint of honey sweetness. The taste opens up with sweet malts with very little in the way of hops in the finish, but it is still refreshing. The mouth feel is on the lighter side of medium, but creamy as well. Beeradvocate lists this as an American blonde ale in style, which is somewhat like a German Kölsch. Either way, it's a nice, smooth-drinking summer beer that does not hit you with a lot of flavour or character. A much better lawnmower beer or session brew than your run-of-the-mill macro lager. Watch the video review.

Alexander Keith's Harvest Ale (473ml can)
Brewery: Alexander Keith's, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.
ABV: 5.3%
Visit the official website.

A limited "Brew Master's" release. It pours out mahogany in colour with a tan, foamy, slightly creamy head, two to three fingers thick. The aroma is a mild, grainy malt character of toasted caramel. Not bad for a macro. The taste is fairly malty with mostly roasted caramel notes coming through. The finish is lacking the typical Keith's aftertaste, instead ending with a slight, lingering bitterness. Much more like a brown ale than a harvest ale, and more like an ale than any other so-called ale in their line-up. Not a great beer, but this should replace the horrible Keith's Dark as a year-round release. Good job for once, Keith's! Watch the video review.

St-Ambroise Oatmeal Stout (341ml bottle)
Brewery: McAuslan Brewing, Montréal, Quebec, Canada.
ABV: 5.0%
Visit the official website.

Pouring out a pitch black, this stout serves up anywhere from two to four fingers worth of brown head. It sticks around for a good while, leaves good lacing, and looks like an ice cream float. The aroma is a lovely rich roasted malt wallop, consisting of chocolate and coffee, with a sweetness that almost reminds me of black cherry. The taste follows through, with more of the roasted malt building up in the mouth. More malt sweetness comes out around the edges of it all (more of that semi-black cherry note). The finish is a dry and long roasted bitterness. Smooth, creamy, and full-bodied, this is my idea of what a perfect stout is all about. Watch the video review.

La Messagere Gluten-Free Beer (341ml bottle)
Brewery: Microbrasserie Nouvelle-France, Saint-Alexis-des-Monts, Quebec, Canada.
ABV: 4.7%
Visit the official website.

Made with buckwheat, rice pale malts, and hops. Is it really beer? I dunno, man. It pours out a very, very pale yellow. What colour there is comes from whatever you see through it in the background. A thin, soapy ring of "head" sits on top. The aroma is horrible. It smells like generic brand cat litter. No joke. Nothing about this reminds me of beer. Just a weird sweetness and chalky combo, and that's it. The taste starts out with a sweet apple note that quickly drops away to a salty, brackish watery insult to beer. The finish is chalky and dry. Flat out terrible crap. Even ice cold it's horrible. Nothing about this says "beer" to me. To heap insult upon injury, a 6-pack in the NSLC is $18+. AVOID. ABORT. Even if you have celiac disease. Bite the bullet and drink real beer.
Watch the video review.

Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout (500ml bottle)
Brewery: North Coast Brewing Co., Fort Bragg, California, United States.
ABV: 9.0%
Visit the official website.

Sent to me via beer trade by a fellow beer reviewer from the USA. Thank you, Chad! Named after the famous -- and apparently hard-to-kill -- mad Russian monk. 75 IBUs apparently! It pours out a solid black with a thin cap of sponge toffee-coloured head that leaves nice lacing. The aroma is strong with roasted, malty, coffee and bittersweet chocolate notes. The alcohol is well-masked. Taking a sip, the alcohol starts to come out behind the bitter coffee and chocolate. The hops make themselves known in the finish with a solid sting. The bitterness lingers on a good long while. Thick mouth feel and smooth going down. Really great stuff. Might be a better imperial stout to try than some, as it's much more about traditional stout flavours.
Watch the video review.

Southern Tier Pale Ale (355ml bottle)
Brewery: Southern Tier Brewing Company, Lakewood, New York, United States.
ABV: 6.0%
Visit the official website.

Sent to me via beer trade by a fellow beer reviewer from the USA. Thank you, Chad! A solid amber colour with cap of creamy white head that stays for the entire drink. Good lacing. The aroma it strong with sweet, flowery hops. Grapefruit notes come out at the back. No much malt there. Very nice. The grapefruit note of the hops hits right away, almost making me think "IPA" rather than pale ale. But that's American pale ales for you. The body is medium, and not a lot of malt comes out to balance with the finish. Reminds me of a dialed down version of Garrison's IPA. Pretty good stuff. Watch the video review.

Oskar Blues Ten Fidy Imperial Stout (355ml can)
Brewery: Oskar Blues Grill & Brewery, Lyons, Colorado, United States.
ABV: 9.5%
Visit the official website.

Sent to me via beer trade by a fellow beer reviewer from the USA. Thank you, Chad! Oskar Blues cans all of their beers. Thumbs up to them. Economically sound, eco-friendly, and when done correctly: your beer tastes better. Ten Fidy pours out a solid black abyss with a brown half a finger of head. Slightly darker peanut brittle or something like that. The aroma smacks you with sweet, roasted notes, with anise flowing into this cherry cola fade. Beautiful. The taste is the second smack of a two-punch K.O. Sweet roasted malts; toffee; caramel; slightly boozy but not overpowering, with a solid medium-to full body. Almost like syrup. Finishes like espresso. Could be a winter warmer. Complex but not overly so. Just great. Not for beginners to craft beer. World class stuff.
Watch the video review.

Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA (355ml bottle)
Brewery: Dogfish Head Craft Brewery, Milton, Delaware, United States.
ABV: 6.0%
Visit the official website.

Sent to me via beer trade by a fellow beer reviewer from the USA. Thank you, Chad! This is an IPA that is hopped every minute for 60 minutes for more flavour. They also have 90 minute and 120 minute versions. It pours out a dark golden orange. A nice finger of foamy head. Sweet notes of caramel, citrus (more on the orange side of things). Very nice. A bready, sweet malt character hits you first. Do I detect coffee notes? The finish is a solid citrus bitterness, but not close to being a hop bomb. Seems more like a pale ale or perhaps a Brit IPA? Very good, balanced, and very sessionable. Watch the video review.

Butternuts Heinnieweisse Weissebier (355ml can)
Brewery: Butternuts Beer And Ale, Garrattsville, New York, United States.
ABV: 4.9%
Visit the official website.

Sent to me via beer trade by a fellow beer reviewer from the USA. Thank you, Chad! Butternuts was once a Dairy Farm, but the owner converted it to a brewery. It's previous history influences the names of the various brews offered, as well as the label art. This is a German wheat beer in style. It pours out a hazy orange colour, with a finger or so of foamy head. Cloves, candy sweetness, and a slight banana note come out on the nose. The aroma is slightly more faint than some examples of the style I've had, but it's nice. The taste is also a bit muted. More cloves, some breadyness, an earthy hops finish, with a good carbonation sting. Very well balanced and very nice. It's not great, but it manages to stand out from examples that either favour strong cloves or strong sweetness, and it's very refreshing. Watch the video review.

Sleeman Light (341ml bottle)
Brewery: Sleeman Brewing and Malting, Guelph, Ontario, Canada.
ABV: 4.0%
Visit the official website.

Not to be confused with the Sleeman low cal. beer Sleeman Clear (which I did confuse at one point). This is now featured in the Sleeman selection pack in place of Sleeman 20. It pours out a typical golden colour, and it doesn't hold much more than a small ring of head from an initial finger or so. The aroma is sweet and grainy. Not as sweet as Sleeman Cream Ale or the Honey Brown, but it's stronger than one would expect from a light lager. This pretty much tastes like Sleeman Draught. Grainy, semi-sweet. Slightly more watery and less crisp, thus smoother going down, but it retains some flavour at least. Probably one of your best choices for a Canadian light lager. Watch the video review.

Fuller's London Pride (500ml can)
Brewery: Griffin Brewery, London, England.
ABV: 4.7%
Visit the official website.

The NSLC has switched the Fuller's ESB and Porter to 500ml cans, and switched out their 1845 for this new addition to their international section. Like the ESB and Porter, this is not a nitro can. A good two fingers of frothy head sits on an amber body. A good malty nose to it, that is pretty much a dialed-back version of the ESB. Earthy hops in the background, less fruity, with a more honey-like sweetness. Nice. On tasting it I feel a tad let down. The flavours seem a bit too muted (maybe because of the can?). It just seems a bit too watery. Smooth and malty up front, with honey sweetness, with a sting of earthy hops in the finish, which lingers on. I've had better British bitters, but this is still very good session bitter all things considered. Watch the video review.

Keystone Lager (355ml can)
Brewery: Molson Breweries of Canada Ltd., Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
ABV: 4.9%
Visit the official website.

The Molson side of Molson-Coors is now brewing and selling this American brew here in Canada. This is the Canadian version of Keystone Premium, not the more famous Keystone Light (which is also now sold in Canada, although I've not seen it in my neck of the woods yet). It's a Molson-Coors budget beer. Goody gumdrops. Typical golden straw colour with a soapy head that initially sits at about two fingers. The aroma is quite dry and musty. No sweetness, just all about the cardboard. Not as horrible as some of these carboard lagers go. The taste is where the sweetness shows up. There is the dry, musty note again, but up front is this really sweet apple-like flavour. Something I really dislike. If you don't mind that, this may be a perfect budget lager for you. For me, I can't be bothered to risk losing my lunch after three or four of these. Watch the video review.

Moosehead Light Blackberry (341ml bottle)
Brewery: Moosehead Breweries Ltd., Saint John, New Brunswick, Canada.
ABV: 4.0%
Visit the official website.

I read somewhere that Moosehead's sales have been slipping. This flavoured light lager was apparently thrown quickly onto the market, sold as an alternative to lime-flavoured light lagers. Great. Why could I not get a single can for testing purposes? Keith's is at least smart enough to do that much. Why would most people bother to take a risk on 12 bottles? Oh well. It pours out a typical golden straw colour, with a small head that has no staying power. Aroma is a faint blackberry, or maybe even grape juice note. Perhaps even closer to dry, generic grape drink mix crystals. No typical beer notes to be found. The flavour is even more faint. Watery, with some faint blackberry or grape flavours, and maybe a tad of hops in the finish, but my tongue may have imagined that last bit. Essentially watered-down grape drink. You're better off drinking a lime beer really. Or better yet, Garrison's Blackberry Wheat ale would do, if you need a blackberry fix in your beer. Avoid this. Watch the video review.

Labatt Lite (355ml can)
Brewery: Labatt Brewing Company Ltd., London, Ontario, Canada.
ABV: 4.0%
Visit the official website.

Oh woe is I. It pours out a very pale yellow with a sticky, soapy finger or so of head. The aroma is pretty nasty. Grainy, musty cardboard sitting in an abandoned warehouse somewhere. The taste is more of the same. A very dry cardboard flavour. Sort of makes one forget it's a watery light lager. Both the aroma and taste are not any weaker than the regular Labatt, as far as I can tell, but at the same time they are much more nasty. Avoid this one. Watch the video review.

Molson Canadian 67 (355ml can)
Brewery: Molson Breweries of Canada Ltd., Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
ABV: 3.0%
Visit the official website.

Molson jumps on the low-cal. bandwagon with this light lager. It pours out a typical golden straw colour, with about a half finger of head that dies quickly. The aroma is the usual light, fresh grainy smell one would expect. A bit of sweetness there, and it reminds me of dish washing soap for some reason. The taste is fairly nonexistent. Slight dryness, bready, and quite watery. Not worth your time, really. Of note, you need to buy the actual 341ml bottle to get the actual 67 calories, otherwise you'll actually get 70 from the 355ml canned version. But really, is low-cal. or light beer really part of your diet plan? Really? That's kind of sad. Drink good beer in moderation unless your doctor is telling you different. Watch the video review.

My Top 20 Favourite Horror Movies.

2010-10-30T20:03:00.014-03:00

Great, another blogger with a list post. But hey, they make for easy content when one is short on time, and they make for quick reads, which can be a plus some times. At any rate, here's my favourite horror movies. I dare not say "of all time", as the list very well could change, but for the most part it has stayed fairly solid over the last few years. I've tried to focus this list on films that actually scare me, or in the very least creep me the hell out in a very serious way. But some selections are just there because they are awesome films that suck me in every time I watch them. Hopefully I'm not alone in some of the more slightly esoteric selections found here. Oh, and happy Halloween.

20. Near Dark (1987) | Directed by Kathryn Bigelow.

One of the more original and best modern takes on the vampire. This deserved to be the classic '80s vampire film that The Lost Boys is often hailed as being. A young man and a female vampire fall for each other and her "family" try to integrate him into the clan, but he soon learns the life of a vampire is not a life of glamour and fun, but a filthy, nomadic existence on the outside of society, living off its garbage. A solid cast, with memorable characters and a couple of really stand-out scenes. A very nice contrast to Anne Rice's lame romantic vampires.

19. From Beyond the Grave (1973) | Directed by Kevin Connor.

For me, the most enjoyable of Amicus Productions horror anthology releases. Four segments based on the short stories of R. Chetwynd-Hayes, held together by Peter Cushing, as an antique shop proprietor who deals out fate to his customers, based on how they treat him in their business transactions. A great group of genre vets round out the cast. Only one story is slightly out of place and the rest are delightfully morbid. For my money, the best made, and best looking of the Amicus anthologies.

18. Jaws (1975) | Directed by Steven Spielberg.

Like just about everyone else, this film made me think twice about taking a swim at times. It plays on the very real fear we all have of the unknown -- specifically the ocean and the alien horrors, real or imagined, which exist there. The great white shark is the perfect movie monster: A heartless eating machine, with cold black eyes, and no intention of stopping to consider if it wants to eat you. It has existed for millions of years, pretty much unchanged. You are nothing to it but food.

17. The Children (2008) | Directed by Tom Shankland.

I'm still blown away over this really shocking film about innocent children becoming killers against their will, and their parents inability to deal with this reality in a proper fashion. How does one kill their own children? In this case, it may very well be the right thing to do, but most normal people are hard-wired against such a solution. The film heaps tragedy upon tragedy and leaves me shaken up.

16. From Beyond (1986) | Directed by Stuart Gordon.

Truly one of the great, gory, fun house rides of the genre. Gordon takes his love of Lovecraft and updates it for the '80s with sex, comedy, and relentless grue. Genre stars abound and even if the film often steps outside of Lovecraft's conventions at times, it pays proper respect to his major themes -- the most obvious being that man is small in this universe, and perhaps he should be content to know his place.

15. The Haunting (1963) | Directed by Robert Wise.

The perfect example of minimalism in horror, based on Shirley Jackson's classic The Haunting of Hill House, is also just the best damn haunted house story ever put on film. Are there ghosts in Hill House, or are they all in Eleanor's fragile mind? Avoid the stupid remake and watch this one. This is how you build suspense and atmosphere without depending on effects and blood.

14. Tombs of the Blind Dead (1971) | Directed by Amando de Ossorio.

The first and best of what, honestly, isn't a great series of films. However, the Blind Dead -- the skeletal revenants of satanic Templar Knights -- are a truly scary mix of Romero zombie, vampire, and old school ghost. The way they hunt and surround their victims is creepy as hell. Watching them ride their undead horses is both campy and chilling.

13. Shock Waves (1977) | Directed by Ken Wiederhorn.

I had to have Nazi Zombies on here somewhere, didn't I? Well here's the best of the damn lot so far. Creepy androids, relics of an insane experiment the Nazis could not control. Given the budget and some of the spotty acting in the film, one would expect these undead uber-creeps to not really be creepy at all. But they are. Slow, silent, and deadly, with a unique look. Much like the Blind Dead in their films, it's the zombies here themselves that have mostly made this film a classic to this day.

12. Just Before Dawn (1981) | Directed by Jeff Lieberman.

Not really writing a new chapter in the book on slasher films, Just Before Dawn at least adds a paragraph or two. One of the best copycat slasher in the woods films to come out of the early '80s, there are some neat twists here. What stands out here, you ask?: a creepy score; a fairly unique twist regarding the killer; one stalk and kill scene that implies very nasty things without showing them; and even a bit of a twist on the final girl formula, all help prop this up above the standard trash.

11. Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970) | Directed by Peter Sasdy.

Apart from having the best title for a horror film ever, this is my favourite of the Hammer Dracula films. It's, of course, well-acted and everything looks good, but it also features a very smartly-written script that critiques Victorian-aged hypocrisy and highlights the clash between the older generation and its children. Christopher Lee hardly says anything in this one (he was brought back in at the last minute to reprise his signature role) but manages to be quite menacing as he takes a terrible revenge on those who have wronged him.

10. Horror Express (1972) | Directed by Eugenio Martín.

This could be watched on a double bill with The Thing, as it holds in common the central theme: people isolated with an alien intruder who could be anyone. Here they are isolated on a train and the alien is sucking peoples knowledge from their brains in order to better itself and survive. Throw in Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee as rival British men of science who are forced to work together to save the day, and a fantastic cameo by Telly Savalas, and you have a classic film in my book.

9. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) | Directed by Tobe Hooper.

The bleak underbelly of the love generation being eaten up by Vietnam war era America. A road trip far off the beaten path in rural America. A relentless encroachment of death upon hapless young men and women who learn that life isn't fair or safe. Shocking for its time and still effective today, despite it not being as bloody or violent as everyone seems to think it is. The film makes you believe you're seeing more than you really are.

8. Don't Look Now (1973) | Directed by Nicolas Roeg.

Shocking moments: the loss of a child, the breaking up of a marriage, and an uncanny series of events that somehow relate to it all, leads Donald Sutherland's character down a path towards a grim fate. Often we mistake warning signs and take the wrong direction home. Here it seems as if there was no other choice but to go down the wrong path.

7. The Blair Witch Project (1999) | Directed by Daniel Myrick & Eduardo Sánchez.

I can't understand how anyone, except for those with motion sickness problems, can not see this as a creepy minimalist classic of the genre. Unanswered questions are scary. I don't want to know for sure if there was a witch, or a serial killer's ghost, or if one of our main characters was not what they seemed. I want to ponder it forever. That's what this film offers true horror fans: the unexplained and the horrible possibilities of what happened to those three students.

6. The Shining (1980) | Directed by Stanley Kubrick.

A brave move to strip Stephen King's central themes in his novel out of the script and insert a much more creepy haunting in the Overlook Hotel. It's not so much the break down of the family Kubrick is concerned about here, but with the white man paying for his sins over and over again for what he did to the native population. At least that's what I'm convinced of after seeing this many, many times. In effect the evil spirits here are our own. The clues are all there.

5. The Thing (1982) | Directed by John Carpenter

From my original review: "The movie sets out to scare and it does. Taking elements from Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Agatha Christie's Ten Little Indians, the film actually stays more faithful to the original story than the first film adaptation did, and the Thing is one of the most interesting and outright scary monsters to ever appear on screen. Who has been taken over? Would you even know if you had been? The film is a shining example of how to blend horror and sci-fi together and make it work".

4. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) | Directed by Philip Kaufman.

A theme that scares me over and over. Your friends and loved ones changing and turning on you over night. Losing your identity. What is more scary than that? This is a smart update that takes advantage of the growing isolation and urban paranoia of its time. It has many creepy moments, but the final scene stands out and still scares me, even though I know it's coming.

3. Dawn of the Dead (1978) | Directed by George A. Romero.

Romero dumps his ghouls into a semi-comicbook action picture, set in a world gone mad. Society is breaking down, everyone is at each others throats for power and survival...and all the zombies want is to eat those throats. The first epic zombie picture and the true classic of the genre. As much of an action picture that it is, it's also a fairly obvious, but spot-on critique of consumerism, capitalism, racism, and authority in the wrong hands. All the usual stuff Romero likes to bitch about. But on top of all of that, it's gory and it's fun.

2. Halloween (1978) | Directed by John Carpenter.

Iconic. The little movie that could. The Shape (the ill-fated from the start Michael Myers) is not explained by the heroic Dr. Loomis in any regard other than he's pure evil. All that was human has died. That's all you need to know as we watch The Shape stalk three smart, interesting and likable young girls on Halloween night. You like them and you don't want them to die. This separates the film from many of its imitators, which feature throw-away teen fodder to be hacked up after smoking pot, drinking beer, and getting naked. The scenes where we see The Shape in the same frame as the characters he's stalking -- the soon-to-be victims totally unaware -- still works perfectly to this day.

1. Nosferatu: The Vampyre/Nosferatu: Phantom Der Nacht (1979) | Directed by Werner Herzog.

Herzog made this film wanting to pay tribute to a generation of German film makers that vanished before or around the rise of the Nazi Party in Germany. He picked F.W. Murnau's classic and somehow has improved upon it. Sometimes a shot-for-shot remake, this film truly explores the real horrors of the vampire. The undying isolation and loneliness that Klaus Kinski's Count Dracula feels is thick in the air. The viewer feels sorry for this monster, but is revolted at the same time. The scenes of a deserted and nearly dead plague-ridden town, all thanks to the coming of Dracula and his army of rats, stand to this day as some of the most effective scenes ever put to film.

Some Honourable Mentions:

Night of the Living Dead (1968) | Directed by George A. Romero.
Martin (1977) | Directed by George A. Romero.
Pan's Labyrinth (2006) | Directed by Guillermo del Toro.
Rogue (2007) | Directed by Greg Mclean.
Wolf Creek (2005) | Directed by Greg Mclean.
Psycho (1960) | Directed by Alfred Hitchcock.
The Innocents (1961) | Directed by Jack Clayton.
The Mist (2007) | Directed by Frank Darabont.
Session 9 (2001) | Directed by Brad Anderson.
Let the Right One In (2008) | Directed by Tomas Alfredson.
From Hell (2001) | Directed by Albert Hughes & Allen Hughes.
The Hills Have Eyes (2006) | Directed by Alexandre Aja.
Black Christmas (1974) | Directed by Bob Clark.
Deathdream (1974) | Directed by Bob Clark
Alien (1979) | Directed by Ridley Scott.
The Fog (1980) | Directed by John Carpenter.
Horror of Dracula (1958) | Directed by Terence Fisher.
The Funhouse (1981) | Directed by Tobe Hooper.

DVD Spotlight: The Thing (Collector's Edition).

2010-09-16T13:14:00.009-03:00

The Thing (Collector's Edition) (1982)
DVD Release Year: 1998.
Released by: Universal Pictures.
Region: 1.
Starring: Kurt Russell; Wilford Brimley; T.K. Carter; David Clennon; Keith David; Richard Dysart; Charles Hallahan; Peter Maloney; Richard Masur; Donald Moffat; Joel Polis; Thomas G. Waites; Norbert Weisser.
Directed by: John Carpenter.
Colour/109 Minutes/R

A remake of the 1951 Howard Hawks-directed classic The Thing from Another World, which in turn is based on the short story Who Goes There? by John W. Campbell Jr., is one of director John Carpenter's masterworks.

The story involves a twelve-man team, working in a remote Antarctic research station, encountering the last remaining member of a Norwegian research team trying to kill a dog that he has chased into their camp. Having no choice, they are forced to kill the man and save the dog. However, after investigating the Norwegian camp, they soon discover that the rest of the Norwegian team was killed by something they had taken from the ice, something from a crashed alien spacecraft that had been buried there for over 100,000 years. As it turns out, that very something took the form of the dog they saved and now it's slowly taking over the members of their team as well, by copying them! The Thing can be anyone, and that fact causes tension and mistrust among the team. They are at each other throats as the Thing picks them off by playing them against each other. It seems they will soon meet the same fate as the Norwegians did if they don't find a way to pull together and trust each other.

The Thing is a tense and claustrophobic film full of solid acting and innovative special effects for the very gory nature of the Thing itself. You really get a sense that the creature is old and has been to many worlds in its day. As it transforms we see various features from the different animals it has copied. It makes for a very creepy Lovecraftian tone: something Lovecraft fan Carpenter was well aware of and has used in several of his films. Kurt Russell, as MacReady, is a loner and an alcoholic. He wants to escape everything, but it is he who is forced to take charge as the shit hits the fan. Here he gives another good performance -- something that always happened when he worked with Carpenter. But this is not a one-man show, as this all-male ensemble piece features good performances from everyone involved. Wilford Brimley is especially effective as Blair, who quickly realizes the full gravity of the situation the group find themselves in and slips quickly into paranoia and madness. All of this tension is punctuated by Ennio Morricone's score, which is cold, alien and actually quite similar to what Carpenter was doing with his own scores at the time.

Released in direct competition to E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial, the American movie-going public was not ready for something as horrific as the alien from The Thing, nor the bleak and depressing tone of the film. Although not a total bomb, it didn't do very well critically or financially when it was first released. However, thanks to home video, it has since gone on to be more than just a cult classic, but embraced as a true overlooked gem, worthy of respect. The movie sets out to scare and it does. Taking elements from Invasion of the Body Snatchers and Agatha Christie's Ten Little Indians, the film actually stays more faithful to the original story than the first film adaptation did, and the Thing is one of the most interesting and outright scary monsters to ever appear on screen. Who has been taken over? Would you even know if you had been? The film is a shining example of how to blend horror and sci-fi together and make it work.

DVD Information:

Video: 2.35:1.
Audio: English Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound, French 2.0.
Subtitles: English; Spanish.
--Chapter selection.
--Feature commentary with director John Carpenter and Kurt Russell.
--Original theatrical trailer.
--Outtakes from the film.
--Behind the scenes photographs.
--Storyboards and conceptual art
--Annoted production archive.
--Featurette: John Carpenter's The Thing: Terror Takes Shape, original 80-minute documentary featuring interviews from John Carpenter, Kurt Russell, special effects make-up designer Rob Bottin, matte artist Albert Whitlock, plus other members of the cast, crew and special effects team.
--Never-before-seen stop motion animation footage cut from the film.
--Exclusive work-in-progress visual effects footage.
--Behind-the-scenes location footage.
--Bios for John Carpenter and Kurt Russell.

There very well could be some stuff that I missed because some of the features listed above cover a ton of different things. This DVD is just PACKED. It's by far one of the most impressive I've seen. The audio and picture get no complaints from me. The DVD just has all the goodies a serious fan of the film could hope for, including yet another trademark AWESOME commentary track from John Carpenter and Kurt Russell, who obviously have a lot of fun watching the films they made together and talking about them. The commentary is funny, interesting and quite insightful. In case you didn't quite "get" what everything was about and what was going on in the movie, you'll soon be educated after looking through the extras here. Terror Takes Shape covers the production, release and reception of the film in good detail. There's also fold-out liner notes instead of just the usual card that shows the movie poster and the chapter selections on back, that goes into some more detail about the film. Coming from a music fan who buys albums for liner notes and the like, it's always a nice addition to have that little extra something with the rest of the package.

Film Review: Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever

2010-09-14T11:35:00.006-03:00

Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009)
Starring: Rider Strong; Noah Segan; Alexi Wasser; Rusty Kelley; Marc Senter; Giuseppe Andrews; Mark Borchardt; Michael Bowen; Regan Deal; Judah Friedlander.
Directed by: Ti West.
Colour/86 Minutes/NR

Picking up where the original Eli Roth-directed film ended, Rider Strong's character of Paul is still alive and able to move from the creek he fell in, despite being infected with that nasty flesh-eating virus that killed all of his friends. Sadly he only manages to move into the path of an oncoming school bus. SPLAT! But that's not the worst of it. The creek he had fallen into is the source of water for a bottled water company. The teens on the school bus are hauling a new batch of said water back to the school, some of it intended for use at the upcoming prom.

Thrown into the mix is a typical teen romance triangle between the shy nice guy, the lovely popular girl, and her dick of a boyfriend. Also, (sort of) on the case is slacker cop Winston (Giuseppe Andrews), from the original film, tracking down the source of the disease and trying to find out just what the government's angle is in all of this. As prom night comes closer more and more people start to become infected and the government moves in on the school to contain the disease Crazies-style. I think you can guess that things don't end well for a lot of the characters.

If anything, I applaud this film for demonizing the drinking of bottled water when one doesn't have to. Also of note is the film's willingness to go that extra mile to gross out the viewer: blood vomiting; blood peeing; puss-filled sores on the lips of a girl going down on one of the main characters, then the graphic results of that blow job later on in the picture (yikes); bloody sex with an obese girl in the school swimming pool. This film does manage to out-gross the original in spades. However, the balance between comedy and outright horror is badly handled. At first the film plays like a typical teen comedy, and the subplot involving Officer Winston seems almost like an attempt to spin that character off for his own stoner/slacker film series, and the animated bookends to the film, used for exposition, just don't fit and seemed tacked on. Then when the blood starts spewing, things turn mean and one scene involving an infected pregnant girl really belongs in something really mean spirited like Cannibal Holocaust.

There are obvious pacing problems, too, as the film just shoots along way too fast towards a semi-impressive, blood-filled conclusion. You barely get to know or give a shit about anyone in the cast, even though they all do a good job with what they are given to work with. Standing out is the ill-fated Rusty Kelley as the wise-ass best friend, and Alexi Wasser as the main character's love interest is very easy on the eyes. This film was plagued with re-shoots and re-edits to the point where director Ti West asked to have his name removed from the credits, but he was denied. Really, looking at this film, one wouldn't have the first clue that the guy who directed this also gave us House of the Devil. Not nearly as good as the original, but I didn't exactly love that film either. But still, It's worthy of a rental if nothing else is calling out to you on the shelves.

Kevin McCarthy RIP.

2010-09-13T10:11:00.007-03:00

Kevin McCarthy

February 15, 1914 -- September 11, 2010

Selected Filmography:

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)
Piranha (1978)
Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
The Howling (1981)

Film Review: The Limits of Control.

2010-08-30T10:13:00.010-03:00

The Limits of Control (2009)
Starring: Isaach De Bankolé; Alex Descas; Jean-François Stévenin; Óscar Jaenada; Luis Tosar; Paz de la Huerta; Tilda Swinton; Youki Kudoh; John Hurt; Gael García Bernal; Hiam Abbass; Bill Murray.
Directed by: Jim Jarmusch.
Colour/116 Minutes/R

Isaach De Bankolé is the "Lone Man". A quiet hit man on a job in Spain. His target is as much of a mystery to us as it is to him. He travels from mostly deserted location to mostly deserted location, ordering two cups of espresso and waiting to meet contacts who ask him in Spanish: "You don't speak Spanish, right?". He say no and then they talk to him for a short time, giving him their opinions on a specific subject, like art or science. The Lone Man listens, seemingly without interest and then the two parties exchange matchbooks. Inside of the Lone Man's there is always a small piece of paper with a coded message. He eats it and then washes it down with his espresso before meeting his next contact. Eventually this cycle leads him to his mysterious American target (Bill Murray), who is guarded in a fortified complex. How will the Lone Man get in, and why has he been sent to kill this man?

Good question. I have little idea. Jim Jarmusch is known for his artsy, minimalist plots and here he takes that style to its limits. The plot is so distilled to its base components that there virtually is no plot to speak of. Instead the viewer is given an action film, devoid of action, driven by mood, tone, and motif, but without it leading to some sort of point by its conclusion (at least any that I can see). I'm a huge fan of Jarmusch's films, but at the same time I'm not well versed in hardcore art house films, and there is no doubt that this film fits that bill. What I believe I do see is the idea that nothing is original; everything is a repeat of something that came before, a variation. Until its conclusion, The Limits of Control is the same group of scenes repeated with slight variations, almost as if the characters are part of some ritual that exists outside of the rest of the world. Is this a parody of an art film? Is this a critique of an art film? Is it both? It's so broken down to base elements that it even lacks the interesting conversations found in most Jarmusch films. The other characters talk to the Lone Man, but rarely do they get a response (not even the always naked Paz de la Huerta can get a smile from him). They might as well be talking to themselves.

Despite how confusing this film is at times there is stuff to love here. First off, Isaach De Bankolé has one of the most interesting faces seen on film. The hard edges and high cheek bones look sculpted. Much of the time he seems to become part of the beautiful architecture and landscapes he is surrounded by. His character seems to almost be some sort of primal force that the rest of the world circles. Perhaps he is the great magnet Hunter Thompson spoke of, and all around him flow to his whim. He is always watchable. The other actors, who really only have extended cameos, try their best, and each character they individually play have an interesting look and something mildly interesting (although a bit self indulgent) to say about whatever subject they choose to speak on. I wanted more of them. Christopher Doyle's stunning cinematography is some of the most beautiful work I've seen in a film in a long while. Given that almost nothing else happens in the film, it does work as a lovely travelogue. In fact, on the DVD there is a feature devoted solely to his photography in the film as well as a, long, two part documentary on the making of the film, which is actually a much more interesting film than The Limits of Control is itself. Still, hardcore fans of Jarmusch may want to rent this one. Everyone else will probably want to avoid it at all costs.

Capsule Film Reviews #50: Damnit, I Found More of My Archives.

2010-08-09T14:00:00.008-03:00

Hey, look what I dug up. I should just shut the hell up when it comes to talking about getting all of my old archive of reviews up. I could have sworn the previous post was it. I had finished them off. But no, I'm going through my old discs, looking for something totally unrelated and I stumble across yet another batch of reviews. I'm an epic failure when it comes to organizing my old stuff. So: no promises that this is it. They way things are going, I very well may run into reviews, dating back into the late '90s, that I thought were totally destroyed. As much as I'd like to steer this blog more towards horror and exploitation reviews, this post is a pretty mixed bag.

Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)
Starring: Will Ferrell; John C. Reilly; Leslie Bibb; Sacha Baron Cohen; Michael Clarke Duncan; Amy Adams; Jane Lynch; Gary Cole.
Directed by: Adam McKay.
Colour/122 Minutes/NR

On initial glance I suspected I was going to be bored by this film or that I'd just hate it outright. A comedy film about a NASCAR driver? Come on, we all like to make fun of and laugh at rednecks, but could this really be any good? Even with talents like Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly at the helm, could this be anything but another Joe Dirt? Well, I'm pleased to say my initial reservations were stupid. You've got the writing team of director Adam McKay and Will Ferrell, who also did Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. If you liked that film, you'll love this one because it's pretty much on par. Will Ferrell is Ricky Bobby, the #1 NASCAR driver in America. He's a big, loud, ugly American winning machine. Along with his moronic, lapdog best buddy and team mate Cal Naughton Jr. (John C. Reilly), he rules the tracks until a flashy European driver (Sacha Baron Cohen... who really has fun with the typical Euro-stereotype some people hold) comes swooping in and bests him. This destroys Bobby's fragile ego, and his life falls apart. Cal moves in with and marries his wife, and Ricky Bobby moves back in with his mother and gets a job at a pizza place. It's up to his estranged father to try and kick his ass back into being a man, so he can make a comeback and reclaim his NASCAR throne. The entire film is pretty about over-the-top characters spouting off as many funny lines as possible. Sure, it's dumb, crude and pointless; but does that matter if you're laughing all the way through it? The film's only real obvious flaw is that it's such a fucking commercial whore. There are adds for everything on display in this film. Still, that is what NASCAR is like though, right? So I guess I can't fault them too much. Plus, some of Ferrell and Reilly's best moments are their commercials for fake products and their strange public service announcements. The extra ones on the DVD, along with the outtakes and deleted scenes, make it worth the rental alone.

Step Brothers (2008)
Starring: Will Ferrell; John C. Reilly; Mary Steenburgen; Richard Jenkins; Jason Davis; Kathryn Hahn.
Directed by: Adam McKay.
Color/ 98 Minutes/NR

Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly are 40 year old, unemployed losers, who have never grown up, and still live with their single parents (Mary Steenburgen and Richard Jenkins). When their parents fall in love with and marry each other, they find themselves unwilling step brothers. They instantly are at each others throats, but eventually become best friends, but by that point their antics cause their parents to get a divorce. Oh what to do now but engage in zany antics to get them back together? Or something. I went into this film expecting it to be funny. The Ferrell/Reilly team was awesome in Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, and the director, Adam McKay, who also directed Ferrell's real break-out film, Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy, is back in the helm here. Seemed win-win to me. But no. Step Brothers is an almost totally unfunny film from start to finish. There are laughs, yes, but you really have to wait for them. Sometimes I found myself laughing just to be nice. Pity laughs. Oh what a feeling they create. A little ball of cancer forms in your brain with each one. That's a dirty feeling to have inside you. Talladega Nights was line after line of awesome. Step Brothers bored the shit out of me. This film should have been called "Failure to Launch", but the title was already taken, along with most of the plot, back in 2006. Jesus, you know what's the most annoying thing here? The line that sold it for me in the trailer was NOT IN THE FILM! The line that hooked me came from the scene where Ferrell is burying Reilly in a shallow grave. Reilly ask Ferrell what he's doing. "I'm burying you," Ferrell exclaims. "My dad will miss me," protests Reilly. "He'll never know you're gone," Ferrell replies. That got me. Sorry, maybe not for everyone, but I found that damn funny. It sold me on seeing this film. Yes, after watching this whole shitburger, it wouldn't have helped my overall opinion of the film, if it had been left in, but still...YOU DISHONEST FUCKING MOVIE!!! I hate you. Shame on Ferrell and Reilly. Shame on Mckay. Shame on me for being suckered into watching this. Avoid. Abort.

Batman Begins (2005)
Starring: Christian Bale; Michael Caine; Liam Neeson; Katie Holmes; Gary Oldman; Cillian Murphy; Tom Wilkinson; Rutger Hauer; Ken Watanabe; Mark Boone Junior; Linus Roache; Morgan Freeman.
Directed by: Christopher Nolan.
Colour/140 Minutes/PG-13

Yes! A great Batman film! Christian Bale bulked up like a motherfucker and got all broody in order to give us the best Bruce Wayne/Batman outside of the animated series. He could crush Keaton with his stare alone here. Director Christopher Nolan gives us a proper origin story for Bruce Wayne/Batman, and we see him go to Asia to learn how to fight under the teachings of Henri Ducard (Liam Neeson) and his shadowy master, Ra's Al Ghul (Ken Watanabe), who runs this league of ninja crime-fighter types. However, this league isn't actually all that nice and Bruce Wayne leaves after whooping some ninja ass, only to return to a corrupt criminal-run Gotham City, plagued not only by mafia, but also the sinister super villain, Scarecrow, who sports a cool thrift store mask and the ability to say "boo" and make it work. Throw in supporting roles by Michael Caine (best Alfred ever!), Gary Oldman (best Jim Gordon ever!), Morgan Freeman (best Lucius Fox ever!), motherfucking' Rutger Hauer (just the best at whatever he does ever!), and Katie Holmes (best useless character, but very cute with a nice body ever!) and you've got a winning combo. Dark, edgy, not overblown, wonderful toys, good acting, good action scenes, and Joker foreshadowing. And the follow up from Nolan and crew, The Dark Knight, would go on to blow this film out of the water. Rent?: sure. Own?: yes.

Iron Man (2008)
Starring: Robert Downey Jr.; Terrence Howard; Jeff Bridges; Gwyneth Paltrow; Leslie Bibb; Shaun Toub; Faran Tahir; Clark Gregg; Bill Smitrovich; Sayed Badreya; Paul Bettany; Jon Favreau.
Directed by: Jon Favreau.
Colour/126 Minutes/PG-13

A very good adaptation -- and this is coming from someone who has never really read more than about two issues of an Iron Man comic in my life, and has never been a big fan. You can get into it without knowing a lick about Tony Stark and his metal dress-up fetish. You can view it as semi-deeper than usual sci-fi action film really. But man, did they get their shit down. Solid acting. Really good special effects that both wow and yet serve the plot, which is not as action packed as one might think. Also, it's a fairly funny film, too. This is an origin story, so more time is given for the characters and their motivations. There will probably be a lot more action in the sequels. Is there anything Robert Downey Jr. can't do? The man somehow keeps a straight face while walking around with a light bulb stuck in his chest for two thirds of the film. Jeff Bridges makes for a pretty good villain and Gwyneth Paltrow looks pretty good to me for once, and not just because of the red hair. I dug that they play the old theme song from the cartoon in lounge music form during the film. Just a nice sly little wink. Oh, and stay until the end of the credits for Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury. This doesn't quite rank up there with the first two X-Men films; Spiderman 2; Batman Begins; Watchmen and The Dark Knight, as far as quality superhero genre films go, but it's not anywhere near abortions like Daredevil. Worthy rental.

Shanghai Knights (2003)
Starring: Jackie Chan; Owen Wilson; Fann Wong; Aaron Johnson; Aidan Gillen; Tom Fisher; Donnie Yen.
Directed by: David Dobkin.
Colour/114 Minutes/PG-13

Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson return as Chon Wang and Roy O'Bannon in this western/kung fu crossover comedy sequel to the hit Shanghai Noon. This time around Chan's father, a protector of the Chinese Royal Seal (um, or something like that), is killed. The Seal is stolen and Chan's attractive sister sends word to Chan in order for him to help her find the killer (who is in London), and take revenge on him as well as return the Seal to it's rightful place. Chan goes to New York to find Wilson down on his luck and looking for an adventure. They both head off to England and get in a series of slapstick martial arts battles with various baddies. The movie is not serious at all. The plot is an excuse for various running gags, said martial arts, and a chance to meet various historical characters like Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Jack The Ripper, and Charlie Chaplin, while poking fun at everyone and everything. I like Chan and his stunts. I like Owen Wilson and his laid back comedy style. I liked the good-natured feel to the whole movie in general. I especially got a kick out of the main villain, a Brit, being the one who uses guns while the American cowboy, Wilson, only uses his fists and his wits (or lack thereof), to get the job done. The movie is not especially funny, and, to be honest, the outtakes at the end were much more amusing than any of the jokes present throughout the whole film. That seems to be an alarming trend with comedies these days, and it almost makes me wonder if the outtakes were as staged as Chan's awesome stunts were. I'm positive that someday, somebody will make a film and only release the outtakes because they will end up being better than the entire film itself. A rental for a night where you don't give a damn.

Ocean's Eleven (2001)
Starring: George Clooney; Brad Pitt; Matt Damon; Andy Garcia; Julia Roberts; Bernie Mac; Don Cheadle; Casey Affleck; Scott Caan; Elliott Gould; Eddie Jemison; Shaobo Qin; Carl Reiner.
Directed by: Steven Soderbergh.
Colour/116 Minutes/Pg-13

George Clooney and Brad Pitt head up a semi-all star cast in a slick and too-cool-for-its-own-good-sometimes remake of the original Rat Pack crime film. The film involves Clooney setting up a daring robbery of various casinos all on the same night, as well as trying to win back his ex-wife, played by Julia Roberts. The movie's strength is in the interplay between the characters. The robbery details take more of a back seat here, unlike the other two big 2001 crime films The Score and Heist. I enjoyed it. Clooney is pretty cool, I think, and he is the only actor I can think of today who makes me think "Yeah, he could have been a Rat Pack member". Ocean's Eleven is a style over substance film, it's lightweight, and Julia Roberts' character isn't even in 3/4 of the movie (it seems like she's just there to lend her name to the credits). Still, it's a fun rental.

From Hell (2001)
Starring: Johnny Depp; Heather Graham; Ian Holm; Robbie Coltrane; Ian Richardson; Jason Flemyng; Katrin Cartlidge; Terence Harvey; Susan Lynch.
Directed by: Albert Hughes and Allen Hughes.
Colour/122 Minutes/R

Based on the comic book series by Alan Moore and Eddie Campbell. Johnny Depp plays absinthe and opium-addict/detective, Inspector Frederick Abberline (based loosely on the real life Abberline who actually worked the Ripper case, but was not a junkie), who has some small degree of psychic ability (which the opium and absinthe helps him focus), on the hunt for Jack the Ripper in 19th century London, before the killer kills the last of a group of "bang tails" (whores), who seem to know something the killer wants kept quiet. I really enjoyed this odd take on the Jack the Ripper myth that has stemmed from the very real murders from that time period. It's full of interesting visuals and better then average characters, which help to fill out a movie that has the unfortunate problem of giving its secrets away to us half an hour before the characters manage to figure them out for themselves. But that's the only real big flaw in an otherwise enjoyable movie. I especially liked the film's thoughts about who Jack the Ripper was. A worthy rental or purchase.

Novocaine (2001)
Starring: Steve Martin; Helena Bonham Carter; Laura Dern; Lynne Thigpen; Polly Noonan; JoBe Cerny; Elias Koteas; Yasen Peyankov; Scott Caan.
Directed by: David Atkins.
Colour/95 Minutes/R

Steve Martin is a mild-mannered dentist who is pulled into a world of drugs, double-crosses, and murder by a sexy young junkie (Helena Bonham Carter) in this enjoyable little slice of film noir. She comes in looking for drugs at the command of her psychopathic brother and Martin's at first unwilling to help, but he soon discovers that he's not such a mild-mannered person after all, but a man filled to the brim with burning desires to escape the "normal" life he had planned, which included getting married to his assistant. He discovers that he's quite in love with Carter, and she discovers the same, which leads them into all sorts of trouble from Carter's brother, Martin's girlfriend, Martin's seedy brother, and the law. I enjoyed it quite a bit. It moves at a steady pace and has some laughs here and there. I especially enjoyed Kevin Bacon's bit part as an actor who wants you to know he's more than just an actor, who, lucky for Martin, happens to be doing research for the part of a cop just as Martin is being investigated for murder. I also liked how Martin decides to fully break out of his shell when he's forced to do something drastic to escape the law with Carter and see his dreams of living in France and raising a family. Good rental.

Mr.Deeds (2002)
Starring: Adam Sandler; Winona Ryder; John Turturro; Allen Covert; Peter Gallagher; Jared Harris; Erick Avari; Peter Dante; Conchata Ferrell; Harve Presnell; Steve Buscemi.
Directed by: Steven Brill.
Colour/96 Minutes/PG-13

Adam Sandler's act got old pretty quick and now it's got both feet firmly planted in the grave, dirt up to his neck, with Sandler finding it harder to breath. Mr.Deeds is a semi-remake of Mr.Deeds Goes to Washington, I believe, but I frankly don't care because whatever it was based on HAS to be better than this tired tripe. Sandler goes though the motions with his cliched ironic detachment character, the small-town guy who gets thrust into the spotlight or an adventure of some sort, while meeting wacky characters and cardboard cut-out villains, and some tacked-on love interest (who must be the dumbest woman in the world, BTW). There just wasn't anything to laugh at here, except maybe a brief breakout of Sandler singing Space Oddity, but it was too brief of a scene to go anywhere. The story is so piss-poor and stupid that I won't bother you with the details. Needless to say, avoid at all costs, unless you're a fan of Sandler's formula stuff. In that case, your mental abilities and obvious lack of taste in good movies will prepare you for this anti-thrill ride of everyone elses life. I'm so glad I got a burnt copy of this from a co-worker instead of shilling out money to rent it. Dodged a bullet there. Avoid. Abort.

A Beautiful Mind (2001)
Starring: Russell Crowe; Ed Harris; Jennifer Connelly; Christopher Plummer; Paul Bettany; Adam Goldberg; Josh Lucas; Anthony Rapp; Jason Gray-Stanford; Judd Hirsch.
Directed by: Ron Howard.
Colour/135 Minutes/PG-13

Russell Crowe is a nutcase prone to delusions and paranoia with resulting outbursts of violence. But enough about his personal life. In this movie Crowe does a convincing job of playing John Nash, the gifted yet socially introverted math genius who manages to overcome the various roadblocks in the way of his goal of discovering something that will allow him to leave his mark on the world forever. He comes up with an apparently amazing formula that re-defines economic trade, gains self-confidence, and shacks up with the very sexy Jennifer Connelly only to have all of this perfect life shatter into pieces when he becomes schizophrenic, falling into a imagined life where he works as a top code breaker for the USA and is constantly hounded by Russian agents. The movie is long and drawn out and it does a good job of mind-fucking you. It makes you question what is real and what is just in Nash's head. The movie is also a love story, centering on his wife's devotion for him, willing to risk her life to help him see this illness through. This is, of course, "based" on Nash's life, so I had no problem with the liberties taken with facts. I did find some of the lines to be over-dramatic at times, but the acting and the surprising level of suspense makes this worth while to see. Plus, if you don't, Crowe will most likely hunt you down and break your back with his knee several times over, and force you to listen to his rock band while tied up in your wheelchair. Good rental.

We Were Soldiers (2002)
Starring: Mel Gibson; Madeleine Stowe; Greg Kinnear; Sam Elliott; Chris Klein; Keri Russell; Barry Pepper; Duong Don; Ryan Hurst; Robert Bagnell; Marc Blucas.
Directed by: Randall Wallace.
Colour/136 Minutes/R

Fairly credible-feeling account of the first major action America saw in the Vietnam war. It stars Mel Gibson as a father-figure like officer leading his men into battle to smite those heathen commie bastards. It's an American with a capital "A" war movie so you can expect some of the typical macho bullshit and the senseless spouting of love for "God and Country", which is annoying but correct for that time period (hell, still correct, I suppose), but you also get all the guts and gore you can ask for. The horrors of war shown here are not anything we haven't seen in Saving Private Ryan, but the battle scenes are impressive and one scene honestly made me cringe with disgust, which is hard to do to a guy who watches as many horror movies as I do! See if you can discover what scene I'm referring to. The acting is good, but spotty in parts (especially with the American-God-family-speech-type crap). One scene involving the wives of the soldiers all forming bonds made me gag. I had to divert my eyes when they got into this simplistic Oprah-like discussion, over the topic of racism that just happened to come up in their casual conversation. But if there's one man that can save a movie for me it's Sam "mother-fucking" Elliot. He's one of my favorite character actors, and he's a perfect supporting player as a the tough veteran soldier. This movie is a flawed but entertaining rental.

Changing Lanes (2002)
Starring: Ben Affleck; Samuel L. Jackson; Kim Staunton; Toni Collette; Sydney Pollack; Tina Sloan; Richard Jenkins; Akil Walker; Cole Hawkins; Ileen Getz; Jennifer Dundas; Matt Malloy; Amanda Peet.
Directed by: Roger Michell.
Colour/98 Minutes/R

Samuel L. Jackson is a recovering alcoholic looking to provide a stable situation for his family so his wife won't take the two kids away for good. Ben Affleck is a young up-and-coming laywer who maybe getting in over his head in some shady dealings. Both can't be late for important meetings on one specific morning. Jackson must make it to court on time to prove his worth. Affleck must provide important documents in a seperate court. They get into a car accident, hitting each other. Jackson, trying to do the right thing, wants to exchange insurance information. Affleck, in a hurry, wants to buy Jackson off and get going. Jackson refuses and Affleck leaves him stranded in the middle of the road. However, in the rush Affleck leaves his important documents at the scene. Jackson, after being provoked by Affleck in another encounter, goes over the edge and holds those documents hostage. This sets in motion a hard day for both men, who go at each other in increasingly mean ways because they both blame each other for ruining there lives that day. I won't give away the plot twists, but I really enjoyed this film. Some intresting twists and good character development make it worth while. Some might compare it to Falling Down, due to Jackson's performance, but this film isn't about what that picture was, and such a comparison would not be fair at all, despite the fact that Falling Down was a good movie in its own right. Both characters grow quite a bit in the course of one day, tempted to cross those lines most people wouldn't cross out of fear, anger, guilt, and a need for revenge. Good rental.

Panic Room (2002)
Starring: Jodie Foster; Kristen Stewart; Forest Whitaker; Dwight Yoakam; Jared Leto; Patrick Bauchau; Ann Magnuson; Ian Buchanan.
Directed by: David Fincher.
Colour/112 Minutes/R

Recently divorced Jodie Foster, along with her teenaged daughter, move into a new house. It's a large brownstone once owned by a very rich man who had several "extras" installed like an elevator, video cameras, and a hidden "panic room", where on could run to and be safe behind steel walls if their home is invaded by robbers. Well, wouldn't you know it, during their first night in the house three thugs break in looking for a hidden stash of money that the previous owner left there. Foster and her daughter lock themselves in the panic room, the hitch being that what the robbers want is hidden inside that very room. The rest of the film is a human chess game. Foster and daughter trying to escape to get help, while the robbers try to get in. The movie does not cop-out in any way at all with some loophole gimmick. It's all about who is smarter, and it works as a tense suspense picture. Foster and her daughter and the three robbers all have enough back story provided for them to make them interesting to watch. Dwight Yoakam continues to prove that he should be an actor full time and not a horrid singer of hurtin' music, as he's quite effective as the cold and dangerous robber "Raoul". Good rental.

The Salton Sea (2002)
Starring: Val Kilmer; Vincent D'Onofrio; Adam Goldberg; Luis Guzmán; Doug Hutchison; Anthony LaPaglia; Glenn Plummer; Peter Sarsgaard; Deborah Kara Unger; Chandra West.
Directed by: D.J. Caruso.
Colour/103 Minutes/R

Val Kilmer is two people. One is a tattooed meth junkie and snitch for the police, while the other is a trumpet player who has lost his wife tragically and seeks revenge. Is he suffering from a split personality disorder? Playing out a a hidden fantasy? Or perhaps the drugs have over-taken him? It very much seems that way at times, and indeed the drugs have blurred the lines for him. He's not quite sure who he is anymore. This is much over-looked and very interesting film. It's part Trainspotting-type junkie black comedy and part Tarantino crime picture. In his drug life he gets into a dangerous deal with a big time dealer named "Pooh-Bear", named so because years of cocaine abuse left him with no nose, forcing him to wear a plastic one that makes him sort of look like Winnie the Pooh. He's an interesting villain played with delusional passion by Vincent D'Onofrio as an over-weight nut who likes re-creating the JFK Assassination with remote-controled monster trucks and pigeons! The movie reveals all of its secrets near the end, but the film is still worthy of checking out. Good rental.