Film Review: Riding the Bullet.

Riding the Bullet (2004)
Starring: Jonathan Jackson; David Arquette; Cliff Robertson; Barbara Hershey; Erika Christensen; Barry W. Levy; Nicky Katt.
Directed by: Mick Garris.
Colour/98 Minutes/R

Also known as Stephen King's Riding the Bullet, it's based on one of his more recent short stories. I must admit that I had little interest in seeing it. First off, I read the story and it wasn't bad, but I figured that there wasn't enough there for a film... or at least a good film. It's one of those films that was plagued with distribution problems from the start. First it was going to be released in theatres (and it did get some limited release -- but it flopped), but then it got bumped and it eventually first appeared in an edited version for TV. But since then it's been released on DVD in a R-rated version, and I again still passed it up for a few weeks. I'm sorry I did, because I really enjoyed this throw-back to urban legend-type scares.








The story is set in the late 60's and centers on a young, death-obsessed, college student named Alan Parker who, after a failed suicide attempt, gets word that his widowed mother has suffered a stroke. Ever since his dad died when he was a kid it's just been his mother and himself against the world, so despite his own disinterest in going on with living, Alan decides to hitch-hike to the hospital to see his mother. Along the way, while getting rides or just walking, he has encounters with various weird people on the road -- one of them being much more weird than he could have ever imagined -- who presents him with some tough choices to make about the value of life.

It isn't a great movie or a horror classic or anything, but it was very charming and it just felt right to me. The acting was solid and convincing across the board. David Arquette, who plays the already mentioned "much more weird" driver that Alan encounters, impressed the hell out of me with one of his rare good performances. He should stick to horror films -- he was good in Ravenous, too. The director, Mick Garris, has both adapted and directed Stephen King's work before, mostly for TV with The Stand and The Shining mini-series, and has also directed the under-rated Sleepwalkers. He has a real knack for that '50s-'60s EC Comics feel that really gels with King's words, which is no surprise because he's also done episodes of Tales From The Crypt and Amazing Stories. He knows how important it is to take time to build the characters up more and put more of King's writing on the screen instead of glossing over sub-plots and character touches that the really awful King adaptations have done and paid dearly for.

He really sets a druggie '60s feel to the film, where Alan keeps having little drug trips: is he just seeing things, or are some of these things really happening? Also the film has a really great '60s rock soundtrack with acts like The Zombies, The Electric Prunes and James Brown. Like I said, the movie isn't a classic, but it's well-made and it provides (for me anyway) some old-fashioned horror fun. Hell, I might even buy it down the line, I liked it that much. I think it's at least worth a rental for a lazy night.

Beer Reviews: Grasshopper Wheat Beer, Wildcat Lager, Żywiec, Doom Bar.

Big Rock Grasshopper Wheat Beer (355ml can)
Brewery: Big Rock Brewery, Calgary, Alberta, Canada.
ABV: 5.0%
Visit the official website.

This is a kristalweizen, which is a filtered wheat beer. This is done to give it a lighter body and flavour profile. It pours out a clear, golden straw colour, with a finger or two of foamy head sitting on top. The aroma is mostly a musty wheat smell with some light candyish notes. However it's very faint and mild compared to a standard German wheat beer. The taste is also quite light. Mostly some light grain and some minor sweetness pops up, with no other common wheat beer notes really coming up. It's light body goes down smooth and fairly refreshing, with a clean finish, but people who are used to having flavour in their wheat beer will probably not find this beer interesting. Personally it's okay, but it's really not for me. If I wanted something this light I'd just drink a watery lager instead. Watch the video review.

Wildcat Lager (341ml bottle)
Brewery: Labatt Brewing Company Ltd., Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
ABV: 4.9%
Visit the official website.

This is a Labatt budget beer. It pours out a typical golden colour with a quickly vanishing soapy head. The aroma is a mix of musty dry corn with some slight sweet corn notes. At times the sweetness almost comes off sort of cider-like to me, but that could be my nose trying to find something that's not really there. The taste is all about the corn. Watery dry corn taste, again with some sweet notes. If there was some sort of balance it would be okay, but it's like several different types of corn were thrown into a vat of dirty water. For such a light beer, it goes down pretty rough, too. A horrible budget beer. Moosehead's budget brands are a far better choice. Watch the video review.

Żywiec (500ml bottle)
Brewery: Żywiec Breweries PLC (Heineken), Żywiec, Poland.
ABV: 5.5%
Visit the official website.

A Polish lager pronounced "Zee-Vee-Etts". It seem that the domestic version is 5.7% ABV. It pours out a light amber with a quickly fading head. The aroma is quite nice. Bready, and floral, with some grassy sweetness mixed in. Better than some of the standard Euro-lager aromas I've taken in. The taste is much like the aroma. Again it's bready, with some grain and sweet notes (honey-like) with a slightly spicy and bitter hops finish. It's crisp and it's light mouthfeel helps it go down quite smoothly. Not overly exciting, but it's very nice. Watch the video review.

Doom Bar Exceptional Bottled Beer (500ml bottle)
Brewery: Sharp's Brewery, Cornwall, United Kingdom (England).
ABV: 4.3%
Visit the official website.

This is the bottled version of their bitter. From the website: "Doom Bar Bitter is named after an infamous sandbank at the mouth of the Camel Estuary in north Cornwall. The Doom bar is at its most dangerous between low and high tides when it is submerged by just a few feet. Unsuspecting mariners can easily become stranded or in extreme weather shipwrecked." Okay then. It's a cool name for a beer. It pours out a dark amber, almost mahogany in colour. It gives up a small, fleeting head. A good balance of spicy British hops and malty toffee note make up the aroma. The flavour is bready and dry with toffee and caramel notes, and a decent herbal hops finish. The mouthfeel is slighty chewy, but a tad more watery than one might expect. Still, an above average bitter that goes down smoothly. Worth looking for. Watch the video review.

Capsule Film Reviews #31: Zombies, Zombies, Zombies! Part 3.

Night Of The Living Dead: 30th Anniversary Edition (1968) (New Scenes: 1999)
Starring: Duane Jones; Judith O'Dea; Karl Hardman; Marilyn Eastman; Keith Wayne; Judith Ridley; Kyra Schon; Charles Craig; S. William Hinzman; George Kosana; Frank Doak; Bill 'Chilly Billy' Cardille; Scott Vladimir Licina; Debbie Rochon.
Directed by: George A. Romero (New Scenes: John A. Russo).
Black & White/96 Minutes/NR

AVOID. ABORT. Yes, right off the damn bat, I tell you. I'm a bit surprised a company like Anchor Bay Entertainment would go along with releasing this version of the film. If you don't know, this is one of the seemingly millions of versions of the film that is floating around out there on VHS and DVD. Thanks to it being in the public domain, it's been cut, made into a 3D feature, colourized and remade... but it has never been so totally raped as it is here. THERE IS BRAND NEW SCORE... by Scott Vladimir Licina, which sounds like it was done on a Casio keyboard, and it totally defuses the tension because it's so poorly conceived, produced, and placed in all of the wrong places in the film. Next up: NEW FOOTAGE. Yes, new black and white footage, shot just for this release, using the same film stock... except that it's not damaged by film grain because it's not 30 YEARS OLD, like the rest of the original film is. There's a whole fifteen minutes added in place of fifteen minutes they decided to hack out. Again, the pacing and tension is watered down. The gore makeup on the new zombie footage is light years advanced from the stuff they had to work with in the original, thus is stands out like a sore thumb. The real crime is the hammy acting of the characters in the new footage. They try to flesh out some plot points missing from the original, but end up just making it all so very hard to watch. The monster who did the new score, Scott Vladimir Licina, plays a crazy priest in some of these scenes; and Bill Hinzman, who played the cemetery zombie, has new scenes too... and the makeup they added, to try and make him look like he did back when they shot the original, is so horrible that you want to look up all who are responsible for this abortion and spit in their faces. Mostly it rests on John A. Russo, who spearheaded this whole shameful enterprise, and Bill Hinzman. They've been living off this film for 40 years now. Somebody please cut the cord. AVOID. ABORT. Destroy any copies that come your way.

House of the Dead (2003)
Starring: Ona Grauer; Enuka Okuma; Tyron Leitso; Will Sanderson; Jürgen Prochnow; Clint Howard; Ellie Cornell; Jonathan Cherry; Michael Eklund; Kira Clavell; David Palffy.
Directed by: Uwe Boll.
Colour/90 Minutes/R

Hey, remember when movies were based on books and plays -- sometimes even original ideas? Now it's TV shows and theme parks... and video games. Yeah, so all of these rich raver trash hook up at this weird island to dance the night away when suddenly the undead servants of some immortal Spanish priest start killing them all, making all of them into zombies. Some people late for the party and a few survivors of the initial zombie attack (as well as Jurgen Prochnow slumming it as a scene-chewing sea captain, and b-movie vet Clint Howard as his first mate... and the police or FBI, or something, who are after them) have to fend for their lives. Sounds okay, right? I mean, who can't get behind killing ravers? Wrong. Based on the video game of the same name, House of the Dead never comes to life at all. Unlike the decent video game-turned-movie, Resident Evil, House of the Dead decides to ignore those little things like story and character development in order to focus on a self-serving love fest of fancy MTV camera angles and silly action scenes. The endless running away from zombies, kicking zombies, shooting zombies, and being killed by zombies was making me dizzy. The brief bits of nudity and gore are no real help. Not even the hot Asian chick in the skin-tight costume could keep me interested. THAT'S MADNESS! Also -- and this is perhaps the single most annoying thing that I've seen in a movie in a long while -- they had the nerve to splice brief flashes of actual footage from the video game into the movie itself! Seriously! What the fuck? Is this a movie or a video game commercial? At least the game looked like mindless fun. This movie didn't even have that going for it. I think most people know by now who Uwe Boll is and what he's about. So if you decide to pick up one of his movies you have nobody to blame but yourself. Fuck Uwe Boll. AVOID. ABORT.

The Return of the Living Dead (1985)
Starring: Clu Gulager; James Karen; Don Calfa; Thom Mathews; Beverly Randolph; John Philbin; Jewel Shepard; Miguel A. Núñez Jr.; Brian Peck; Linnea Quigley; Mark Venturini.
Directed by: Dan O'Bannon.
Colour/91 Minutes/R

Pretty well done semi-spoof of the Night of the Living Dead zombie flicks, has a lot of cool gags and neat looking zombies and tons of gore. It involves a strange toxic gas getting loose and raising the dead in a local bone yard. You see, according to this film, Night of the Living Dead really did happen, but it was the military who caused the zombie outbreak. The Military are not much for throwing things away, so some of that gas is still being stored in a medical supply warehouse. Now all we need is two bumbling workers to cause the damn stuff to leak out. Hey, this film has got them! Hey, there goes the gas. As it turns out, a group of punk rockers and preppies have decided to party in the cemetery. Interesting combo for a party, eh? Too freaking bad for them though! These zombies are not slow and a shot to the head doesn't kill them. Even burning them to ashes has questionable results. I've always loved the jokes and zombies in this film. Good, silly fun. I also loved the awesome '80s punk soundtrack and the nude dancing by Linnea Quigley, in one of her best known roles as "Trash", who makes one hell of a hot punk chick!!! Then there's the iconic Tarman zombie. Say it with me....."BRAINS!". If you don't own this by now, what the hell is wrong with you?

Return of the Living Dead Part II (1988)
Starring: Michael Kenworthy; Thor Van Lingen; Jason Hogan; James Karen; Thom Mathews; Suzanne Snyder; Marsha Dietlein; Suzan Stadner; Jonathan Terry; Dana Ashbrook; Sally Smythe; Allan Trautman.
Directed by: Ken Wiederhorn.
Colour/89 Minutes/R

Man, what a let down compared to the first film. Yup, more of that toxic zombie gas is sitting around, this time being transported on trucks. Some of it happens to fall off the trucks and start to spread in a small town. Here comes the zombies. This is just more of the same, except more tame and with very few good jokes. Some of the actors from the first film star in this one, playing different roles! Pretty awful and obvious attempt to cash in on the first film's success. Well here's an idea... if you want to make money like you did from the first one try adding good jokes and some titty! Okay, some jokes are good, and the zombies are still pretty cool, but a film like this without titty is like talking to your deaf grandparents for two hours.... just not a good idea. You may want to rent this. Maybe.

Return of the Living Dead 3 (1993)
Starring: Kent McCord; James T. Callahan; Sarah Douglas; Melinda Clarke; Abigail Lenz; J. Trevor Edmond; Jill Andre; Michael Decker; Billy Kane; Mike Moroff; Julian Scott Urena; Pía Reyes; Sal Lopez.; Basil Wallace.
Directed by: Brian Yuzna.
Colour/97 Minutes/R

This story sees a young couple in love, on the verge of running off together because the young man's father (a higher up in the Army, over-seeing strange experiments with dead bodies, using that secret gas that re-animates them. Uh-oh.) doesn’t approve. A motorcycle accident leaves the girlfriend dead and the young man decides he has no choice but to break into the military base (he gets in rather easy too... must be the result of military budget cuts) and expose his girlfriend to the gas. Bad move, buddy. His girlfriend becomes a zombie and starts chowing down on people, including a bunch of Latino gangsters (who become zombies themselves... check out the one with the... um... neck problem) that end up being a thorn in their side. All the while, the army is making zombie super soldiers. Pretty inventive and interesting twist on the Romeo and Juliet theme. A lot of fun, too. Rent this sucka.

The Serpent and the Rainbow (1988)
Starring: Bill Pullman; Cathy Tyson; Zakes Mokae; Paul Winfield; Brent Jennings; Conrad Roberts; Badja Djola; Theresa Merritt; Michael Gough; Paul Guilfoyle; Dey Young.
Directed by: Wes Craven.
Colour/98 Minutes/R

One of Wes Craven's better films, based on the written accounts of Wade Davis. Ethnobotanist/anthropologist Dennis Allen travels around the world looking for little known flora that could have possible medicinal value. His search takes him to Haiti in search of whatever is used to cause zombification in relation to the voodoo culture there, because it's thought that it may be a safer form of anesthesia. However, he runs afowl of the head of the secret police there, who also happens to be a powerful voodoo priest of sorts. He also starts running into zombies and all other sorts of weird things. Of course, the events Wade Davis wrote about probably have little to do with what actually happened, or at least with what is shown in the film (I've never read the book), but that's okay, because the movie is fairly creepy and interesting. It's kinda nice to take a break from the flesh-eating Romero zombies for a bit. Only the parts involving a love interest for Dennis Allen really drag things down a bit. Those scenes looked to be a part of a whole different movie. Good rental.

Zombie Lake (1981)
Starring: Howard Vernon; Pierre-Marie Escourrou; Anouchka; Antonio Mayans; Nadine Pascal; Youri Radionow; Burt Altman; Gilda Arancio; Marcia Sharif; Yvonne Dany; Jean Rene Bleu; Jean Rollin.
Directed by: Jean Rollin.
Colour/90 Minutes/NR

One of the better known bad zombie films. Nazi zombies start coming out of the lake near a small village in France. Their bodies were thrown in after the villagers rose up and killed them, years before, during the tail end of WWII. Let the thrills begin! The "zombies" are guys with green paint on their faces, walking around in Nazi uniforms. In one attack by said zombies, you can actually see the paint rub off of the face of one of them! What do these zombies do and why are they doing it? Well they seem to like attacking nude chicks quite a bit (the only saving grace in this film), and apparently they want revenge for being killed. One subplot involves a zombie seeking out its long lost daughter, who is way too young considering the time that seems to have passed since the Nazis had been murdered (like about thirty years!). Too many attempts at injecting a storyline hurt this film. They had a perfectly good formula to work with here despite the bad dubbing and horrible editing: zombies attacking nude women. I mean at one point an entire busload of women strip down and are quickly drowned by the zombies, who are waiting in the lake. Oh, and about this "lake": all of the underwater scenes are obviously shot in a swimming pool, that has some plants added in. They either didn't care to hide this fact, or they just didn't have the talent to. If it had just been all T&A getting attacked all the time, it might have been fairly enjoyable mindless fun, but no, it's just got to try for some kinda crud storyline that kills the already awkward pacing. Rent this if you're insane. Sane people should just watch Shock Waves again instead.

Want some of my other zombie film reviews? Check these out (all will open in a new tab/window):
Zombies, Zombies, Zombies! Part 1.
Zombies, Zombies, Zombies! Part 2.
Fido.
Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror.
The Blind Dead Collection.

Capsule Film Reviews #30: Seed of Chucky, Feast, Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds, Lost Boys: The Tribe, From Beyond the Grave, Doom, The Nun.

Seed of Chucky (2004)
Starring: Jennifer Tilly, Brad Dourif, Billy Boyd, Redman, Hannah Spearritt, John Waters.
Directed by: Don Mancini.
Color/87 Minutes/R

This fifth installment of the series takes the path of the last film, Bride of Chucky, going for spoof and sexual humor. Seems that Chucky and his main squeeze Tiffany had a gender-confused puppet child somehow, and this lonely "It" with dreams of having a real family (and other dreams of a more bloody kind) decides to track Mom and Dad down. It brings their souls back into new doll bodies and Chucky and Tiffany instantly start fighting over if their child is a girl or a boy (getting in an Ed Wood joke by having Chucky call It 'Glen' and Tiffany calling It 'Glenda'). They decide to get themselves some human bodies in the form of Redman (here playing himself as a rapper turned director) and Jennifer Tilly (who plays herself as a washed-up actress... while also providing the voice for the Tiffany doll). That's as far as I go. The plot is a mess. The whole idea is stupid. However, there are some good jokes here and there and the film does have a real nasty streak, but most of the humor is strictly obvious and boring. Hey, at least we do get to see Redman's steaming guts hit the floor! We also get to see a certain trashy popstar get run off the road to a firey death! I suppose, to the film's credit, the special are pretty good. The puppets do look really awesome. Oh, and this film features a bit part played by John Waters, if you care. You shouldn't though because it's not at all as good as his appearance on The Simpsons. I liked Bride of Chucky better. I won't even bother comparing this to the first two films, which were more serious and creepy, or the horrible third film that was just total shit. This film isn't really worth a rental unless you're really bored.

Feast (2005)
Starring: Balthazar Getty; Navi Rawat; Henry Rollins; Judah Friedlander; Josh Zuckerman
Jenny Wade; Duane Whitaker; Jason Mewes; Eileen Ryan; Eric Dane; Krista Allen; Clu Gulager.
Directed by: John Gulager.
Colour/95 Minutes/NR

A group of people find themselves boarding themselves up (Night of the Living Dead style) in a tavern located in the middle of nowhere, when a family of weird and vicious monsters come a calling for some fast food. This is a horror comedy (in part produced by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck of all people) that was originally supposed to be released in theatres, but in the end it was decided that the DVD market was the way to go. This was probably a good move, as I could see where it might be edited to the point of it becoming a boring PG-13 film that would just bomb. Also, it's not funny or scary enough to tap into either side of the market respectively, let alone the horror comedy market. However, that being said, it's a lot of fun as a DVD rental for a boring night. Along with some over-the-top gore and grue, this movie features several awesome things that other horror or horror comedy films as of late do not feature:

-Henry Rollins, playing a third-rate motivational speaker, being used as a bettering ram by the monsters.
-Jason Mewes not at all happy about ("Jay" of Jay and Silent Bob fame, if you've been living under a rock) having his face ripped clean off.
-One of the monsters having its cock and balls graphically cut off when it gets caught in a door.
-A dude getting puked on by one of the monsters -- twice -- and then slowly rotting away as a result. He's also not pleased.
-Krista Allen stars, yet I didn't seem to mind that she doesn't get naked for once (and actually, that sort of scares me).
-A film that breaks the forth wall during the character intros by speculating on what each character's chances of survival are... and not always getting it right.

The jokes are funny, but usually not laugh-out-loud funny; the characters are all well-played for the most part. As previously stated, the gore is over-the-top and cool in a minor rip-off of early Peter Jackson kind of way; and the movie doesn't pretend to be anything but a trashy little hour and a half, that at least manages to entertain if nothing else. Good rental.

Feast 2: Sloppy Seconds (2008)
Starring: Jenny Wade; Clu Gulager; Hanna Putnam ; Tom Gulager; Carl Anthony Payne II; Chelsea Richards; Diane Goldner; Martin Klebba ; Juan Longoria Garcia; Melissa Reed; Katie Supple Callais.
Directed by: John Gulager.
Colour/97 Minutes/NR

The title is probably the best thing about this everything-but-the-kitchen-sink sequel to the original Feast, which was a flawed but enjoyable little monster-fest, that broke genre rules and was filled with low brow humor. This movie picks up right where the original ended and it's pretty much more of the same except they put some nudity and midget Mexican wrestlers in the mix, as a rag-tag group of people are forced to defend themselves from the nasty food-and-sex-crazy monsters that are running wild in the town they find themselves trapped in. This film has the balls to kill a baby....IN SLOW MOTION, so one gets a prolonged reaction shot as the poor little tyke is used as bait to slow down a creature that is chasing one of the main characters. Not a likeable character to be found in the bunch, actually. The movie ends with a cliffhanger to set up the next sequel. This film tries its best to funny and offensive trash, but it's just not all that interesting. Skip it unless you're having a trashy movie rental night.

Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)
Starring: Tad Hilgenbrink; Angus Sutherland; Autumn Reeser; Gabrielle Rose; Corey Feldman; Shaun Sipos; Merwin Mondesir; Kyle Cassie; Moneca Delain; Greyston Holt; Tom Savini.
Directed by: P.J. Pesce.
Colour/94 Minutes/NR

I was initially going to avoid this because it had recieved some pretty negative reviews. I was surprised how much I enjoyed it, even if, in many ways it's a remake or re-imaging of the original. An orphaned brother and sister move into Luna Bay, which happens to be vampire central on the west coast. They run into a pack of young vampires, who all happen to be surfers and part of the "Jackass" fanboy crowd, and the sister falls for the head vamp played by Angus Sutherland (brother of Kieffer, who played the head vamp in the original). The brother meets up with one half of the vampire-slaying Frog Brothers from the first film, Edgar Frog (Corey Feldman), and enlists his help to save his sister. The acting wasn't half bad, and this film keeps the balance between humor and horror violence found in the original. I actually quite dug seeing Corey Feldman chew the scenes big time. He gruffs up his voice and acts all badass. And shit, that guy doesn't age does he? It was pretty amusing. I don't get the negative feedback. It's as if the original was some inspired masterwork that this film doesn't live up to. No, the original was a good but overrated cult film. I'll not claim this sequel to to be better than the original, but it's fun and worth giving a chance, if you liked the original. Stay for the credits and check out the alternate endings for some fun hints towards a possible third film (Corey Haim and the other half of the Frog Brothers make cameos!). Baddass Tom Savini cameo at the start of the film, too! Worth a rental

From Beyond the Grave (1973)
Starring: Ian Bannen; Ian Carmichael; Peter Cushing; Diana Dors; Margaret Leighton; Donald Pleasence; Nyree Dawn Porter; David Warner; Ian Ogilvy; Lesley-Anne Down; Jack Watson; Angela Pleasence.
Directed by: Kevin Connor.
Colour/97 Minutes/PG

From Beyond the Grave is one film I've wanted on DVD for a long time now, and finally Warner Brothers released it as part of their "Twisted Terror Collection". I've loved it ever since I've seen it on VHS as a kid. This is one of those horror anthology films from Amicus, who also released Dr. Terror's House of Horrors (1965); The Psychopath (1966); Torture Garden (1967); The House That Dripped Blood (1971); Tales from the Crypt (1972); Asylum (1972); The Vault of Horror (1973), and after it The Monster Club (1980). If you're not familiar with these films, the titles of two of them should instantly give away what they are based on, which is the old EC horror comics, such as Tales from the Crypt and The Vault of Horror. From Beyond the Grave is one of the lesser known of the Amicus anthologies, and probably my favourite. All the stories here are taken from the short stories of R. Chetwynd-Hayes. It stars Peter Cushing (who was in a lot of these) as an owner of a strange antique store. His story is the wrap-around story that sets up the four stories in the film. People come in to his store and are given the chance to cheat him out of items, this then leads to each individual's story, where their fate is determined by what their choice was in the antique store. This anthology features some of the best written stories of all the anthologies Amicus released. Although there is some comedy -- especially in the third story -- the tone is a lot darker. There's good acting by a lot of the Brit actors featured, which is the norm for these: David Warner; Donald Pleasence (who stars in one story with his real-life daughter, Angela), just to name a couple. From Beyond the Grave has some of the best production values seen in an Amicus film, and some nifty camera work, too. Check out the 360 POV candle shot in the first story! This is also one of the most bloody of the Amicus anthologies, and it's presented on this DVD uncut and obviously remastered. I've never seen it look this good. Rent if you must, own if you can.

Doom (2005)
Starring: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson; Karl Urban; Rosamund Pike; Ben Daniels; Razaaq Adoti; Richard Brake; Al Weaver; Dexter Fletcher; Brian Steele; Deobia Oparei; Yao Chin; Robert Russell; Daniel York; Ian Hughes; Sara Houghton.
Directed by: Andrzej Bartkowiak.
Colour/113 Minutes/NR

Based on the famous video game series, of course, this turned out to be much better than it had any right to be, but that's not to say it was all that good. I assume this is based more on Doom III. I say this because I'm only familiar only with the first two games, and the story is a bit different. Instead of demons, it's genetically altered Martians who infect humans and turn them into monsters that are the baddies. We still have the hard-nosed marines going in to fuck some alien shit up, only to get royally fucked themselves. You've seen it all before, but at least those special effects are fucking killer, eh? And they are, actually. Good monsters and gore abound. The movie looks really great. The acting is good enough to service the thin story and unwanted subplot about a brother and sister reunited, which has no pay-off anyway. "The Rock" is always watchable, (the best acting in the film, actually) but he needs better projects than this. Seeing him be the bad guy was amusing, though. Skip this until you have a movie night where you feel your brain needs a rest, then rent.

The Nun (2005)
Starring: Anita Briem; Belén Blanco; Manu Fullola; Alistair Freeland; Cristina Piaget; Paulina Gálvez; Natalia Dicenta; Lola Marceli; Teté Delgado; Oriana Bonet.
Directed by: Luis de la Madrid.
Colour/105 Minutes/R

Low budget horror from Spain (called La Monja on that side of the pond) about a group of young women being picked off by the ghost of a nun, who manifests itself through water. The daughter of one of the victims and her friends decide to find out who the ghost is and why it's killing these women. This film started out being not half bad for what it is. It surprised me, because Maple Pictures, which has become a player in the direct-to-DVD market in Canada (They distribute for Lions Gate), has released a lot of real fucking stinkers in the last few years or so -- some I just couldn't bare to even bother reviewing after watching them. The budget for The Nun is obviously not very high, but they make the most out of it. There is some real talent behind the visuals here. The Nun herself looks great. She's a very creepy spook, for sure. Some of the deaths are pretty cool (a nasty elevator-related death comes to mind right away). The acting is not always there however (it pretty much stinks, actually... and I blame the script more than I do the actors, as they had very little to work with), but it's easy to get over it because the movie moves pretty quick from one kill to another. The real letdowns were the weak script (it gets too talky near the end) and the attempt to provide a twist ending that confused me the first time I watched it, and then pissed me off after the second viewing. Why do they do this? Haute Tension tried to be cute by doing that and nearly ruined a great slasher picture. Why do it here for something this low budget and goofy? I mean, come on: it's a slasher picture about the ghost of a killer nun! Unless you've got a really great twist, just stick to the formula, dumbass. Co-star Belén Blanco was really hot though. Too bad she didn't get naked, or I could have given this higher marks. But this movie would have nun of that. Get it? Nun? Ha-ha-ha! Okay, just forget the joke and renting this film as well.

Beer Reviews: Rickard's Red, Honey Brown, White, Dark; Leffe Blonde; and Hoegaarden Original White.

In this post I'm going to take a look at four selections from the Rickard's line of beers, and two world-famous Belgian ales. Rickard's was co-created by Gord Rickard's, with Molson (the Canadian half of Molson Coors since 2005), in 1985, starting with their flagship Rickard's Red. Since then it has become the best selling Red beer in Canada. As of late, Rickard's has expanded their line to include a witbier in Rickard's White, and their newest edition is their version of a porter, called Rickard's Dark. Brews previous to these two most recent beers are their Honey Brown, Gold, IPA, and Pale Ale. Out of those, I've only had their Honey Brown, as it was available in both 12-packs and in versions of their taster's packs here in Nova Scotia. Their newest taster's pack has dropped the Honey Brown in favour of their Dark... and it seems to have been dropped altogether, as the 12-packs of the Honey Brown have all went on sale and there is no longer any mention of it on their website (although, as of this writing, it's still listed on the Molson website). But who really knows? They may have decided to change focus on where they want to market the brand. Rickard's seems to have become one of Molson's attempts to share in the ever-growing craft brew market in Canada. And it seems to be working, as their beers are popular. It also helps that their White and Dark are actually pretty good quality-wise. Labatt seems to have noticed the success of Rickard's here on the east coast, as it appears they have used Alexander Keith's as their answer to Rickard's (Labatt-owned Keith's having released their own Honey Brown, Red, and White in recent years).

Rickard's Red (341ml bottle)
ABV: 5.2%

This beer pours out a deep reddish amber, giving about a finger of soapy and slightly sticky head that leaves a bit of lacing as you drink. The aroma is a mix of malty, burnt caramel, with some fruity, apple-like sweetness. The taste starts out sweet and bready, with more sweet caramel giving way to a dry and slightly bitter aftertaste. The mouthfeel is a tad watery, but not too bad. There's something off about the finish. Too metallic or something along those lines. Crisp and easy to drink, to be sure, if had very cold, but not really a high quality red. Watch the video review.

Rickard's Honey Brown (341ml bottle)
ABV: 5.0%

Pouring out an amberish, honey-like colour, it's topped by half a finger of head that quickly leaves. The aroma is mostly sweet grain and burnt caramel notes, perhaps with some brown bread in there. Seems mostly like a mild version of Rickard's Red. The taste is a mild, malty sweetness, with notes of honey and a mild bitter finish. Thin body, but it finishes better and is more drinkable than the Red. Not really a style I like that much, so keep that in mind in relation to my apathy. Watch the video review.

Rickard's White (341ml bottle)
ABV: 5.4%

Rickard's attempt at the witbier. This is unfiltered, thus it pours out a hazy golden colour. There is an impressive two-to-three finger head that quickly dies down, leaving no real lacing to speak of. The aroma is very Hoegaarden-like. Orange citrus, spicy coriander, and sweet candy notes come through. Maybe not quite as good as Hoegaarden, but still quite impressive, all things considered. The taste is also quite like Hoegaarden. Mild candy notes, heavy notes of orange and spicy coriander highlights. It has a fairly medium body and it finishes with an unsweetened orange juice aftertaste. No real hop bitterness, but it's not expected or wanted with this style. Rickard's really have a winner here. Not a world class witbier, but it's still a really good, affordable Hoegaarden substitute. Rickard's best beer so far. Watch the video review.

Rickard's Dark (341ml bottle)
ABV: 4.8%

Rickard's claims it's in the style of an English porter, with Quebec maple syrup added in. This brew pours out somewhere between a reddish brown and a dark amber. Not what I'm used to for a porter, but it fits in the range of the style. A good finger's worth of head or more is produced. Sort of lumpy and milkshake-like at first, and it settles to about a half a finger's worth of solid foam, leaving a little bit of lacing as you drink. The aroma is not overly impressive. Muted malt smells of caramel, chocolate and coffee. None of the maple syrup advertised comes through for me in the aroma. The taste is essentially that of a watery macro porter. Slightly roasted, with the malts detected in the nose coming through in the taste, but again muted. I really can't say I'm sure if I taste any of the maple in the sweetness or not -- sometimes I think yes, sometimes no. Light in the mouth, but highly drinkable with no off flavours at all. In my opinion this is the second best offering from Rickard's behind their White. Probably a good intro porter for newbies, but it will not impress seasoned porter drinkers. Watch the video review.

Leffe Blonde (330ml bottle)
Brewery: Abbaye de Leffe S.A., Dinant, Belgium.
ABV: 6.6%
Visit the official website.

A famous Belgian Abby pale ale. It pours out a filtered honey gold with about a finger of fluffy head. The aroma is sweet, fruity, with candy-like notes and some spicy hints of hops. Not mind-blowing, but very nice. The taste brings out a lot of malt character. Quite sweet, earthy, fruity and floral, with a spicy, dry finish. I get cloves, apricot, pear and peach and perhaps some banana notes. They sort of combine after a while to form a sort of marmalade taste. The mouthfeel is fairly medium. I used to think this was a giant among beers. I think any newbie to quality Belgian beers (like I was at the time) will come away with the same impression. However, after having many different Belgian beers, I've come to the conclusion that Leffe Blonde is actually a fairly standard, middle-of-the-road Belgian ale. Still, it's a great beer and highly drinkable. Watch the video review.

Hoegaarden Original White (330ml bottle)
Brewery: Brouwerij van Hoegaarden, Hoegaarden, Belgium.
ABV: 4.9%
Visit the official website.

Regarded as being the original wheat, or white beer, its origins date back to 1445. Unfiltered, it pours out a hazy golden yellow colour with one-to-two fingers worth of white pillowy head. It leaves some okay lacing as you drink it down. The aroma is a fantastic combo of orange peel, wheat, coriander spice, and sweet candy notes. You almost have to really dig to detect malt and hops, but they are there. The taste is carried over from the aroma, although the notes are not as strong. More sweetness; yeasty, with a bit of alcohol coming through as well. Banana and some bubblegum notes come from the sweetness. Its mouthfeel is creamy and smooth and it goes down very, very easily. The perfect beer for thirsty summer nights. I love it, but I do realize that some people will never quite warm up to this style of beer. Also, I know that some people find yeast in their beer to be gross, but really you are losing a lot of flavour if you don't get it in there. Like with most unfiltered wheat beers, you would do well to pour out two thirds down the side of your glass, then swirl the bottle to break up any sediment, then pour that straight down into the glass. Watch the video review.

Capsule Film Reviews #29: Touching the Void, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, End of the Century: The Story of the Ramones.

Touching the Void (2003)
Starring: Brendan Mackey; Nicholas Aaron; Richard Hawking; Joe Simpson; Simon Yates; Ollie Ryall.
Directed by: Kevin Macdonald.
Colour/106 Minutes/R

In 1985 two young British mountain climbers attempt to climb Siula Grande, in the Peruvian Andes. They went up quick, with little equipment and planned to get down quicker, but by the time they managed to reach the top and start heading back down, everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Getting stuck and essentially blinded in a series of vicious snow storms, one of them ends up breaking his leg (he fell and drove his lower leg up through his knee socket); it made me cringe seeing this re-created, in a way the grue from a horror movie would never be able to. This meant he was pretty much as good as dead, and his partner eventually had no choice but to cut the line connecting them, after a prolonged and harrowing failed resuce attempt that threatened to kill both of them. Stunning, and at times frightening, this is a dramatic recreation of the events spilced with interviews from the actual climbers, giving the film a pseudo-documentary feeling to it. The events after the injured man is cut loose are downright horrific and scary to think about. The man falls into a crevice and somehow finds the will to pull himself out, broken leg and all, and keep on heading back down the mountain! Everyone should see this film: it's a testament to the human desire to go beyond the limits and to go on living despite the odds. The film itself looks amazing. From the clear, crisp blue sky and white peaks to the white-out conditions of the raging snow storms, the entire landscape is perfectly captured in all its beautiful and unforgiving nature. The audio picks up all the creaks and gusts of wind, so that you do, at times, feel as if you're stuck up on that mountain in a snow cave. The featurettes on the DVD are interesting -- especially "Return to Siula Grande" -- as the two mountain climbers get right uneasy when they return to the mountain. Who can blame them? A very worthy rental.

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)
Starring: Bill Murray; Owen Wilson; Cate Blanchett; Anjelica Huston; Willem Dafoe; Jeff Goldblum; Michael Gambon; Noah Taylor; Bud Cort; Seu Jorge; Robyn Cohen.
Directed by: Wes Anderson.
Colour/119 Minutes/R

I guess Wes Anderson has a reputation of being the kind of guy who makes films you either really hate or really love. Well, the first time I watched The Royal Tennenbaums, I'm not ashamed to admit I loved it. The second and third viewings of that film started to change my opinion. I started to dislike a lot of Wes Anderson's staples. First off, he gets way too hip for his own good at times, and it's almost like he tires just way too hard to be oddball, directing oddball stories with oddball characters in oddball situations. Also, those Tennenbaums were all unlikeable bastards, pretty much. That being said, I still like The Royal Tennenbaums, and would say it's worth a rental. I love how beautiful his films look. He's got a flair for the visuals, no doubt. He also manages to interject some moments of stark, unflinching reality in otherwise comedic and silly films. So, okay, I don't really love or hate his films, I just sort of like them or sort of dislike them, I guess. I sort liked Rushmore for example. I haven't seen Bottle Rocket. So much for the love-hate idea. Let's put it this way: I think he's an okay director, and a quite original director, but he's vastly over-rated as some sort of wunderkind. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou is probably as close to outright fantasy as Anderson has gone so far. The story revolves around a fallen-on-hard-times oceanographer, Steve Zissou (Bill Murray). He's hitting the ocean to redeem himself by killing the might-not-be-real 'Jaguar Shark', that killed his best friend on their last voyage. Tagging along on his ship, a re-fitted WW2 sub-hunter called "The Belafonte", is his oddball crew (Willem Dafoe, Anjelica Houston, Bud Cort, and Michael Gambon, among others); a preggers reporter, seemingly out to discredit him (Cate Blanchett); and someone who may or may not be his son (Owen Wilson). The film is sort of a dark comedy with serious moments dropped in, but it often sways into fantastical adventure, as some scenes had me thinking I was watching a live action spoof of the old Johnny Quest cartoons. Just check out the scenes were Zissou fends off a pirate attack, and then follows them to their island hide-out. Totally awesome. The acting is top notch from everyone involved. Another enjoyable highlight is Brazilian musician Seu Jorge, as a crew member who plays Portuguese language cover versions of classic David Bowie songs. The story itself is quirky at times, which is what generally really hurts Anderson's films for me, but not here. I found myself laughing more than I was groaning, and although I didn't find the moments that were supposed to be touching effective, the movie had enough original ideas to keep me watching, and the characters this time around were likeable... even Steve Zissou, who is one of the great, self-absorbed, man-child jerks in the history of cinema. Perhaps I'm just a biased Bill Murray fan. Worthy to rent; worthy to own if you're an Murray and/or Anderson fan.

End of the Century: The Story of the Ramones (2003)
Starring: Marky Ramone; Johnny Ramone; Dee Dee Ramone; Tommy Ramone; Joey Ramone; Richie Ramone; Christopher Ward; Roberta Bayley; Rodney Bingenheimer; Clem Burke.
Directed by: Jim Fields & Michael Gramaglia.
Colour and B&W/110 Minutes/NR

As a pure documentary, this film is way better than Ramones Raw from 2004, as that film is more of a tour diary of their later years, done by Marky, and it focused mostly on Johnny and Marky because they were pretty much the only two guys talking to each other in the band by that point. End of the Century is one of the best rock and roll documentaries I've ever seen, right up there with Chuck Berry: Hail! Hail! Rock 'n' Roll from 1987. They've got a lot of interview footage from the band and from their friends, family (mostly Joey's brother and mother), and contemporaries (Blondie members, Joe Strummer, etc...), and a lot of early performance footage. Not a lot of it is never-seen-before stuff, but it's never been put together like this so effectively before now. It covers their career right from the start to the finish, getting quite candid at times about the various in-fighting and grudges held by the band members. It actually gets quite sad and depressing to watch at times, because sometimes these guys really hated each other... in fact, Joey never came to terms with Johnny "stealing" his girlfriend and then marrying her. Johnny is still bitter in the interviews, but also he seems a bit confused and sad about it too (this footage being filmed after Joey's death). Really, the DVD captures the best and the worst of the Ramones legacy perfectly. We even see some very bitter-sweet backstage footage from their induction into the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame, where Marky and Dee Dee have a fight (or something along those lines) and Dee Dee leaves, dying two months later from a drug overdose. This is just a solidly GREAT documentary about one of the greatest rock bands ever. Even if your not a fan of the Ramones, I think you'll still find it quite interesting. It's a good companion piece to have with Ramones: Raw, which has concert footage of a great show they did in Italy and a music video or two, along with tons of TV footage. End of the Century is highly recommended. Fans must own it.

Beer Reviews: Glutaner Pilsener, Young's Double Chocolate Stout, Chimay Grande Réserve, Garrison Oktoberfest Brau, Bavaria.

Glutaner Pilsener (330ml bottle)
Brewery: Brouwerij Huyghe, Melle Belgium.

ABV: 5.2%
Visit the official website.

This is a sorghum-based premium pilsener for those who have celiac disease, which is an autoimmune disorder of the small intestine that damages the organ and prevents the absorbtion of gluten, which is a protein found in wheat, rye, and barley. This pours a pale golden colour, with very little head. The aroma is a sweet grain smell that gives off hints of apples or grapes. It also reminded me somewhat of rice lagers, but mostly of cider. I can not say this tasted good at all. It started off okay, with a very dry bitterness, but it moved to a flavour that tasted mostly salty to me, and it finished with an apple cider taste that forced me to pour the rest down the sink. It was like sucking on a rotten apple that had been pickled in salt water. I'd feel sorry for people who can not have gluten in their diets, if this was the only gluten-free beer going. It's really one of the worst beers I've tasted. Watch the video review.

Young's Double Chocolate Stout (500ml bottle)
Brewery: Wells & Young's Ltd., Bedford, United Kingdom (England).
ABV: 5.2%
Visit the official website.

This pours out a very Dark brown. The finished pour is lovely to look at with as a nice toasty brown head forms. It doesn't last long, but it makes up for it with the nice lacing there is afterwards. The aroma is a bitter chocolate smell with hints of coffee -- it does seem a tad weaker than typical stouts, but this is no typical stout. The taste is a lovely bitter chocolate (surprise, surprise, eh?) and coffee blend with a burnt roasted malt taste holding it together. It goes down as smooth as silk with a medium body. Nice mild bitter finish with lingering chocolate hints. Not cloy with sweetness like the aroma might lead one to believe. Just a highly enjoyable mouth orgasm. I imagine it would be a very worthy dessert beer as well, as it's bitter enough to match up with something good and sweet. Watch the video review.

Chimay Grande Réserve -- 2009 Edition (750ml bottle)
Brewery: Bières de Chimay (Abbaye Notre Dame de Scourmont), Baileux (Chimay), Belgium.
ABV: 9.0%
Visit the official website.

The quad brewed by perhaps the most famous Belgian monks in beer today, the Trappists from the Scourmont Abby. Also known as Chimay Blue. Apparently this can be aged for up to fifteen years without turning, but the peak for tasting is around three to four years in the cellar. It pours dark brownish, with a very one-finger creamy head that does not last long. Okay lacing is left behind. I poured it in a Duvel glass and you can see the dark sediment flakes floating in there. Not an issue for me, but it may turn some people off. It has a nice, but somewhat sharp (in fresh bottles), aroma of dark berries, fruits, caramel, that one tends to get with quads. With the ABV as it is, some might expect a stronger alcohol smell, but it's fairly well masked. The taste is an extention of the smell. A roasted nut note followed with fruity, sweet, almost red wine-like qualities to the taste. Quite port like. Again a fresh bottle is a tad harsh. The finish is lovely and dry. What little alcohol you can taste is just enough to warm you up on a cold day. Feels very bold in the mouth. There is substance and weight to it. I'd call it medium bodied. Not as creamy as I like in an ale, but that's not really an aspect of this style anyway, so I let that slide. When aged the flavours are supposed to blend and the beer becomes more creamy. I could handle two of these no problem, but I like strong ales a lot. It's probably best for newbies to stick to one bottle -- maybe sharing with a friend. Drinking several of these is a no-no, but just because it's a bit too strong... not because of the quality of the brew, which is very high even for a Belgian beer. World class stuff. Watch the video review.

Garrison Oktoberfest Brau -- 2009 Edition (650ml bottle)
Brewery: Garrison Brewing Company, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.
ABV: 4.8%
Visit the official website.

This is Garrison's latest seasonal. Soon they will have so many that they will need to create some extra seasons just to keep up. A marzen-style lager in the traditional sense, as it's darker than a lot of modern marzens now are. It pours out a dark amber in colour with a finger's worth of head that quickly fades to some nice lacing. The aroma is mostly a sweet, malty toffee note, with very little else coming through except a bit of grain. No real hops, but that's par for the style. The taste is more of the same, slightly toasty, with sweet toffee and caramel notes. Mild. The body is fairly light, just being a few notches above standard lagers. Highly drinkable, with a nice bready finish. This won't blow you away flavour-wise, but it's a refreshing and enjoyable beer. Watch the video review.

Bavaria (500ml can)
Brewery: Bavaria Brouwerij N.V., Lieshout, Netherlands.
ABV: 5.0%
Visit the official website.

This is their basic lager. It pours out a deep golden straw colour. The head sits at about a finger and a half, slightly fluffy. It quickly dies to a thin but lasting cap. The aroma is a typical, but nice, sweet grain and lemon note mix. The taste is slightly more malty and thick than a lot of Euro-lagers I've had. Slightly sweet notes up front move to the dry lemon citrus finish. The bitterness is a slight sharp spike in the end, but it's not as pleasant as one would hope, thus it leaves this beer slightly tarnished. Still, quite drinkable, just nothing special. Watch the video review.